Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
by Edie Zee
Summary: Summary: As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 1/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Note: **Yes, I know it's going to happen, but I kind of actually _hate_ the idea of Elena being a vampire on the show (at least this early into it), so my story is going to have that not be the case. I don't know if my explanation for this (in chapter 2) is medically or magically possible. Just go with it!

* * *

"Fine. If she chooses you, I'll leave town too." – _Damon, "Before Sunset" (3x21)_

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."  
– _Robert Heinlein_

* * *

Damon sped through the hospital down toward the morgue, for the first time in his unnaturally long life thinking that his vampire speed just wasn't fast enough. Meredith's voice, saying she had "helped" Elena, ran through his mind over and over again, yet he couldn't quite make sense of it; he knew what she had _said_, but he couldn't _believe_ it.

He had to see Elena.

He had to see for himself.

As he ran down the stairs, the only thing that Damon could think about was the time he had forced Elena to drink his blood in order to keep her alive if Klaus killed her in his ritual. At that time, even though he felt remorse and was afraid she would hate him forever, he was still partly relieved at the thought that she would come back to him, one way or the other. But now…now he was torn. He didn't want her to be dead; of course, he didn't. Her safety was all he had worried about for so long. But she didn't _want _to be a vampire. And all he really wanted – even more than her love – was for her to be happy. Not willing to acknowledge it completely, he realized that part of him was hoping that Meredith was wrong about Elena being a vampire…even if that meant…

Forcing out that thought, he slammed through the stairway door and came to an abrupt stop in the darkened corridor. He could see through the window of the morgue at the far end of the hall. Elena was in Stefan's arms, her back to Damon. Stefan's face was buried against her shoulder. Neither one of them could see him. And that's when he remembered:

She had chosen Stefan. She would _always_ choose Stefan…

Still – the temptation to keep going into the morgue, to take his turn at hugging her, was incredibly strong. So was the temptation to go in there and punch Stefan, even though it wasn't his fault. Even though hewas the one who had every right to Elena. But Damon resisted both temptations, looking down at the ground and clenching his teeth.

He wondered how long he would be able to resist. He wondered if he could handle going back to how they were before, with Stefan and Elena blissfully in love and him alone. Again. He wondered if he could suppress his feelings for her, go back to being the friend, the companion, the protector, but never the lover. He wondered if the bitterness at once again being the second choice would ruin the tenuous link he and Stefan had forged, or if they would go back to being enemies.

But…that didn't have to happen. He could actually keep the promise he had made to his brother.

He looked up from the floor, blinking back tears and feeling weak. He stared at the top of Stefan's bowed head and remembered the awe he felt holding his squirming baby brother all those years ago. A ghost of a smile flitted across his lips. He shifted his gaze to Elena's back, mesmerized for a moment by the fall of her hair. He would miss her. He would worry about her, especially about how she would deal with no longer being human. And he would love her, longer and deeper and truer than he had loved Katherine. This would be an eternal love. But now, she would be eternal too, which meant that, contrary to his and Stefan's original plan to resume their brotherhood after her natural death 60-some years from now, he would likely never see either one of them again.

_I care about you, Damon…which is why I have to let you go._

Damon took a deep breath, slowly letting it back out. Now, he would the one to let both of them go.

* * *

Opening the door to the Gilbert house, Damon called out Jeremy's name. A few moments later, Jeremy started walking down the stairs to him, a stricken expression on his face.

"I take it you heard?"

Jeremy snorted half-heartedly. "It was kinda easy to guess when Ric's ghost showed up."

Damon's eyebrows shot up, even as a flash of grief went through him. He cleared his throat. "Do you know about Elena, then?"

Holding up his phone, Jeremy nodded. "They're on their way here. They should be here in about 10 minutes or so."

Damon offered a small, quick smile that didn't reach his eyes. As Jeremy reached the bottom landing, Damon took a step forward. "I'll take care of Ric's body. He'll be by Jenna, as soon as I can get the cemetery workers compelled."

Jeremy winced, then nodded again. Before he could say anything else though, Damon grabbed him by his shoulders. Jeremy tried to pull back, surprise on his face, but Damon quickly caught his eyes with his own.

"Don't move." Jeremy froze. "You will forget this unless there is ever a _life or death_ emergency. No other reason. If you need me, call the number you have entered for Alaric. _Do not_ erase it from your phone." Damon felt confident that compelling Jeremy was the best solution since he had his ring to prevent him from being the victim of any emergency. Damon paused briefly, then smirked. "And why don't you go ahead and keep paying the bill for it too."

Damon hesitated. "Give me until tomorrow. After that point, if Elena asks, I want you to tell her that I left town and I'm not coming back. That she shouldn't look for me or worry about me. She'll miss me, but she'll know it's for the best." Damon smiled almost a little evilly, knowing that Elena would recognize those words. A tiny, vindictive part of him couldn't help but hope that would piss her off just a little bit.

Squeezing Jeremy's shoulders affectionately, he let him go and rushed out the door before Jeremy could wake out of his daze.

* * *

Damon went to the boarding house first, knowing he didn't have time to take too much but unwilling to leave empty-handed. He moved quickly through his bedroom, throwing into a bag some clothes, a couple of first edition books, a few bottles of his favorite bourbon that he kept in his room for when he didn't want to go downstairs. He stood for a moment, looking at the bag and trying to ignore the fact that it was kind of sad that he didn't have anything truly important to pack after being around for over 170 years. Up until recently, he had just been so used to being on his own, not caring about anything, and taking whatever he needed when he needed it without remorse. Not to mention that, up until now, coming back to Mystic Falls had always been an option, even if it wasn't one that he exercised too often.

There was one thing he could pack though…

He left his room and went into Stefan's, making his way to the table where the picture of Stefan and Elena sat. Grabbing the frame, he looked at the two of them and contemplated ripping it so he could just take Elena's picture with him, allowing him to look at her without having to see their happiness over and over again.

Shaking his head slightly, he decided against it. After all, their happiness was why he was leaving in the first place. Maybe reminding himself of that by looking at the picture of them together would give him the courage to stay away when the temptation to return grew too strong.

Back in his room, he tossed the frame on top of everything else in the bag and zipped it shut. Taking one last look at the luxury that he would miss, his eyes fell on the bed, briefly thinking back to when she had kissed him as he lay dying. He pushed the memory out of his mind.

That would be one good thing about leaving town: there wouldn't be reminders _everywhere_…

* * *

Damon sat on the cold ground, drinking morosely from one of his bottles of liquor. He sighed, then looked over at the freshly turned earth where the compelled workers had buried Alaric just a short while ago. Looking down, he played with the unfamiliar phone in his hands. Before Alaric was buried, Damon swapped his phone with the one in his friend's coat pocket. Now, if anyone tried to call him, they would have no luck, but Jeremy could still get a hold of him if absolutely necessary.

Putting the phone in his own coat pocket, Damon took another drink before looking back over at Alaric's grave. He smirked, then said softly, "you would never let me live down what I'm about to say, so I guess it's a good thing you can't come back to life again to mock me."

Damon hesitated, then sighed. "You were the best friend I've ever had, Ric, and definitely a better friend than I deserved. You were…truly my brother."

Grimacing a little, Damon turned his head to squint at the sun that was just peeking above the horizon. He got to his feet, groaning a little as he did so. Standing at the foot of Alaric's grave, he looked down one more time, then slowly poured the rest of the alcohol onto the ground, a final gift to his drinking partner.

"See ya, buddy."

Damon turned and walked to his waiting car. It was time to put some distance between himself and Mystic Falls.

* * *

FYI, according to .uk, the first known variation of the title of this story is "Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows," by the Roman poet Sextus Propertius. There's your fun fact for the day!

Hope you enjoyed! More to follow…

For those of you who prefer the LiveJournal format, I will be posting this story concurrently there, on my page: .


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 2/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 2**

**Note: **Just to give fair warning, you will have to wait _several _chapters to find out what Damon's up to. Because I'm mean like that.

* * *

"I can't bear the thought of losing one of you." – _Elena, "Before Sunset" (3x21)_

"Love brought us together; bad timing tore us apart." – _Unknown_

* * *

Elena stared out the car window, not really seeing the familiar houses of her neighborhood as Stefan drove past them. They rode in silence, as she was still in a daze. After their initial embrace in the morgue, Stefan had softly, slowly explained to her why she was alive – for now, at least. He recognized her need to come to terms with it on her own first, as well as her need to be with Jeremy.

Stefan pulled into the driveway and killed the engine, turning to watch her intently as she shook herself out of her reverie, unbuckled the seatbelt and got out of the car. She moved slowly, stiffly. Stefan propped his elbow against the window, covering his mouth with his hand, and stayed in the car to give her a few minutes alone with her brother.

Jeremy was on the couch when she walked in, but he stood quickly to walk over and pull her into his arms. The dreamlike state she had been in dissipated quickly; she squeezed her eyes shut to fight back tears as she thought of all the people he had lost. And now this…

Leading her back toward the couch, Jeremy sat first and she curled up against him, smiling sadly at the thought that her _little_ brother was stronger and taller than she. "So how are you feeling?" he asked softly.

Elena shook her head, unsure of how to answer the question. "I…I don't know. Physically, I don't really feel anything yet. I mean, how long is it supposed to take, do you think? Caroline, Jenna…they seemed to feel the hunger almost right away. I…I just feel the_ same_.

Jeremy made a face. "Are you," he cleared his throat and continued, "going to complete the transition?"

Elena pulled herself away from Jeremy to look him in the eyes. "I wanted to talk to you first. What do you think? I mean…," She hesitated, running a hand through her hair and sighing. "I never _wanted_ this. But I can't bear the thought of you being all alone!"

Jeremy leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He rubbed at his eyes. He chuckled wryly without looking at her. "This needs to be your decision, Elena. I can't be responsible for it."

"Please, Jeremy," Elena's face crumpled and the tears she had been fighting started flowing freely down her cheeks. "Tell me what to do. I don't know what to do."

Jeremy sighed and turned to look at her. Leaning back again, he rested his head on the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "You know how I feel about vampires, Elena. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

Elena nodded, looking down at her hands.

"But…then I think about what life would be like without Caroline, or Tyler, or Stefan, or hell, even Damon." Elena let out a little laugh, and Jeremy smiled in response. "Frankly, Elena, ever since I learned about vampires, I figured it was only a matter of time before you became one, either accidentally or on purpose. I used to hate that idea, but I've grown to accept it over time."

Jeremy hesitated, realizing that the words that were about to come out of his mouth couldn't be taken back, that they would irreparably change the rest of his life and the rest of Elena's too. Sitting up straight, he looked into her tear-filled eyes and grabbed her hands to hold in his own. "Elena, it's still your decision. But…whatever you decide, I will never stop loving you."

Elena smiled, then leaned forward to hug him again. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she blinked a couple of times and let out a sigh. "Then…I think I will. I'm…I'm just not ready to die, Jeremy."

Jeremy nodded, squeezing her tighter and closing his eyes.

* * *

Caroline, Matt and Bonnie walked up to the SUV, where Stefan was still sitting in the driver's seat. Caroline knocked on the window and he got out to join them.

"We wanted to be here for her," Caroline said. Stefan glanced at the door, then cocked his head toward it, indicating that they should follow him inside. As they walked in, Jeremy and Elena pulled out of their hug and Elena wiped the tears from her eyes. She stood and hugged her friends in turn, before moving to stand by Stefan.

"I'm going to do it," she said firmly, trying to ignore Matt and Bonnie's reactions as she knew both of them still had and probably always would have misgivings about vampires.

Stefan crossed his arms and looked down at hear, exhaling out of his nose and pressing his lips together. "Are you sure?"

Elena nodded. "I'm sure."

"Alright… Now? Or do you want to wait as long as possible?"

Elena glanced around at her friends, not sure how to say, without hurting Stefan, that she… _needed_ Damon there too. "Ummm… maybe we should wait… for… a little while."

They moved into the kitchen, taking seats at the long table. No one was quite sure what to say, and silence filled the room. Finally, Caroline broke the silence in an awkward, too cheerful tone. "So, who are you going to drink from?"

"Me," Jeremy immediately said.

"No," Elena said quickly, shaking her head. "No. I don't want to drink _from_ anyone. Would a blood bag work?" She looked at Stefan for an answer, but he just made a pensive face.

"I don't really know. I've never known anybody to transition without feeding on someone. But I don't see why not. We could try it, at least."

"Do you have any with you?"

Stefan shook his head. "Maybe Damon could bring one with him when he comes."

Jeremy's brows furrowed, but he couldn't quite figure out what was confusing him. "No. Uh, he stopped by earlier. He's taking care of Alaric's body. I don't know if he'll be back…in time."

Elena glanced away, avoiding looking at anyone for the moment. She was relieved that someone told her where he was without her having to ask, but she couldn't help feeling… _something…_ at the thought that he might not be there when she needed him the most.

"Meredith should be done with her shift soon," Bonnie said. "Maybe she could bring one?"

Elena hesitated, not knowing if she really wanted Meredith there. The woman had meant something to Alaric, but she wasn't really one of them. Not to mention, Elena wasn't really sure if she could forgive her yet. On the other hand, she wasn't really sure if she was truly mad at her either. She nodded. "Call her."

* * *

An hour later, Elena was still not sure what she was supposed to be feeling, but she was pretty sure transitioning wasn't supposed to feel like this. She didn't feel any pain or hunger. She felt like herself. Part of her wanted to ask Stefan and Caroline, but everyone was currently joking around, making a late dinner after realizing that no one had eaten anything in a while. It was a brief reprieve, and she didn't want to remind anyone of why they were really there.

The doorbell rang, and the light-heartedness evaporated from the room. For Elena, though, the chime of the doorbell sparked hope. Maybe it was…No. He wouldn't ring the doorbell. He would just walk in and fire off a snarky comment designed to get her mind off what was happening.

Matt opened the door for Meredith, and Elena's eyes immediately caught sight of the blood bag in her hands. She swallowed heavily, knowing there was no turning back now. She stood, smoothing her hands down her pant legs. "Let's get this over with."

Everyone froze. Then, as one, they all moved to sit down at the kitchen table, leaving the half-prepared dinner behind. Meredith walked to the table and poured the blood from the bag into the mug that Stefan handed her. Elena took it with both hands, staring down at the thick red liquid. This obviously would not be the first time she had drunk blood, but there was no denying that this time was _different_. Taking a deep breath, she looked up and made eye contact with each of her friends, settling last on Jeremy. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Keeping her eyes on him, she lifted the cup and took her first drink.

The metallic, disgusting taste was the same as it had always been. Elena swallowed heavily, then paused, waiting for something to happen. Nothing.

She took another drink.

Still nothing.

She turned to look at Stefan, who had a confused expression on his face. "Shouldn't…?"

"Yeah." Stefan rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "How does it taste?"

She scoffed. "Like blood."

Stefan smiled tightly. "I mean, do you feel like you can't get enough of it?"

Elena shook her head. "No, I have to force myself to keep drinking."

Stefan leaned back, his brow furrowed and his mouth twisted. He looked over at Caroline, who shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe it _does_ have to be fresh?"

Meredith bent over and picked up her bag. She pulled out a syringe and held it up. Jeremy started rolling up his sleeve. Meredith swabbed his arm with an alcohol pad and stuck the needle in him. Jeremy winced and tightened his fist, watching the tube fill with his blood. Stefan stood, grabbing the mug from Elena and walking to the sink. He dumped the blood down the drain, rinsed the mug out and wiped it down. Meredith pulled the needle out of Jeremy's arm and held out the tube to Stefan, who pressed the plunger back down to force the contents into the mug, which he handed back to Elena.

She grimaced. Drinking blood was bad enough. The thought of drinking _Jeremy's_ blood was about a thousand times worse. But, she couldn't ask Matt, Bonnie or Meredith for theirs. It had to be Jeremy's. She lifted the mug to her lips.

Still…nothing.

"OK, what is going on?" She practically shouted in exasperation.

* * *

They were in the living room now, sprawled out on the couch and chairs. They had been throwing out theories for the last hour – anything from the idea that maybe it was just taking longer than usual to the idea that maybe it was some freaky doppelganger thing. Frankly, Elena was getting a little annoyed. Now that she had made her decision, she wanted it over with. This transition limbo was getting on her nerves.

Meredith, curled up in an armchair, straightened out. She had been quiet for a while, listening to the others speculate. "Maybe…," she said, drawing their attention to her. "Maybe we've just been thinking about this all wrong. Maybe you're not going to transition because…you didn't _die_?"

They all stared at her in disbelief. "What?" Bonnie asked, speaking for all of them.

She leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees and folding her hands together. "You guys know about brain death? How doctors check for brain activity in patients before harvesting their organs?" They all nodded. "Well, no one ever checked your brain activity, Elena. I was the one that declared you dead and had you moved to the morgue, purely based on your lack of heart beat and respiration – and, more importantly, because I knew I had given you Damon's blood earlier in the day and wanted to get you out of the way before you _mysteriously_ woke up. So, maybe… maybe you weren't _actually_ dead. Maybe, instead of turning you, Damon's blood just…healed you?"

Stefan and Elena caught each other's eyes, and Stefan shrugged. "I guess it's possible."

"No," Jeremy interrupted. "It's not. I talked to Ric's _ghost_. If he was dead, then that means Elena was dead."

Meredith fell back against her chair. "Right." She sighed roughly.

Bonnie stood up from her spot on the couch, starting to pace around the room. She rubbed her forehead for a second, stopped pacing, then turned back toward the rest of them. "Not necessarily." She turned to Meredith. "The idea of brain death…that's relatively new, right?"

Meredith nodded.

Bonnie smiled. "So, Esther was doing magic similar to the Original spell. Sure, it had the new twist of tying Ric's lifespan to Elena's, but it was still based on _ancient_ magic… back when people were dead when they _looked _dead, not because they were brain dead..."

A grin spread across Stefan's face, before it promptly fell. "But how can we be sure? No one knows the spell, and it's not like Esther left behind a grimoire."

Bonnie shook her head. "I don't know. I don't think we'll ever know, but…does it really matter?"

Jeremy stood. "No. You know what, it doesn't. You know what matters? Elena is not going to turn. That's all that matters. We don't need to know why. Hell, a lot of things have happened in our lives that we can't fully explain, and most of those things have _sucked_. Rather than focusing on why she's not going to turn, how about we just accept this as the most likely reason and _freaking celebrate_, already?"

Matt whooped, clapping his hands as if at a sporting event. Caroline shot everyone a radiant smile, and Stefan took a couple quick steps toward Elena and wrapped his arms around her. The only one who didn't really react was Elena. She sat there in a daze; she wasn't quite ready to believe it yet.

But, more than that, she realized that a little part of her was disappointed. Not because she was still alive; no, she was happy about that. She was disappointed by the _timing_ of the realization that she wouldn't turn. It would have been even more of a celebration if…if _he_ were here to celebrate too.

* * *

Thank you to all the people who have reviewed, who are following, or who marked it as a favorite! I really appreciate it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 3/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 3**

* * *

"I promise you, I will never leave you again." – _Damon, "The Reckoning" (3x5)_

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fire." – _Francois de La Rochefoucauld_

* * *

Elena slowly awoke the next morning, aware of where she was but not yet ready to open her eyes. After the impromptu celebration for her continued humanity, they had all gotten to bed late. It seemed like next to no time had passed since then and now. With a stifled groan, Elena turned over in bed, only to find her head and hand land on a strong chest.

Truthfully, it didn't really bother her that much anymore; he had sprawled out next to her enough times when they were trying to save Stefan that it seemed _normal_ to have him in her bed now. Granted, she was surprised that he did so this morning, after their phone conversation last night. She figured he'd wait at least, oh, a week or so. The fact that he hadn't waited surprised her, but it relieved her too; she hadn't lost him…

But, since she knew he was expecting it, she let out an exasperated growl. Tradition, and all that.

"Gee," Stefan's teasing voice caused her eyes to open in surprise. "You sure know how to make a guy feel welcome."

Using the hand that was on his chest, she pushed herself up to a sitting position while he grunted at the pressure. "Stefan!" Running a hand through her hair, she tried to regain her composure, mentally berating herself for even needing to do so. She loved Stefan. She even sort of remembered tiredly telling him that she wanted him to stay last night. It shouldn't feel so …_abnormal…_ to have him in her bed.

Giving her head a slight shake, Elena told herself it was time to get their relationship back on track. She loved him, after all. She had _chosen_ him…

Leaning forward, she gave him a deep, slow kiss. His hand reached up to cup the back of her head. She forced thoughts of Damon out of her head and focused solely on Stefan, letting her body remember what it was like to be close with him. A few moments later, as his other hand skimmed down her side and then back up, under her tank top, she let herself get carried away by the feelings he inspired. She loved Stefan. She had never stopped loving him. It was time to finally enjoy that she had him back.

* * *

Going downstairs hand-in-hand with Stefan, Elena saw that the others, who had decided to crash there instead of driving home, were all awake too. They looked as tired as she had been when she first woke up. Matt and Caroline stood by the kitchen counter, staring forward with glazed looks in their eyes as the coffee percolated. Jeremy sat at the table, his head resting on his forearms. Only Meredith, sitting at the other end of the table, looked like she had some spark in her eyes, probably a result of her experience operating on little sleep while in med school.

"Morning." Elena said, and Meredith smiled in return.

"Ugh," Bonnie groaned from her seat on the couch, before allowing herself to fall sideways into a half-lying position that looked decidedly uncomfortable. Elena chuckled.

The coffee finished brewing, and Matt poured some for all of them. Elena sat next to Jeremy, who finally lifted his head. "I think," she said softly, "we should pay our respects…again…to Alaric this morning." The others nodded. "Jeremy, do you know where he was buried."

"Uh," Jeremy glanced at Meredith, uncomfortable. He cleared his throat. "Damon was going to arrange for him to be buried next to Jenna."

Meredith smiled sadly but waved her hand dismissively. "Of course. That's the perfect spot."

Elena looked down at her coffee cup, trying hard to appear nonchalant. After her morning with Stefan, she really shouldn't be feeling a nervous flutter in her stomach about asking this question. It was a perfectly natural question to ask. "Anybody know where Damon is? I, uh, figured that he'd show up by now."

Jeremy jerked his head backward, his brow furrowing in confusion and a little bit of shock. "Huh."

"What?"

"It's just…um, last night, when he came to tell me about Alaric…"

"Yeah?"

"He said – what did he say? He said," Jeremy adopted a voice that was clearly supposed to mimic Damon but with a slightly mocking tone. Elena smiled slightly, wondering if the two would ever admit that they actually kind of liked each other. "He left town and he's not coming back. You shouldn't look for him or worry about him. You'll miss him, but you'll know it's for the best."

Elena's smile had dropped as soon as she recognized the words, and her stomach clenched as the words sunk in. _Left town…_

The others were staring at Jeremy in shock. Only Matt was looking at Elena. Knowing what Damon meant to Elena and having overheard at least her end of the conversation with him last night, Matt knew that she must be hurting right now, even if she was doing a relatively good job of keeping the emotion from her face.

Jeremy ran a hand over his forehead, talking more to himself than to anyone else when he said, "Why didn't I tell you guys that last night?"

"Because," Stefan answered from where he was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyes clouded by annoyance and a hint of sorrow, "he didn't want you to. You were compelled. He must have wanted time to do what he needed to do before we started wondering."

Elena chose not to tell him that she had been wondering last night but had been too worried about hurting him to ask then.

Stefan pulled out his phone and hit a button. Elena watched, trying to hide her impatience for Damon to pick up. A few seconds later, Stefan made a face and hung up.

"Well," she said, clearing her throat and ignoring the disappointment in her heart. "We'll just have to deal with that later. Alaric first…"

* * *

After Alaric's second funeral, the group split up, but Elena, Bonnie and Caroline stayed together. Caroline had broken down at the funeral, and her friends knew that it was really due to her grief for Tyler. Sitting on Elena's couch, Elena rubbed Caroline's shoulder and softly murmured words of comfort as Caroline cried. Bonnie was oddly silent, her face unreadable.

Eventually the tears staggered to a stop, and Caroline wiped at her eyes, sniffling. "He told me to tell his mom that he had left town, as we had planned. I don't know if I can do that. She should _know_…"

"You have to worry about your own safety right now, Caroline," Bonnie said a little too forcefully. "Don't worry about Tyler or his mom. The Council _knows_ about you. What are we going to do about that?"

Elena frowned. "I don't know. But for now, we have to keep you out of sight."

Caroline nodded. "I can't go home, obviously. But I don't particularly want to _live_ in the old Lockwood ruins either."

"Well," Elena shrugged. "We know where there's a lot of extra bedrooms."

* * *

Elena drove Caroline to the boarding house, as her friend played with the strap of her overnight bag. She looked like she wasn't really thinking about anything, but when she finally spoke, her comment proved that to be untrue. "You know this is only a temporary solution, right?"

"I know. We'll figure something out."

Caroline turned to look at her friend, a little bit of fear in her eyes. "I don't want to leave town. Not by myself."

Elena took her eyes off the road for a second, giving her friend a small smile. She reached her hand out and clasped Caroline's. "We'll figure something out," she repeated, this time with a resolute certainty she didn't quite feel.

Pulling into the drive, Elena shut off the car and got out. Stefan was leaning against the frame of the open doorway, arms crossed and a welcoming smile on his face. As the two girls walked up to him, he pushed himself up to a standing position and moved his arm in a sweeping gesture toward the foyer. "Make yourself at home."

Caroline led the way in. Elena smiled and caught her boyfriend's eyes, trailing a hand across his chest as she walked past him into the house.

"The one over in the east wing is probably the nicest one, after ours. It was the one that Zach used, though, if that would make you fell weird."

Turning to face him, Caroline shot him a brilliant smile. Holding her bag's strap with both hands, she shook her head and shrugged. "No, that would be fine. Thank you so much."

Stefan nodded, feeling strangely as if they were all behaving with the stiff, polite mannerisms of his youth. "I'll leave you alone to get settled then." He smiled at both of them and went back to his room, where he had been writing in his journal when Elena called. Grabbing the journal, he re-read the half-written entry, still not sure how to put everything that happened into words. Klaus's death and the mixed feelings of fear and a small bit of relief he had at the thought that he might die too as a result of being from his bloodline. Elena's death and awakening and the equally mixed feelings of grief and happiness at the thought that she would transition. Then, her lack of transitioning. It was all too much. But, oddly, the hardest parts to write about were Damon's disappearance and the fact that he said he wasn't coming back.

Did that mean…_ever?_

Stefan wouldn't be so worried about it if his brother would just answer the damn phone. He had tried several times since separating from the rest of them after Alaric's funeral, but it just rang and rang and rang before being picked up by voicemail. He had left increasingly desperate messages.

Before, the thought of Damon no longer being in his life would have been welcome, after all the fighting and guilt and anger between them. But now… Now it was the worst thing that he could imagine. He was reminded of how he felt when he was first turned, when the prospect of facing an eternity alone without Damon made him do the _terrible_ thing he did.

What made this time even worse, though, was the knowledge that it was his fault. He had caused it by offering to leave town first. Damon would never have made the same promise, if Stefan hadn't brought it up…

He tossed the journal away from him.

* * *

Elena stood in the doorway of what would, hopefully temporarily, be Caroline's bedroom. Caroline walked further into the room, glancing around at the open layout, the massive bed, the luxurious bathroom, the fireplace. She turned to look back at Elena with a grin, waggling her eyebrows. "Maybe this hiding out thing won't be so bad."

Elena laughed, then watched as her friend opened her bag and started to take out clothes. Neither talked as Caroline became engrossed in her task and Elena felt curiosity tugging her in another direction. Sparing a quick glance at her friend, who didn't even seem to realize she was still there, she slipped away and wandered to Damon's bedroom, which had become almost as familiar as her own. Looking around, she saw that his bed was rumpled, as if something had been sitting on the foot of it. One bureau drawer was still slightly open, and the pile of books next to his bed seemed a little smaller than she remembered. She walked into the bathroom, but nothing seemed off there. She paused for a second, closing her eyes as she breathed in deeply at the hint of his soap on the air.

Clearing her throat, she walked slowly around the room, looking for any clues. When nothing caught her eye, she sat on the bed with a sigh. Looking toward the window, she didn't notice at first when Stefan walked into the room behind her.

"What are you doing in here?" Stefan's voice was flat, not revealing any emotion or accusation at all, but Elena still jumped in guilt.

Leaping off the bed, she turned to face her boyfriend. "Ummm. I was looking for anything that might tell us where he is." She felt like she didn't know what to do with her hands, as they seemed to flutter in nervousness as she talked. "So that we can go get him and drag his ass back here."

Stefan crossed his arms and looked to the side, not willing to let her see the loss he was feeling. "Elena, I know him. If he doesn't want to be found, we're not going to be able to find him."

"Well, we have to at least _try_, Stefan!" Elena insisted, desperation seeping into her voice.

The anger that Stefan felt at himself for making Damon feel like he had to leave morphed into anger at her. It was almost easier that way…

"Why, Elena?" He practically shouted at her.

She reeled back, a little shocked at the anger in his voice. Face crunching in confusion, she answered, "I told you…at the house." She hesitated, then continued. "This is why I didn't want to choose. I didn't want to lose _either_ of you."

Stefan's face clouded. "You had to know that you would."

Elena crossed her own arms, reflecting his posture. But, while his voice had anger in it, her tone was hurt. "But he promised….he _promised_ he would never leave me!"

Stefan stared stonily at her for a moment. "You don't get to have it both ways, Elena. Do you think you made the wrong choice or something?"

"No!" She answered a little too quickly, then started walking toward him. "No, it's not like that. I love you, Stefan."

She stopped in front of him, grabbing his forearm and looking into his eyes. She couldn't quite figure out why he was so angry. She wanted him to believe what she was saying, even though she couldn't quite help the flash of doubt that went through her when he asked the question. She suppressed it though, looking earnestly into his eyes, which still weren't giving anything away. She knew him well enough to know that he was only angry because he was hurting, but she didn't think his hurt truly had anything to do with her or her choice.

Before, she would have been able to get Stefan to open up and actually talk to her about what was going on. But now…she didn't know _how_ _to… _So she just stood there, hoping he would calm down on his own and let her know what he was really feeling. What he did, though, was take a step back from her.

"It's been a rough couple of days. Let's just both get some rest."

He stood there, clearly not going to say anything more. She sighed, stepped around him, and walked away, leaving him standing alone in Damon's bedroom. On her way out of the boarding house, she walked past Caroline's room. The blonde was standing in the doorway, thumbs resting in her back pockets. She raised an eyebrow in question, and Elena knew immediately that she had overheard everything with her vampire hearing. Elena just held her hand out in a "stop" gesture, and continued out. She didn't have any answers about what had happened.

And she certainly didn't have any answers about what she was feeling.

* * *

Thanks for all the feedback! I really appreciate it. For those of you who asked questions about whether Elena was going to turn eventually, I had a note about that at the start of the story. In case you missed it, I'll repeat it here:

**Note: **Yes, I know it's going to happen, but I kind of actually _hate_ the idea of Elena being a vampire on the show (at least this early into it), so my story is going to have that not be the case. I don't know if my explanation for this (in chapter 2) is medically or magically possible. Just go with it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 4/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 4**

* * *

"That was weird. When I touched you, I saw a crow." – _Bonnie, "Pilot" (1x1)_

"The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up." _– Unknown_

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships-the ones that last- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is...suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."  
_- Dana Scully (The X-Files)_

* * *

The next morning, Elena walked into her bedroom from the bathroom, towel-drying her hair. She stopped short when she saw Stefan sitting on her bed, his hands clasped and eyes downcast. When she moved again, he looked up to meet her with soulful eyes. He opened his mouth as if to talk, closed it again and exhaled through his nose before smiling sadly.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he finally said softly.

Elena stared at him for a second, hand frozen with the towel still in her hair. She walked over and sat on the bed next to him, bringing her feet up to curl her legs off to her side.

"Me too."

"I didn't mean to…" Stefan hesitated, avoiding her eyes. He took a deep breath and started over. "I know you have feelings for Damon. I…will _try_ to not let that affect me anymore."

Elena stared at his shoulder, her mind racing. She felt _incredibly _guilty. She knew it wasn't fair to either Damon or Stefan to have these conflicting feelings. She couldn't put them – or herself – through this anymore. When she had made her choice, she had told Damon that she couldn't think about "always". But…neither could she continue to let herself think about a hypothetically different future. She made her choice, and she owed it to herself and to Stefan to truly to commit to that choice. She took a deep breath and exhaled, gathering strength. She told Damon that she had to let him go, and that's what she had to do now.

She caught Stefan's eyes. "I chose you, Stefan. I know…that my feelings for Damon hurt you. And I'm sorry for that." She lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. "I can't change the past. But…you're right, he's gone. And I _love you_. Nothing's going to change that. And if you can forgive me, then I…I can forget about him."

Stefan searched her eyes, then wordlessly pulled her into his arms. Elena looked over his shoulder, blinking back tears. She didn't know if what she told him – that she could forget – was the truth. The _what if_ of Damon might always haunt her, but she promised herself that Stefan would never know that. Any regrets, any doubts, that she had would be hers to suffer through alone. But she would _try _to forget, and hopefully someday, the feelings she had for Damon, the ones she could never quite name even to herself, would fade into a tenderness that she could look back upon as something that had given her strength when she had felt weak and hope when she had felt hopeless.

But what she had wanted to happen for so long finally happened: Stefan had left behind the bloodlust to come back to her. So, if it took a little bit longer for her to leave behind Damon and go back to Stefan, well…that was something he didn't need to know about.

"I love you, Stefan," she said again.

* * *

_Four Months Later_

Elena woke, the tendrils of her dream slipping out of her mind's grasp but not quickly enough to forget completely. It was not the first time she had dreamt of Damon since he had left, but fortunately the dreams were not frequent enough to truly cause problems. At first she had wondered if Damon was coming back to Mystic Falls semi-regularly, slipping into her room at night and giving her the dreams as he had given Rose her dream. Ultimately she knew that wasn't the case, though; they were far too PG-rated for that.

Running a hand through her hair, she sighed and sat up. It was time to get ready. It was a good thing she was a senior because the tedium of school was getting _old_. But at least it kept her mind off things.

After school, Bonnie and Elena drove to the boarding house. It was time for their end-of-the-week gossip fest with Caroline, who claimed she was going insane stuck hiding from the Council for so long. Stefan walked with her in the forest almost every night, and the others visited as often as possible, but for the social butterfly, it was still torture. And, while Elena was getting tired of school, Caroline would complain about how much she was missing it; she would rail against the unfairness of her life, asking why she had to miss out on everything – children, aging, even graduation. So, about a month into her forced confinement, Elena and Bonnie had come up with the idea of the gossip fests. They would come over with junk food, Stefan would make himself scarce for a couple hours, and they would fill Caroline in on the juicy details of who was cheating on whom, who was getting busted for underage drinking, and most importantly to Caroline, who was asking about her and what was being asked. The cover story was that she went to live with family members in Richmond since it was no secret that she and her mom fought a lot – or at least they used to. Caroline, of course, was humiliated, thinking that people assumed she was pregnant or something, but Elena and Bonnie promised to squelch any negative rumors.

The girls grabbed the food and drinks, heading straight up to Caroline's room. Even though they had the whole boarding house to themselves, they usually hung out in there. The house seemed too museum-like to feel truly comfortable lounging around and eating Cheetos. Over the months, however, Caroline had made her bedroom more like a teenage girl's than a room of antiques. Pop songs blared out of the iPod; nail polish, framed pictures and fashion magazines covered the flat surfaces; clothes were strewn over the chair in the corner.

Liz had slowly smuggled many of the items over to the house since having found out that her daughter was still in town. They had told her almost right away, after making her promise not to tell Carol. Caroline hadn't wanted her mother to worry, but she wanted to keep her promise to Tyler regarding his mother. Liz reluctantly agreed, saying that if it had been Caroline she would want to know, but Stefan ultimately convinced her by pointing out that the fewer people who knew Caroline was still in town, the better.

When Elena and Bonnie walked into the room, Caroline clapped her hands together and let out a little cheer. "I have been looking forward to this _all day_." Elena and Bonnie laughed, before taking their usual spots sitting cross-legged on Caroline's massive bed. Caroline bounced into position next to them, grabbing one of the sodas and popping it open. "Give me the best stuff first!" They talked for an hour or so, relishing in the sound of Caroline's happy giggles and shocked gasps, but they soon ran out of anything thing new to report.

Elena laid back against one of the pillows, a hand on her stomach. "I'm so full!"

From her position, she missed the look that passed between Caroline and Bonnie.

"So, Elena…" Caroline said in a drawling voice, attempting nonchalance but failing. Elena lifted her head up slightly to shoot her a confused look. "What's up with you?"

Elena's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" Her voice sounded strained from speaking in that position.

"Come on, Elena," Bonnie took a turn. "We've been best friends for _how_ long? Do you really think you're fooling us?"

Elena sat back up. "What are you talking about? Fooling you about what?"

Caroline and Bonnie looked at each other again.

"Well…" Caroline continued. "It's just that these last couple of months, you've been acting odd. Like…_too_ happy."

"Why shouldn't I be happy?" Elena spread her arms out, getting a little defensive. "Jeremy's doing great. Stefan and I are doing great. No one is trying to kill me this week!"

"Yeah," Bonnie interrupted. "And how's Damon doing?"

Any retort Elena might have made stuck in her throat. She pursed her lips together for a second, then replied stiffly, "I'm sure that wherever he is, he's doing great too."

Caroline sighed loudly, exasperated. "Elena! We are your friends. We know that he meant something to you. You can't tell us that you don't still think about him. I see how you always glance around when you come here, even when both Stefan and I are already with you. You're still hoping he'll show up, aren't you?"

Elena averted her eyes. She thought about how hard it had been the last couple of months keeping her struggles to herself. It had been so much more difficult to forget about Damon than she had thought it would be. She had managed to keep it from Stefan, she was sure of that, but she still thought about Damon several times a day. And she couldn't even escape him at night, thanks to the dreams. She hadn't been able to bring herself to talk about it with _anyone_ either, not just Stefan. She really didn't know if she would have ever talked about it, if Bonnie and Caroline hadn't brought it up. But, now that they had, there was no holding back. Her face scrunched up and tears sprung to her eyes. Wiping furiously at them, she finally started talking.

"I miss him. OK? I miss him."

As one, Bonnie and Caroline reached for her hands, each grabbing and squeezing one to offer moral support. With her eyes brimming over with tears, she missed the triumphant expressions on their faces that indicated they had been planning what they called their Damon Intervention for a long time.

With those words out, the rest came out as if a dam had broken. Elena told them about the phone conversation the night she had drowned, how the kiss at the motel had made her feel, her overwhelming guilt for still feeling this way when she had chosen Stefan, how she loved Stefan but couldn't stop thinking about Damon, the betrayal she felt when she found out that Damon had left after promising not to, her desperate need to not hurt Stefan with this because she couldn't lose _both_ of them. She knew she was rambling, jumping to different topics at an alarmingly fast rate. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked back and forth at her friends, who offered small, encouraging smiles, nods and noncommittal noises.

Elena paused for a second, then let out a wry chuckle. She looked at Bonnie. "And you know what's really weird? You want to know what I find myself thinking about the most?"

Bonnie scrunched up her face in confusion. "What?"

"You remember when Stefan first came to town and you were talking about being psychic. You touched me and said you saw a crow?"

Bonnie nodded. "Yeah?"

"Well, I don't know if I ever told you this, but when I saw Stefan later, there was a crow. I was convinced for the longest time that…that was a _sign_ or something. Like we were meant to be together. But the thing is, which I never really thought about until these last few months, there was a crow when I met Damon too."

Bonnie gave her a look. "Elena, we don't know _anything_ about what that meant. I mean, that could have even been a warning to _stay away_ from men near crows!"

Elena threw her hands up in the air. "I know! I didn't say it made sense. It's just what I've been thinking about." She hesitated, once again avoiding their eyes. "And then there are the dreams…"

Caroline cocked an eyebrow, back in gossip-fest mode. "Dreams, huh? I bet hearing that would made Damon happy."

Elena smiled through her tears. "Not that kind of dreams," she laughed.

"Well, then what?"

"It's strange…I mean, they're definitely dreams. But the dreams are more like memories of things that happened. One time I dreamt about the kiss at the motel, but every other time, it's just been…the little things. Goofing off in the kitchen while making dinner, sitting on the couch with my feet in his lap, playing little games on our road trips. Things like that. Well, and one really strange, quick flash of a dream where we were standing in the middle of the road right before my parents picked me up the night they died, but most of them were things that really happened.

"Anyway…these dreams or memories or whatever they are, I don't think they're going to stop. I mean, maybe if I just knew where he was or that he's OK. The fact that I didn't get to say goodbye…how could he just leave without at least saying goodbye?"

She looked at her friends desperately, but they could only shrug their shoulders. They couldn't answer that question any more than she could.

But, having finally said that question out loud, Elena realized that that was the thing that bothered her the most. Friends didn't _do _things like that to each other.

And that's when she realized something else too: Stefan…he had never been her friend. He went from being the mysterious new stranger, to the boyfriend, to the estranged boyfriend, and back to the boyfriend again. But they were never really _friends_. But Damon…Damon had been her friend. She never would have expected that when she had first met him, but somewhere along the way, he had gotten under her skin. And it was from _that_ that her feelings had grown. Yes, she missed the way Damon flirted with her, even while he antagonized and annoyed her. She missed the way he challenged her and smirked at her and teased her. Sometimes she even missed when he tried to control her to keep her safe. But, more than all that, she missed his companionship, the joking around and the light-heartedness that made her forget for a moment all the danger she faced. Stefan was brave and good and loved her. And she loved him; she wasn't lying when she told Damon that she never un-fell for Stefan. But her relationship with Stefan was always intense, whether it was the good intensity of when they first got together or the bad intensity of trying to get him to feel again after Klaus compelled him to turn off his switch. But, even lately when there had fortunately been no real troubles other than keeping Caroline hidden, it was rare that they actually laughed together. Laughing with Damon had never really been an issue…

She sat quietly as this new realization sunk in, as she tried to figure out what it all _meant._ Caroline and Bonnie were watching her curiously, knowing she was thinking about something important. She could tell them this as well; after all, she had just spilled her guts about everything else. But this was…too raw. And too confusing. She had to think about it for a little while.

Caroline cleared her throat. "I don't really know how to ask this. I don't want you to be mad or anything."

Elena shook her head. "What?"

"Do you…Do you think you feel this way because it's _Damon_ who's gone? Or do you think you would feel this way about Stefan if you had chosen Damon and Stefan was the one to leave instead?"

Elena stared straight ahead for a long time. Bonnie and Caroline began to think she wasn't going to answer. Finally, softly, Elena replied, "I don't know.

* * *

Later that evening, after Stefan had returned and Bonnie had left, they were downstairs in the living room. Elena was curled up under Stefan's arm on the sofa, and Caroline was sitting in the high-backed chair near them. They were all pretty tired, sitting in silence and mesmerized by the flickering flames in the fireplace.

The doorbell chimed, making them all jerk and turn to look at the front door in surprise. Stefan stood to go answer it, while Caroline rushed to hide in the library, in case it was someone who shouldn't see that she was still in town. Elena relaxed when he opened the door and moved to let Liz in, but when she saw Liz's face, she tensed up again.

Caroline came back out into the living room and hugged her mom, who absent-mindedly and wearily squeezed her in return. They all knew that Liz's job had been incredibly difficult lately, as had Carol's. The Council hadn't made them give up their jobs, as they didn't want to indicate to the rest of Mystic Falls that anything was going on, but they watched the two women closely. Some of the Council members who were closer friends with them had started to hesitantly speak up in meetings, questioning what the others would have done if they were in the same position, but many of them were still too stubbornly prejudiced about vampires for those overtures to accomplish anything. Unfortunately, they all drank vervain on a regular basis, so there was no way to make them forget what Alaric had told them.

"We found a body tonight," Liz announced without any warning or pleasantries.

Elena groaned and flopped back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. She just _had_ to make that comment about no one trying to kill her lately, didn't she?

Liz looked at Caroline. "Some of them are convinced it's you, that you've come back to Mystic Falls. They don't want to entertain the possibility that it's yet another unknown vampire." Caroline growled in frustration. "But it's worse than that. You know how I had told you some of them were talking about bringing in a witch to help with Council affairs? How they tried to justify it by saying that a witch was no different than using one of Jonathan Gilbert's devices, just a means to an end?"

The others nodded slowly, already knowing what she was about to say.

"She'll be here in a week. She's apparently a relative of Luka Martin and his dad. Caroline, I don't know if it's safe for you anymore, even hidden away here…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 5/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 5**

* * *

"There's a reason it's called a curse, Tyler." – _Caroline, "The Sacrifice" (2x10)_

"The course of true love never did run smooth." _– William Shakespeare_

* * *

The week passed quickly, with Liz begging her daughter to leave town almost every day. Caroline stubbornly refused, saying that after months of staying hidden, she was ready for a little action. Stefan and Bonnie tried to make Liz feel better, confidently saying that, between Stefan's vampire abilities and Bonnie's magical ones, they were more than a match for any witch the Council could get to do their dirty work. They had, after all, faced down an entire family of Original Vampires and lived to tell the tale – or at least most of them had lived.

Elena tried to share their confidence, but she couldn't shake the little voice in her head reminding her that other enemies had been faced with help from a vampire-werewolf hybrid, a hunter with a ring that prevented him from dying, and a vampire who was willing to make morally ambiguous decisions when the situation called for it. The old team was no longer intact, and this new one had never been tested.

Then, something strange happened: the week came to a close with no unusual events or dangers. They had all been tense and on edge, waiting for any sign that an attack was imminent. Liz had not been able to provide them with any more information, as the Council was keeping any further plans from her and Carol. The initial warning had come from another member of the Council who had been sympathetic to their situation, but she was too worried for her own family's safety to meet with them again, now that the rest of the Council was being so secretive. Because of that secrecy, it was clear that the witch was still coming, but now that the week was over, they had no idea when to expect her. A couple more days passed, and the restless tension naturally increased, in part due to the uncertainty of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

* * *

Liz stared at her computer screen, attempting to do some of the endless paperwork that accompanied her job, but really just lost in her thoughts. Frankly, the paperwork just didn't seem that important anymore, not when she no longer felt that she had any real power in the city. It was easier, back when she didn't know that vampires could be good and she willingly helped the Council hide the truth from the residents she was sworn to protect. But now, things weren't so black and white anymore. Her ideas of what it meant to protect the city no longer meshed with the Council's, and unfortunately, the Council members were the ones who were really in charge. She couldn't truly fight back because they were embedded in every aspect of the city's government, infrastructure and business. She didn't even know if her deputies would back her or them. Every day, she was tempted to go to Caroline and offer to leave town with her, go off somewhere and start over. She knew that Caroline would be more likely to do it, if she didn't have to leave by herself, and clearly there wasn't really anything left for Liz in Mystic Falls.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it; she couldn't shake the fear that, if she left, something horrible would happen because she wasn't there to stand up against the Council.

A knock on her open office door snapped her out of her thoughts, and she looked up to see a girl standing there with a bubbly smile on her face, wearing one of the cheerleading uniforms that had once been such a familiar sight in her house. "Sheriff Forbes?"

"Yes?"

"Hi! I'm soooo sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

Liz couldn't help but smile at the girl's enthusiastic energy. The girl reminded her so much of Caroline, except she seemed ditzier than her daughter. "What can I do for you?"

The girl stepped into the room, quickly taking one of the visitors' chairs, leaning forward eagerly. "I don't know if you remember me, Sheriff. My name is Cindy; I'm on the cheerleading squad." She pointed at her uniform with a "_duh" _expression on her face, clearly a little embarrassed at making such an obvious statement.

Honestly, Liz hadn't really paid much attention to the people in Caroline's high school life, but she didn't want the girl to feel bad. "Of course, Cindy. How are you?"

"I'm _great_, thank you! It's almost my birthday, after all!"

Liz smiled again. "Well, happy birthday, Cindy! Better enjoy it. When you get to my age, they're not as much fun," she joked. Cindy let out a shrill peal of laughter.

"Oh, Sheriff, you're not old! You're in so much better shape than _my_ mother…" This time it was Liz's turn to chuckle.

"Well, anyway, I don't want to take up your time. I'm sure you're really busy. But, like I said it's my birthday and my parents are letting me have some people over. Caroline was such a help to me when I first joined the squad. I couldn't _imagine_ not having her there! Maybe she would like to come back, see some of her old friends?" Cindy looked at Liz with such a hopeful expression on her face that it almost broke Liz's heart. It was nice to know that Caroline had people who missed her.

"I don't know if she will be able to…" Liz started to say, as the girl's face dropped and her shoulders stooped in dejection. "But I can certainly let her know about it."

Cindy immediately perked back up. "Oh, thank you, Sheriff!" She dug into her purse, one of the massive ones that had recently came into fashion and had enough room to carry absolutely everything that a high school girl considered to be essential. She pulled out a pink envelope and Liz caught sight of Caroline's name written in a sprawling cursive with a little heart over the i. Liz suppressed an eyeroll, grateful that Caroline chose to be true friends with girls like Elena and Bonnie instead of girls like this.

Cindy stood and leaned over the desk. She put the invitation down on the desk and reached out to squeeze Liz's wrist affectionately. She shot Liz a wide grin and said goodbye, flouncing out of the room.

Liz just shook her head and smiled for a second. Her eyes fell on the invitation, and the smile turned into a melancholic one. She couldn't help but feel sadness at the thought that her daughter was missing out on so much, partly because she was concealed away but also because she was no longer alive. She may not have really _liked_ her daughter for a while there, but she couldn't help but wish that Caroline didn't have anything to worry about but cheerleading, school and her next birthday party.

She sighed, picked up the envelope, and tossed it into her garbage can.

* * *

"Are you going to be OK until I get back?"

"Yes!" Caroline said airily, waving her hand at him from her bedroom floor, where she was curled up painting her toenails. "Say hi to Elena for me!"

For the last couple of days, Stefan had been extra vigilant, afraid to let her leave his sight out of fear that that's when the attack would happen, but he was equally afraid for Elena's safety given that she was always a prime target whenever there was a new threat in town. He went to check on her – and to say goodnight – every night. Normally he would wait for Bonnie to get there and wait with Caroline, but Bonnie was with Jeremy that evening, searching the grimoires they had stolen from the Martins' home. Stefan had been unsure about whether he should go that evening, but Caroline had insisted she would be perfectly fine on her own for a little while.

Primarily because overprotective Stefan could also be a little bit…_overbearing._

Stefan hesitated. "Just go already!" Caroline exclaimed in exasperation, looking up at him and shooing him with the hand that held the nail polish brush. "I'll be fine!"

He held up his hands in a defensive motion and smirked. "OK. I'll be back almost right away. It'll just be a quick visit tonight."

Caroline nodded, already resuming her previous task. She finished up her last toe about five minutes after Stefan had left. Putting the cap back on the bottle, she waited until the polish dried, removed the toe separators, and pulled herself to a standing position. Her stomach rumbled with hunger, and she started to head downstairs to get some blood…with a chaser of high-end alcohol. Damon would be pissed that she'd been using his alcohol to make "girly" drinks, but well, he wasn't there to stop her, she thought with a smirk.

Humming softly to herself, she walked a few steps past the front door, paused, and then walked backward. She turned slightly to fully take in the sight of a teenage girl sitting on the couch. The girl smirked, uncrossed her legs and stood. Caroline turned completely, facing her straight on and crossing her arms, trying to hide the spark of fear that coursed through her with a show of bravado.

"Hello, Caroline…"

"_You're_ the witch?" Caroline asked in an incredulous, mocking tone. "And to think we were actually considering you to be a threat!"

The girl took a step closer. She lifted her hand and twisted it, causing Caroline to drop to the floor, clutching her head and crying out in pain. Tears sprung to her eyes. She tried to fight against the piercing stabs in her brain, knowing that no one was there to help her. The witch walked over and crouched by her side.

"You have _no idea_ how big of a threat I am," she snarled. "You and your little friends think you're so untouchable, don't you? Like you can do anything you want to? Well, not anymore…You're all going to _pay _for what you did to my cousin and uncle. I could kill you _right now_ if I wanted to, but I'd rather make you suffer."

The girl started chanting in Latin, and Caroline shrieked and started writhing on the floor. The pain was now shooting throughout her entire body. It was over in a few minutes, and the witch was out the front door right after, leaving Caroline still on the floor sobbing and worrying about what the spell meant. She still felt pain, but it was no longer excruciating. Breathing heavily, she slowly rolled over onto her hands and knees. That action wiped her out, and she had to stop for almost a full minute to gather her strength. Crawling over to the couch, she used it to help her stand. A wave of dizziness washed over her, and she had the gut-wrenching realization that she was going to faint. She was vaguely aware of the front door opening, but was unconscious by the time she landed in Stefan's arms.

* * *

By the time Caroline regained consciousness, Elena, Stefan, Matt and Bonnie were all there, crowded around her bed and watching her anxiously.

"Well, this isn't creepy or anything," she said in a strained voice. Matt and Stefan smiled, and Bonnie reached out to grab her hand.

"What happened?" Elena asked for all of them.

Caroline pushed herself up, and Matt moved to prop pillows behind her. She told them the story, pausing occasionally to take sips of blood from the cup that Stefan handed to her. She felt stronger already and was beginning to think that maybe the spell was just designed to play mind games.

And that's when she started coughing up the blood she had just drunk.

* * *

They had decided to divide and conquer; Elena and Jeremy dug through the grimoires, looking for anything that could be responsible for the symptoms that had been plaguing Caroline for the last couple of days. Bonnie and Stefan, meanwhile, searched Mystic Falls for any sign of the witch, and Matt and Liz stayed with Caroline as much as their jobs and school allowed.

She was in and out of consciousness, unable to keep any blood down and clearly getting weaker by the day. Elena was oddly reminded of Damon's brush with death after the werewolf bite. She had felt helpless and scared then, too. The only difference was, this time she didn't have him with her to talk to.

She and Jeremy were at the Grill, both of them too exhausted from reading the grimoires to make anything for dinner. Elena looked up as she saw Matt walk in, and they nodded at each other across the room. He looked as tired as she felt, and she knew that, in many ways, he and Liz had the hardest job of all of them; they had to sit there and watch Caroline deteriorate.

* * *

Caroline felt like she was swimming up through a haze and finally opened her eyes to see the blurry shape of someone sitting next to her bed.

"Matt?" She groaned, blinking in an attempt to see him more clearly.

"Nope," said the person, leaning closer. "It's me."

"Tyler?!" She forced herself up onto her elbows. "I…I don't understand."

He softly smiled at her, reaching a hand out to push back a strand of hair that was sticking to her forehead from the sweat caused by her illness. Caroline fell back again, spent of her strength just from that minimal effort. She raised a hand to rub at her forehead. "I must be hallucinating."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Yeah, you're hallucinating. I'm not here."

Caroline closed her eyes, but she was still awake. "I miss you, Tyler."

He was silent for a little while, then she heard him say, "I wish I could help you, Caroline. If I was in my body, maybe my blood would heal you. But, in this body..."

She shook her head slightly. "What?"

"Never mind. Just rest." She heard the rustle of him standing up. "I'll get her for you."

Caroline mumbled something incoherent in response, falling back asleep. He watched her for a moment, then rushed out of the open window. Klaus had heard about Caroline from Bonnie, who had left a Hail Mary text message on Tyler's phone in case Klaus still had it and knew of anything from his long, long life that could help. He had come back as soon as he was able to. He hadn't wanted to leave Mystic Falls without the Doppelganger – or Caroline, for that matter – but he had to leave while he was in Tyler's body. It was too dangerous with the Council knowing about Tyler. He left town to look for a witch who might be able to help him get his body back. When he heard about Caroline, though, he put his search on hold, determined to help her if he could and avenge her if he couldn't.

His next stop was Founders Hall. He quickly made his way across the grounds, thankful that it was not an event night – fewer people, no exterior lights. He listened closely with his sensitive ears, smiling when he heard several voices talking in a room nearby; he was in luck. Klaus rushed to the window of the room, crouching down.

"I've taken care of the vampire," said a female.

"Where's the body? We won't pay you without proof."

He heard several screams. When they died down, the female spoke again. "You were saying?"

"Here! Just take your money and go."

"I'm afraid I have a little more business to take care of in town."

Klaus listened as the door to the room opened and closed. He rushed over to hide in the shadows just outside the main entrance. A few moments later, a young African-American girl walked out, still putting on her coat. Behind her in a flash, Klaus grabbed her and dragged her into the shadows.

"How do I stop it?" He growled in her ear.

The witch laughed, even though he could tell from her pounding heart that she was afraid. "You're not going to get any answers out of me. I'm doing this for Luka and Uncle Jonas."

He grabbed her hair and yanked her head down to the side, exposing the vulnerable skin of her neck. "You won't be able to do anything for anybody if you're dead."

"Go ahead. Kill me. Then you'll definitely get answers," she mocked him.

That was the wrong thing to do. Klaus attacked her neck with a snarl, killing her in seconds. When he was done, he lifted the body and rushed off. It wouldn't do any good for the Council members to find another body drained of blood. He put the body in his trunk, then searched it for anything that might help. He pulled a book out of the bag she carried, smiling when he realized it was her grimoire. Grabbing that as well as the money she had just received from the Council, he closed the trunk.

* * *

Stefan and Bonnie walked into the boarding house together, both of them trying to not let on how discouraged they were at yet another fruitless search attempt.

"I'm going to go check on Caroline. Matt texted and said he had to leave for work about half an hour ago, so she's been alone for awhile now."

"OK, I'll be up in a bit."

Bonnie climbed the stairs up to her friend's room, preparing herself to be in an optimistic mood if Caroline happened to be awake. She eased the door open slowly and quietly. The main room was dark, but the bathroom light shone as a nightlight. Bonnie entered the room, happy to see that Caroline was sleeping peacefully. Most of the time, she was thrashing around fitfully. Making her way to the chair next to the bed, she was surprised to see that there was something sitting on it. Picking up the book, she frowned and brought it with her into the bathroom to see what it was. Opening it, she gasped, realizing it was a grimoire – and not one she recognized from the ones they had taken from the Martins. Feeling hope for the first time in days, she held her free hand over the book and closed her eyes, feeling her power flow through her. She could feel the book open and the pages fan. They settled down, and she opened her eyes to look at the spell that the book had opened to.

As she scanned the page, the hope that had been building inside of her crumbled. "Oh no…"

Bonnie turned when she heard the bedroom door open again. Instead of just seeing Stefan, she saw two silhouettes – Elena was there too.

"Hey Bonnie!" Elena whispered. "I wanted to see how Caroline was doing."

Bonnie walked out of the bathroom, holding the book up. "Come downstairs with me."

The three of them walked down to the living room, with Bonnie refusing to answer any questions until they got there. As they took seats, she held out the book again. "Either of you know where this came from?" They both shook their heads. "Well," she sighed, "we'll have to figure that mystery out later."

"What is it?" Elena asked.

"It's a grimoire – more specifically, the one owned by the witch who did this to Caroline. It was sitting on the chair in her room."

"What?" Stefan asked, clearly disconcerted by the fact that some unknown person had been in his home.

But Elena focused on what it was instead of where it was found. "Can it be reversed, Bonnie?" Her question caught Stefan's attention, and they both looked at Bonnie expectantly.

She let out the breath she had been holding. "Yes."

Elena let out a happy cry, reaching out to hug Bonnie in excitement. Bonnie didn't lift her arms to return it. "But…"

Elena pulled back from her friend to give her a look. "But what?"

"We need something as one of the ingredients that I don't know how we're going to get."

"What is it?" Stefan asked.

Bonnie looked at him for a second first, then turned her attention back to Elena. She held her friend's eyes for a moment before answering.

"We need the blood that caused Caroline to turn." Bonnie's face was grim as Elena pulled even further back in shock. "We need Damon's blood."


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 6/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 6**

* * *

"It's not just that she makes him a better person – and she does – but he changes her too. Damon challenges her, surprises her; he makes her question her life, her beliefs."  
– _Rose, "Heart of Darkness" (3x19)_

"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost." – _Gilbert K. Chesterton_

* * *

Stefan leaned forward and covered his face with his hands, exhaling loudly. "Of course, we do," he mumbled. "Because we can never catch any breaks, can we?"

Rather than feel defeated, Elena surged to her feet as adrenaline rushed through her. She felt a little guilty for how excited she felt at the thought that they needed Damon's blood, seeing as how Caroline was close to death and all, but in a strange way, it felt kind of good to be back in a life-or-death situation that required action on everyone's part. They would _all – _including Damon – have to work together again. Her mind briefly flitted back to the one odd dream that wasn't a memory like all the other dreams had been. _You want passion…and adventure…and even a little danger. _When she had woken up from that dream, she had been confused by it, telling herself that no, Dream-Damon was wrong: she didn't want danger. Who would want a dangerous life?! But it was hard to deny the thrill that was coursing through her now.

Bonnie and Stefan were looking up at her, waiting for an explanation as to why she had stood so suddenly but hadn't spoken yet. Shaking her head slightly to clear her mind, she started barking out orders. "OK, here's what we're going to do. Bonnie, you stay here with Caroline and go through the grimoire to see if there's anything else you can do. Stefan, go see Liz; maybe she has some idea where he is, or can at least use her police contacts to help find him. I'm going to go to the hospital and find Meredith. Maybe she still has some of Damon's blood somewhere. It's a long shot, but it might be our only hope." Elena stopped talking, breathing hard but prepared to fight anyone who disagreed with her plan or told her she had to stay here, where it was safe.

But then she realized that the only one who would do that wasn't there…

A pang of almost-disappointment went through her. Yes, the fights they had about her plans and about his caveman-like need to protect her always annoyed her. She thought that that would be the one thing that she wouldn't miss with him gone. But she was wrong. She realized now that the opposition he offered to her plans and actions were what had given her conviction. They were what had taught her how to stand up for herself.

Stefan stood and bent down to kiss her forehead. "Be safe." Then he was out the door in a flash, on his way to Liz's as she had commanded. She looked over at Bonnie, and it was clear that her friend was confused by Elena's behavior. Before Bonnie could call her on it, Elena grabbed her keys and walked out the door.

* * *

Stefan rushed up to the Forbes' front door and rang the doorbell. Liz turned the corner into the entryway and stopped short when she saw who it was through the door's window. Fear jumped into her eyes and color drained from her face. She hurried across the remaining distance and yanked the door open.

"What's wrong? Is she OK?"

Stefan held up a hand in an attempt to get her to calm down. "She's still alive. She's sleeping."

Liz let out a breath, leaning against the door for support. "I'm sorry…it's just, seeing you here at this time of night…"

"That's OK. Listen, we actually found something that might help…," he said that last part cautiously, not wanting to get her hopes up too much in case they weren't able to do the spell in time to save Caroline. "The thing is, we're going to need Damon's help with it, but we have no idea how to contact him. I don't suppose you can help with that?"

Liz shook her head, her mind clearly already racing at the possibility of hope that Stefan had dangled in front of her. "No, he didn't tell me anything before leaving. I hadn't even seen him in a while."

Stefan nodded, having expected that answer. "Alright, so if you can't help us as Damon's friend…can you help us as the Sheriff? Is there any way to find him using your computers?"

"We can certainly try!" Liz stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her. "Let's go to the station."

* * *

Elena walked through the hospital quickly, keeping an eye out for Meredith. She finally saw the doctor coming out of one of the patient rooms and ran to meet her in the hallway. Meredith looked up from the patient's chart at the sound of her coming.

"Elena?"

"Hi, Meredith. Is there somewhere we can talk?"

She nodded and led Elena to a room down the hall. Opening the door, she flipped on the light. "Is it Caroline?" They had filled Meredith in on what was happening a couple days ago, in case they needed her to give Caroline a sedative to help her go peacefully, like she had done with Alaric.

"Kind of, but not in the way you're thinking." Elena explained what they had learned and what they needed, feeling discouraged when Meredith started shaking her head before Elena finished asking whether she had any of Damon's blood left.

"No, sorry. Alaric destroyed it all the night he died, and when I saw Damon later, he was too worried about you for me to really ask him whether he'd be willing to replenish my supply."

Elena furrowed her brow in confusion. "You saw Damon that night?"

"Yeah…didn't you? He went down to the morgue looking for you."

Elena slowly shook her head as things clicked into place. She had wondered for so long why he hadn't at least said goodbye, and she now knew the answer. He had seen her with Stefan.

* * *

Elena made it back to the boarding house just as Jeremy was pulling up the drive.

"Jeremy!"

"Hey, what's going on? Bonnie texted me but all she said was to come over."

They walked into the foyer together. As they entered, they saw Bonnie sitting on the couch, hunched over the grimoire. She didn't look up at them as she asked, "Did Meredith have any?"

"No."

"Any what?" Jeremy asked.

"Any of Damon's blood. We need it for the spell," Elena explained.

"Yeah," Bonnie piped up. "The one time we actually _want_ him around, and he's nowhere to be found."

Jeremy and Elena joined Bonnie in the living room. Elena sat next to her on the couch while Jeremy leaned against the armrest.

"There's no way to do it without the blood?" Jeremy asked, trying to catch up to where everyone else was.

"No," Bonnie shook her head. "I've been looking, but there's nothing. If we can't find Damon, then Caroline's going to die."

Jeremy reeled backward, almost falling to the floor as Elena made a shocked noise and grabbed for his arm to help him regain his balance. "Jeremy! Are you OK?"

"Yeah," Jeremy sighed. "Bastard."

"What?" Elena asked, confused.

"He compelled me," was the only response Jeremy offered. He didn't say anything else as he pulled out his cell phone and hit a few buttons. He put the phone to his ear, stood and took a couple steps away from the girls. Elena watched him closely, trying to come to terms with the fact that, if she understood her brother's cryptic statement correctly, they were just seconds away from having contact with Damon for the first time in months. She glanced over at Bonnie, who was watching her closely. Elena shook her head, unsure of what to say.

Jeremy turned back toward them slightly, a confused expression on his face. "Uh, yeah. Hi. I thought this was Damon Salvatore's phone…" He paused, listening to something on the other side as Elena's stomach dropped. What was going on? "Oh. Uh. Ok. Thanks."

Jeremy ended the call and then stared at the phone in his hands without saying anything.

"What?!" Elena practically shouted at him.

Jeremy looked up at his sister for a second, knowing that, even if he didn't like the fact that she had some sort of connection with Damon, this information would hurt her.

"A woman answered the phone. She said she'll tell Damon to call back as soon as he's out of the shower."

* * *

"So do you want to talk about it?" Bonnie asked after watching Elena stare into the fire for several minutes. Jeremy had escaped to Caroline's bedroom, saying he was going to check on her but clearly uncomfortable about the look on his sister's face after he told them a woman had answered Damon's phone.

"Talk about what?" Elena responded in a deadened voice.

"Damon."

Elena jerked her attention away from the fire and breathed in deeply. She ran a hand through her hair. "There's nothing to talk about."

"_Elena_." Bonnie wasn't about to let her get out of it that easily.

"Bonnie, there's nothing to talk about, OK? He is perfectly allowed to sleep with as many women as he wants to. Or, you know, _compel_ as many women to sleep with him as he wants," Elena half-smiled at her joke, but it wasn't enough to make Bonnie believe that she was truly alright with it.

Bonnie opened her mouth to say more, but closed it again with a sigh. Now was not the time.

Elena returned her attention to the fire. _Oh please, let it be someone he compelled…_ The alternative to that was just something she didn't want to think about.

Both girls turned around as the front door opened and Stefan and Liz walked in. Liz waved to the girls quickly before heading up the stairs to check on her daughter. Stefan sighed, shaking his head. "No luck on our end; what about you?"

"We found him."

Stefan looked at her in shock. "What?"

Bonnie opened her mouth to explain, but Stefan's ringing cell phone interrupted her. He held up a finger with one hand and dug it out of his pocket with the other. He looked at the screen display in confusion. "It's…_Alaric_."

"No," said Jeremy, rejoining them downstairs in order to give Liz and Caroline some privacy. "It's Damon."

Stefan cocked an eyebrow, looked down at the phone again and answered it. "Damon?" The others watched him, trying to determine what was being said on the other side, but Stefan's face was like stone. "Hold on a second. I'm going to put you on speaker, so Bonnie can explain." Stefan pushed a button, then bent forward to put the phone on the table.

Bonnie caught Elena's eye for a second before turning her attention to the phone. "Damon?" She called out, leaning forward.

"Witch."

Elena closed her eyes for a moment, feeling … a sort of _contentment _wash over her at the sound of his voice. Bonnie, meanwhile, just rolled hers and proceeded to tell him why they needed him back in town as soon as possible. When she was done, there was a noticeable pause and Elena was afraid for a second that they had lost the connection.

"I don't know if that's going to be possible," Damon finally responded in his trademark careless tone, as if they had told him they needed him back for the Founder's Day Dance. "I'm kind of far away right now."

"Damon," Stefan started, sounding annoyed in the way that only Damon could inspire. Before he could get further though, they heard the muffled sounds of someone talking in the background on Damon's end, but it was too quiet to make out what was said.

"Are you sure you want me to come back, Stefan? It would go against the terms of our _agreement_," Damon said in a sing-song. Elena looked up at Stefan, but he refused to meet her questioning glance, focusing his attention solely on the phone.

"Damon, just get back here."

"We'll be there as soon as we can," Damon sighed as if he was making a great sacrifice, but then he grew serious, indicating to Elena that he was still the Damon she remembered. "Tell Blondie to hang on."

* * *

Later that evening, after Bonnie, Jeremy and Liz had left for the night, Elena made her way up to Stefan's room, where he was writing in his journal. He was lost in his thoughts and didn't seem to notice that she was there.

"What agreement?" Elena asked from the doorway after a moment of watching him. She had struggled with the temptation of asking him all night, desperately wanting to know what was meant but also afraid that it would disrupt the careful balance that their relationship had been in the last couple of months. She had managed to go so long without even _mentioning_ Damon to him that, to ask an outright question about him, made her feel the same way she did the night that she told Stefan she had kissed Damon.

Stefan looked up at her for a second, then back down at his journal. He tapped the pen on the paper a couple times before leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. He looked at her for only a second, but Elena felt like she was being examined under a microscope.

Stefan cleared his throat. "Damon and I… we decided that, when you chose one of us, the other…would leave town."

A surge of anger went through Elena. She was furious at both of them for making the agreement in the first place, at Stefan for not telling her about it, and at Damon for going through with it. "You did _what?!"_

"Elena," Stefan said, standing up and taking a few steps closer. "Let me explain…"

"No!" She raised her hand to stop him from coming any closer. "No, let me explain. You and Damon made a decision about me – like you always do – without even _telling_ me about it. How could you _do _that? You knew I didn't want to lose either one of you!"

"Elena," Stefan sighed. "We did what we thought was right. I mean, we couldn't go on the way we were before. And neither one of us wanted another Katherine situation."

"I'm _not _Katherine!"

Stefan held up his hands defensively. "I know you're not. That's not what I meant. I didn't mean that you would be with us both. I meant that we didn't want you to tear us apart like she did. We…we were _just_ managing to get along again. We couldn't risk losing each other."

Elena averted her eyes and crossed her arms, fighting the tears that were building. She couldn't let herself be affected by what Stefan had just said. She wanted to stay mad. She had to stay mad. Stefan had lied to her. Damon had…_abandoned_ her. And now he was off God knows where with some slut and probably forgetting all about her…

"Elena?" Stefan tried again.

Elena turned on her heel and walked out of the room, not trusting herself to talk to him at the moment. She didn't know what she would say. She didn't know what she felt.

All she _did _know was that Damon had said "_We'll_ be there" like it was the most natural thing in the world…


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 7/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 7**

* * *

"Hope's a bitch, Sage. Get out while you can." – _Damon, "Break on Through" (3x17)_

"Follow love and it will flee; flee love and it will follow thee." – _John Gay_

* * *

_Damon turned and walked to his waiting car. It was time to put some distance between himself and Mystic Falls._

Damon had every intention of going north when he left town – to New York or Chicago or some other large city where he could disappear among the masses for a little while. But Alaric was still on his mind when he started driving and somehow he ended up halfway to North Carolina before he even realized it. With a shrug of his shoulders, he decided to keep driving. After almost 172 years, he had learned that sometimes it was better to follow your instincts.

Even though it had been a long time, he easily found the house where he had turned Isobel. Looking back now, he realized that he should have known something was different about her. At the time, he had figured she was just one of those girls seduced by the idea of vampires, unaware of what she was really asking for. He should have said no, but he had been seduced too: by the feeling that her hero-worship of him inspired, by the power of it, by the brief respite it gave him from the eternity of waiting and hating and longing for something he could no longer have – the longing to _be_ someone he no longer was.

For what he had done to Alaric, to Elena, he regretted it. But he couldn't bring himself to regret it completely. If he hadn't done it, he wouldn't have had Alaric in his life, and Alaric wouldn't have had Jenna in his…

Parked across the street, Damon watched the empty house for awhile, thinking back to the night of the bachelor auction. He had been such a _dick_ to Alaric that night; it was amazing that they had ever become friends. Smiling wryly, he grabbed a bottle from the seat next to him, twisted the cap off, saluted the house with it, and took a long drink.

Clearing his throat, Damon started the car and drove toward the Duke campus. He figured that, while he was there, he may as well take care of some business he should have the last time he was in town. It was near the middle of the day, so there was a chance that people would be there, but the only one he really had to worry about was Vanessa.

Making his way to Isobel's old office, he tried hard not to think about when he was here with Ric and Elena, how she had used him and his guilt to manipulate him into helping, how he had tried to apologize with the information about Katherine's real name, how her words later that evening about how he had lost her forever cut him deeply. He clenched his jaw and pushed those memories out of his head. He was here to take care of business. Nothing else.

Stopping outside the door, he listened for a moment. When he heard nothing, he twisted the doorknob hard, breaking the lock and opening it. He slipped inside, closed the door and moved methodically around the room, grabbing all of the books and other documents that did or might mention him, Stefan or Katherine. The fact that Vanessa knew who he was and had recognized him didn't sit well with him. The fewer people who had access to the dark secrets of Mystic Falls, the better. Dumping the contents of one of the storage boxes in the office, Damon put all of the books and documents into it and put the box under his arm. He slipped out of the room noiselessly, closing the door again.

He put the box in his trunk, next to his one bag of belongings. He was just closing the trunk when he heard someone call out his name. Whipping around, he prepared himself for a fight only to slowly let down his guard when he saw it was Vanessa. She walked toward him, and he smirked at the apprehension in her eyes. He crossed his arms and leaned against his trunk, waiting for her to come to him. When she got close enough to speak privately, she glanced around for eavesdroppers, even though the other students were hurrying past them without paying any attention to them.

"I should warn you," she whispered hoarsely. "I drink vervain every day now."

He leaned forward slightly and stage-whispered back. "I should warn you, vervain wouldn't stop me from snapping your neck." She took an involuntary step back and he chuckled. "But I'm not going to. Today."

"What are you doing here, Damon?" She said in her regular voice, annoyance replacing the fear.

"I missed you!"

Vanessa gave him an exasperated look, and he smiled in response. Standing up straight, he walked from his trunk to the driver's door. "Don't worry, Vanessa. I'm just passing through."

"How's Alaric?" Her question made him freeze, his hand on the door handle. He was glad his back was to her, so she couldn't see his pained reaction. Schooling his face into a passive expression, he turned toward her and bluntly told her that he was dead.

"What?! What happened?"

Damon shrugged. "Life."

"You really are a jackass, aren't you?"

_He is very capable of being a first-rate jackass… _Damon wondered if there would ever be a time when he wouldn't hear Elena's voice in his head. Smiling tightly, he put on his sunglasses and opened the car door. "No need to cry about things you can't change, Vanessa. People die."

She scoffed, shook her head and turned to walk away. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close, growling into her ear, "Tell anyone I was here and I will come back here and rip out your heart faster than you can even _blink_." He pushed her away from him roughly, slid into the car and drove away without looking back.

Sometimes it was easier being a jackass.

* * *

Damon turned his head slightly to stare out his open window, watching the countryside go past as he drove toward Bree's bar. Somehow the drive that was supposed to take him away from Elena had instead turned into a trip down memory lane. It just…made _sense_ to go there next, after leaving Duke.

He walked into the bar, which was full but not crowded. He recognized a few of the patrons as having been there that day, but they didn't give him a second glance. A guy in his twenties was behind the bar, a towel tossed over his shoulder and a toothpick hanging out of mouth. It was strange to see someone other than Bree behind the bar. A pang of regret went through him, and he berated himself for his rash behavior. His temper had gotten the best of him – not for the first or the last time. But, just like everything else, he couldn't take it back.

He ordered a drink and sat down, hunching over the table and glancing at the other drinkers out of the corner of his eye. He knocked back the shot, making a face at the burn of the alcohol as it went down his throat. Damon put the shot glass back down on the counter, smiling at the memory of Elena actually having a good time for a change. It had been eye-opening to see her like that, away from Stefan and all the drama. When he had first taken her with him after finding her in the road, it had merely been to mess with Stefan and to alleviate his own boredom. But, except for the whole…_unpleasantness_ with Bree and Lexi's boyfriend, it had actually turned out to be one of his favorite days. He had felt like, for the first time since they met that night on the highway, he was finally seeing the true Elena.

"Fancy seeing you here," the familiar voice pulled him out of his memories. Damon turned slightly in his chair while simultaneously leaning slightly away from the newcomer. He hid his spark of concern behind a charming smile.

"Lee, buddy, how are you?"

The other man glared at him, then took a sip from his bottle of beer. "Don't piss me off, man. I could still kill you for what you did to Lexi."

Damon nodded slightly, turning back to stare forward at his hands on the counter. He played with his ring, twisting it back and forth at the knuckle. "You're right," he said softly, half-smiling at the irony. "I didn't have to kill her. I do a lot of things that I don't _have_ to do."

Lee snorted. "That was weak."

"You have no idea."

The two vampires sat in silence for a while. Lee continued to regularly take drinks from his beer but, for the first time in a long time, Damon didn't really feel like ordering another drink. He faced forward, staring into the space ahead of him. Finally, Lee spoke again, pulling Damon's attention back to him.

"So, where's _your _girlfriend?"

"Elena? Not my girlfriend."

"Yeah, because random people beg for my life all the time, too."

Damon didn't say anything in response for a long time. He stood, knowing it was time to move on – that he couldn't find answers here, just like he couldn't find them at Duke. He was wrong to come here; he no longer understood why it had made sense to him.

Pulling a couple of bills out of his wallet, he tossed them down on the counter, buying his drink as well as Lee's. "She's back where she belongs. Back with the guy she belongs with."

Lee scrunched his face up in confusion. "So you're leaving – not even putting up a fight?"

Damon shrugged. "I'm done fighting." He walked toward the door and was almost there when Lee's voice called out to him. Turning around, he waited until Lee walked up to him.

"Listen, man, the _only _reason I'm saying this to you is because Lexi once told me about you. She said that bitterness and anger were eating you up inside, but that she could tell how much you loved your brother, even when you hated him. She said there was good in you, buried deep." Lee scoffed, "I doubt she'd think so now, after what you did to her."

Damon averted his eyes, not wanting to think about Lexi. Or Stefan, for that matter. And certainly not wanting to think about the other person who had seen good in him.

"But, anyway, here it is. When Elena was begging for your life, she said something that really stuck with me. She said that Lexi told her, 'when it's real, you can't walk away.'"

"Well," Damon responded flatly, finally looking back at Lee. "Lexi Branson was wrong about something. Guess she wasn't perfect."

* * *

Despite his retort to Lee, Damon couldn't get those words out of his head. They played over and over again, tempting him to turn the car around and go back to Mystic Falls.

It _was_ real – and not just for him. He had to believe that it wasn't just him who had felt it. She had kissed him; she had told him she cared about him; she had looked at him with those expressive eyes that couldn't hide anything from him…

He could go back. He could turn around and drive to her and fightfor her again. He could constantly be around, reminding her that he was there too. That he wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't going to mess it up this time. If she wanted to choose Stefan, she could. But he didn't have to make it so _easy_ for her!

Damon tensed his arms, physically restraining himself from turning the wheel back toward Mystic Falls. Who was he kidding? He couldn't go back. He had promised Stefan. He had promised himself. It was the least he could do, after all the trouble he had caused them. And besides, even if he did go back, it would only be to watch Elena and Stefan live happily ever after. She chose Stefan.

She would _always_ choose Stefan.

He had to stop hoping that she would choose differently. Hope had made him a fool these last couple months, as he had waited for her to realize that she loved him too…loved him the most, even. Hope was a dangerous thing; the hope that he could win Katherine's love and, later, that he could rescue her from her fate, had destroyed his relationship with Stefan for over a century. More than that, it had made him bitter and cruel and had _wasted_ all of that time.

No, he couldn't hope anymore. Elena would never be his. It was time to stop hoping and start moving forward to a new life – one without Katherine, without Stefan.

Without Elena.

And to do that, he needed to stop going to places where he would be reminded of her.

* * *

Thanks for all the comments/ feedback! I really appreciate it; they always make me smile.

For those of you who are speculating that the woman is Katherine, I'm sorry to disappoint, but she is not Katherine. Don't worry, though – she's not your "typical" OC.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 8/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 8**

* * *

"I'm better at being the bad guy anyway." – _Damon, "All My Children" (3x15)_

"Absence – that common cure of love." – _Lord Byron_

* * *

It was late afternoon by the time Damon finally cracked one eye open. He was on his stomach, his face half-buried in a pillow. He had a bad taste in his mouth from the alcohol he had consumed the night before, and his brain was fuzzy. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and rubbed at his eyes. Snippets of memories from the night before came back to him. Damon turned his head to look at the redhead next to him in the bed. She was still passed out, the bite wound on her neck silently rebuking him for his lack of restraint.

Damon let out a sigh and shut his eyes tight, putting his face back down onto the pillow. He had been in New Orleans for two weeks now, indulging in alcohol, blood and women in a desperate attempt to get back to being the Damon he used to be.

For a little while, the alcohol helped to shut out the voices reminding him that the Damon he used to be was interested in only two things: saving Katherine from the tomb and making Stefan's life miserable.

The blood helped make him feel like he was a ruthless monster again, not someone who _saved_ lives instead.

But so far, none of the women had helped him forget about her…

_It's only been two weeks. It's going to take more time. I was in love with Katherine for almost 150 years, after all! _The pain in Damon's heart wouldn't go away, no matter what he did or what he told himself. He needed more distractions, more ways to avoid feeling and remembering.

He heard a soft moan from the woman next to him, and he immediately had her in his arms, compelling her to forget about being fed on and to only remember the sex. She turned coquettish, offering herself up for more. Damon was more than willing to take what she offered, attacking her with a savagery that ultimately did not fulfill its purpose.

* * *

The bartender nodded at Damon as he walked into the hole-in-the-wall jazz bar he had been frequenting the last couple of days. Up until he found this place, Damon had been switching up which establishments he went to, not wanting to garner too much attention by leaving with a different woman every night. He hadn't killed any of them, just fed from them. But that was quickly turning out to be _not enough_ and he was afraid that one night he would snap and go too far in his attempts to block out everything else. He didn't feel like leaving New Orleans yet, so he needed to make sure that no one remembered him too well.

But the plan to vary his routine changed when he walked into the jazz bar a couple nights ago. It wasn't too big, but big enough. It was dark and almost a little lonely. The music was soft and pleasant in the background. It vaguely reminded him of the place he went to a lot in Chicago, back when Stefan was ruthlessly killing everything in sight and he was trying to avoid him as much as possible, back when he didn't know Elena, back when he didn't know how big of a bitch Katherine was. Ultimately, it reminded him of an easier time, and it kept drawing him back even though he knew he should move on to someplace new.

Grabbing his drink, Damon made his way back to the booth that had become_ his_ over the last couple of nights. It was in the darkest corner of the dark room, allowing him to see but not be seen. He could watch the crowd, deciding on whom to approach, when to make his move. The women he had taken back to his hotel room these last two weeks ranged from tall, lithe blondes to petite redheads like the one this morning. The only kind of women he did not go for were thin brunettes with piercing eyes and sharp tongues.

Damon had just decided upon a short girl with a pixie haircut when a whoosh of air alerted him to the fact that, suddenly, someone was sitting next to him in the circular booth. He turned to look, idly playing with his drink in front of him. The female vampire appeared to have been about 20 when she had been turned. Her black curls fell over the side of her face, partially obstructing his view of her, but it was clear that she was staring straight ahead, presumably ignoring him. However, her words belied that fact, showing instead that she had been all too aware of him for much too long.

"So, which girl are you going to compel tonight?" She asked in a sparkling British accent.

Damon raised an eyebrow and took a drink. He gestured with the glass toward the girl he had chosen. "Unless you have a better recommendation."

The other vampire finally turned toward him. She shot him a look that was part amusement, part disapproval. "Yeah, how about _none_ of them?"

Damon pouted theatrically. "That's no fun."

"Listen, Casanova. Your behavior hasn't exactly been as subtle as you'd like to think it is. I don't need any townsfolk with pitchforks coming after me, if you get my drift."

"Then wouldn't you want to _distance_ yourself from me, not sit so close you're practically in my lap?"

She smiled seductively, scooted closer to him and put an arm on the booth behind his back. Leaning closer, she brought her lips close to his ear. "Honey," she purred, "there is _nothing_ about your lap that interests me." She caught his eye, winked, and scooted back to where she had been sitting.

Damon couldn't help the guffaw that burst out of his throat, and he realized it was the first time he had truly laughed since leaving Mystic Falls. He had absolutely no doubt that she was telling the truth, and for some reason, that comforted him.

"Then what _are _you interested in?" He asked, feeling no regret at all as he watched his intended victim for the night walk out the door with her friends.

A sadness filled her eyes and he grew curious about this vampire, hoping that, if nothing else, she would be enough to distract him for a little while. Holding up her own glass, she saluted him with it. "A drink with a kindred soul."

Damon leaned forward on his elbows, twisting his body to still be looking up at her. "How do you know I'm a kindred soul?"

She smirked. "Just a feeling."

They sat in silence for awhile, and Damon was surprised at the fact that it already was a companionable silence. He didn't even know her name, and yet he already felt comfortable around her. "I'm Damon Salvatore."

"Lucy Ainsworth."

He picked up his own drink again, holding it out toward her. They clinked their glasses together and finished their drinks in the resumed silence.

* * *

"So," Damon said lightly, "you still haven't told me what you're doing in New Orleans."

He and Lucy were strolling arm in arm together down Bourbon Street about two weeks after they had met, effortlessly moving around the tourists and partiers. That first night, they went back to her place after leaving the bar, talking until they had fallen asleep. They now slept in her bed at her apartment in the French Quarter every night, quickly falling into a routine. Given that routine, it was more convenient and almost natural to be together all the time. It would have been difficult for _some people_ to believe, but they were purely sleeping together, not having sex; Lucy was truly not interested in him in that way and he was secretly happy for an excuse to not have to use random women, since he knew that wasn't helping him forget about Elena anyway. They slept during the day since she did not have a daylight ring. At night, they went out on the town, drinking, dancing and talking.

He had learned a lot about her since they met: that she was originally from London and had been turned about 300 years ago, that she laughed easily and was just as sarcastic as he was, that her favorite book was _Frankenstein_, that she hated heavy metal music.

He hadn't learned anything of substance about her, however, and he was curious. She wasn't keeping it from him on purpose. Whenever he broached the deeper subjects, she would get that same sadness in her eyes that he had seen the first night, and he chose not to pursue it further. In exchange, she hadn't yet asked him what his story was. For now, they were content to spend time together and build their friendship based on the little things instead.

And something else strange happened during those two weeks. The friendship they were building was doing for him what all the alcohol and blood and women couldn't: he was starting to heal. He didn't think about Elena and Stefan constantly anymore. Sure, he still thought about them, but it was with a dull ache instead of a shooting pain. It was almost like shutting off the switch to his emotions, but more like, as he would have told Ric, dimming it… His love for Elena was still there – it would always be there – but for the first time, he was beginning to think he'd be able to survive not having her love in return.

Because of this _gift_ that Lucy had given him – and because of the sadness in her eyes – he was happy to let the true details of their lives stay unsaid for as long as she wanted, but he couldn't help but ask questions sometimes. Every once in a while, she actually answered, and he would offer something personal about himself in return.

"I'm saying goodbye to the love of my life."

Damon stopped in his tracks, raising an eyebrow in shocked confusion. This was the first time she had mentioned anything about a lover. However, he knew that if he had thought about it, he should have easily guessed. He knew from experience that only a lost love could spark that level of sadness behind the eyes.

She turned to look at him, shrugging sheepishly. He half-smiled in response. "I guess we are kindred spirits." It was her turn to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Are we finally going to have this conversation?" She asked, a little teasingly.

"I'm game if you are."

Lucy hesitated for a second, then nodded decisively. She turned and started walking again, and Damon followed her lead. It would definitely be easier to talk about this if they weren't actually looking at each other.

"I was 20 when I met Marc," she began. "He was a minor nobleman from France, visiting my father on business. I fell in love with him almost immediately, but I didn't think he had noticed me at all. He was older and worldly. And…," she glanced at Damon, a glint in her eye.

"A vampire."

"Yes. He approached me at a ball one evening, and we started talking. We would secretly meet every evening, at a concert here, a seminar there."

"How exhilarating," Damon said dryly, clearly giving his opinion on their choice of entertainment. She shot him a look.

"Do you want to hear this story or not?" He raised his hands defensively. He gestured that she should continue, elaborately pantomiming that he would remain silent. Lucy mock-glared at him for a moment, before continuing her story. "He finally told me what he was, in part to protect me against an enemy of his. A vampire named Piotr had finally caught up to him in London, after searching for him to get revenge. Marc had killed Piotr's friend in a fight 50 years earlier, and Piotr couldn't let it go. One night, when I was heading home from a concert, Piotr killed my driver and turned me. He knew that would hurt Marc because it would no longer be our choice for me to turn. I probably would have made the choice to turn anyway, though. Anyway, long story short, we lived happily ever after – after Marc killed Piotr, of course."

"Until…?"

Lucy reached up and wiped at the tear that had slipped down her cheek while she had been talking. "He just…_died_. I don't know what happened. We were here in New Orleans, reminiscing about when we were here in the 1800s after Marc had helped orchestrate the Louisiana Purchase. And he fell to his knees, coughed up blood, and desiccated in front of my eyes. I don't know what happened. We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."

They continued walking, but Lucy was clearly done talking for now. Damon cleared his throat. "Do you know who turned Marc?"

Lucy shot him a look, clearly confused that that was the question he asked out of all the potential questions he could have asked. "Uh…a woman named Sage. Why?"

Damon smiled tightly, avoiding her eyes. "Then I can help you out with what happened to Marc. It actually is a part of my own story, but I guess to tell it right, I have to tell you everything." Damon hesitated, taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment. "It all started when Katherine Pierce came to my family's estate."

* * *

During the course of Damon's story, they had walked back to Lucy's apartment, as neither one of them felt like partaking of their usual entertainment that night. They were now sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of blood in front of each of them. Damon had finished his story, and Lucy was staring at him, unsure of how to respond to the variety of revelations she had heard.

Finally, she cleared her throat and took a sip of her blood. "Thank you for telling me. It's nice to know what actually happened to Marc, even if it obviously can't change anything."

Damon nodded, staring into the depths of his blood. He was a little shocked that he had told her everything – about Katherine, about Stefan, about Elena, about his behavior for the last century or so. Even though they had developed a pretty close friendship, he still considered himself to be a loner, but the story of his life had come flowing out of his mouth easily. It felt…_good_ to have someone know about what happened who hadn't actually been a part of it. It somehow made it more real.

Lucy shook herself slightly, then looked up at Damon with a grin on her face. "So we are both trying to get over the loves of our lives."

"Guess so."

"So I get why I am doing so. I _have to_. He's dead. But I don't get why you are. It sounds to me like the love of your life loves you back."

Damon shook his head, not allowing himself any hope. "You only think that because you heard the story from me. If you had heard it from her or from Stefan, you wouldn't think so."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Damon."

"Just…drop it, OK?"

Lucy opened her mouth as if to say more, but the look on Damon's face stopped her from speaking. She knew when to fight her battles and when to retreat.

"Alright. Here's what I've been thinking. New Orleans is only one location that meant something to me and Marc. My plan was to visit all the places that were important to us, kind of as a way to say goodbye. Since you… have nothing _better_ to do, care to join me?"

Damon was silent for awhile, thinking about Elena and the fact that he was still somewhat hoping that she'd find him somehow and beg him to come back, declare her undying love, _choose him_. That hope still restricted him, preventing him from truly moving on. He then thought about his first two weeks away from Mystic Falls, when he was on his own and hurting. He thought about these last two weeks, and how Lucy's friendship and his absence from Mystic Falls had made him, at times, almost forget about Elena. He could go with Lucy, let the distance and absence continue to work its magic. Or he could say no, and go back to struggling through the temptation and rejection on his own…

"Where's our next stop?"

Lucy smiled. "Los Angeles. We'll have to take my car, since it has tempered glass windows. We can leave yours here, in my garage."

Damon smirked. "I see you've already been thinking about this."

"Well," she shrugged, a smile growing on her face. "I've grown accustomed to using your pecs as a pillow."

"Ah. So you're just usingme for my body, then?"

"I figured it was time you got a taste of your own medicine, Casanova."


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 9/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Note:**In this chapter, Damon might seem a little out of character, but I personally think the emotions and thoughts could be appropriate, given that there usually appears to be a lot simmering "under the surface" with him on the show. Hopefully you think so too!

**Chapter 9**

* * *

"What happened to you, Damon? You used to be so sweet and polite." _- Katherine, "Masquerade" (2x7)_

"For of all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been.'"  
_- John Greenleaf Whittier_

"All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name." – _Andre Breton_

* * *

_Three Weeks Later_

Damon sat on the quiet, secluded beach, legs spread out in front of him and hands buried in the cool sand behind him. Even during the day, this beach was rarely populated, but at night it was as if he and Lucy were the only people in the world. She was currently wading in the ocean, spending their last night in Los Angeles by enjoying one of Marc's favorite activities. He half-smiled as he watched her playing in the waves, in awe that she was able to find joy in life even while on a cross-country road trip mourning the man she had loved for 300 years.

They had taken their time getting to L.A., with stops along the way both at places that were important to Marc and Lucy and at random tourist traps, buying each other joke souvenirs and taking photos of each other in funny poses by different landmarks. At first, he had felt decidedly _un-Damon_ doing those things, resisting and rolling his eyes. When he did that, she would tease him, reminding him that no one here knew that he was supposed to be the villainous bad boy. She shared with him Marc's theory: what's the point of living forever, if you weren't actually living? She pointed out that, for the first time since he had been turned, he no longer had to worry about releasing Katherine or punishing Stefan or saving Elena – that he was free to just be himself. Ultimately, Lucy drew an innocent playfulness out of him that he didn't realize he still had, that he thought was lost with his humanity. The last time he could remember feeling this way was when he had taught Stefan the new game of football. He had come close to feeling that way with Elena, but he was never really able to let himself enjoy it completely, partly because she would never choose him and partly because he couldn't totally disregard the guilt he felt about loving his brother's girlfriend.

_Elena…_

He hadn't forgotten about her like he had hoped he would when agreeing to go on this trip with Lucy. Deep down, he knew even when they started out that he wouldn't. Instead, it seemed as if he thought of her even _more_ – not with pain or loss, but with a sad sense of "what if." What if she had been the one on this trip with him; what if he could see her enjoying this adventure, exploring new and wonderful things instead of worrying about doppelgangers or Originals or dying? What if he could have been the one to show her the world? What if she could see this side of him, this side that _didn't_ snap and kill people when he was angry?

If she could see this side of him, would she have seen someone that she could have chosen?

But then again, he probably could never have been this Damon with her. Lucy knew and accepted his past, being a vampire herself and understanding everything that came along with that. Her acceptance gave him freedom. He didn't have to feel so…_inadequate_ around her. With Elena, though, his past would always come between them – both what he had done while he had known her, and what he had done for all those years before she was even born. He didn't regret his actions; like he had told Stefan, he owned them. They had made him who he was: the person who Elena had needed him to be to save her life so many times. But he did regret the fact that Elena couldn't get past them, that he couldn't make her see that there was _more_ to him than just the man who lived comfortably in the gray area of morality.

_I like you now…just the way you are._

What if she could have _loved_ him just the way he was?

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Lucy rushing out of the ocean toward him, using her vampire speed to get to him before the ocean water could slip through her fingers into the sand. He could have used his own speed to avoid getting the water thrown on him, but the look of glee on Lucy's face amused him. He allowed her to fling the water into his face, and he sputtered in false indignation.

"What was _that_ for?"

Still laughing, she dropped down in the sand next to him. "You looked too deep in thought. What's our rule?"

"Save the brooding for Stefan," they intoned together.

Damon smiled down at her. "I don't know if that can really be _your_ rule, though, when you don't even know him…"

"Eh," she shrugged. "A technicality."

Damon laughed, looking back out toward the ocean. "You know, before Katherine came to our estate, I thought about moving out to California."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was never serious about it. I had a lot of thoughts about leaving; it didn't really matter where. It was just a fantasy. A way to get away from my father. He… I was a constant disappointment to him."

"Why didn't you go?"

Damon hesitated. "Stefan. Having him there made it bearable, even though I resented him at the same time."

Lucy scrunched her eyebrows together. "You resented him even then – before Katherine?"

Damon shook his head, not sure how to explain. "Not as much as I did after Katherine, but I did. I was the older brother, but he was the one who would stand up for me with our father – he was the one our father respected. Our father never respected me, or my choices. But then…Katherine came, and I found out what she was, and she became my ticket out of that life. I think that's why I really loved her. I had this idea that, if I were a vampire and I had her love, then I would have the strength to leave my father. That's why she didn't have to compel me and why I was so adamant that she only bring me, not Stefan. It's also why I was so angry when I realized she had turned Stefan too – even back then, I was always the second choice, but I had convinced myself I was the one she wanted."

Lucy smiled sadly, rubbing his back. "If your dad couldn't see how good your principles were, then that was his problem. And Katherine lost out on an eternity of happiness for not appreciating your sweetness and your love. And if Elena can't see the man you are, then she's blind."

Damon chuckled wryly, dropping his head so that she couldn't see how much her words affected him. The Damon that Stefan and Elena knew would likely have scoffed at such a description, but the Damon he had been when he was alive secretly delighted at them.

Lucy moved her hand up from his back to play with his hair, tucking a strand behind his ear. "If I _could_ love anyone other than Marc, I would choose you, Damon. You would be my first choice."

Damon smirked, needing to lighten the moment. "You know, if you want to have sex, you just have to say so. I'm not that difficult to seduce."

Lucy yanked on the hair she was playing with, causing him to grimace with feigned pain. He laughed but then grew serious, smiling softly and catching her eye. "If I could love anyone other than Elena, I would choose you."

Lucy got a familiar gleam in her eye. Damon knew what she was about to say; it wouldn't be the first time she tried to convince him he still had a chance, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. "You know, we _could_ always go to Mystic Falls next and…"

Damon stood, swooping Lucy into his arms and walking steadily toward the ocean. She shrieked playfully. "What are you doing?!"

"Saving the brooding for Stefan," he responded, carrying her further and further in until the water was up to his waist, at which point he dropped her into the ocean.

* * *

They went back east next, driving cross country over the northern half of the United States instead of the southern. They finally stopped for awhile in New York, enjoying the nightlife, dancing at clubs until the wee hours of the morning. Damon lost himself in the music and the moves, the beating hearts of the young people around him, the anonymity of the city. It sent a thrill through him, made him feel alive, reminded him of the good parts of being forever young.

And, simultaneously, it reminded him of the fact that he _wasn't_ alive. For the rest of the partiers, this was a fleeting moment, a chance to make memories and hang on to a youth that was already slipping through their fingers. It reminded him that he wasn't human. And it reminded him that he missed it. No matter how much he pretended, he would always miss it.

His existential crisis, as he had told Jessica before killing her…

Walking to their hotel – a five star one they had compelled their way into – Damon thought back to the night he killed her, embarrassed now by how he had fallen so utterly apart.

"Do you ever miss it?" he asked unintentionally, the words out of his mouth before he even realized he was going to ask the question.

Lucy looked at him questioningly. "Miss what?"

Damon made a face, still upset with himself for even starting the conversation. Damon Salvatore didn't _do_ introspective – at least not around people he couldn't compel or kill. "Being human."

Lucy squeezed his arm, which she was currently using to steady herself while walking in her stilettos. "Damon. We _all_ do. Some of us more than others, granted, but it's never something you can forget, is it?" She paused and a pensive expression blossomed on her face. "I think that's why we love so deeply and passionately; it's our compensation for not being able to have everything else."

"Ah," Damon smirked. "So you think _that's_ why I'm so easily controlled by the women I love?"

"No," Lucy teased. "I think you're so easily controlled because you're _you._"

Damon made a face. "You sure know how to give a compliment."

Lucy laughed. "Damon, your ego does not need any more compliments."

Damon smirked, nodding to the bellman of their hotel who opened the door for them. They rode the elevator up to the room and crawled into bed for the day. He was almost asleep when Lucy spoke again, her voice distorted by the fact that the right side of her face was pressed into its usual position on his chest. "Damon, you're not _controlled_ by love. You just give yourself over to it, which is something most people – and most vampires even – are too afraid to do. It doesn't make you weak; it makes you special." She shifted in bed so that she could look up at him. "Which is _why_…we should go to Mystic Falls next."

"Enough, Lucy. Enough."

Lucy sighed heavily, putting her head back down to sleep.

* * *

They decided to go to London next, partly because Damon hadn't been to Europe in decades. They spent a full month there, exploring the city as it was currently while she described what it had been like when she was human. She showed him where her family had lived when they were in town during the Season. The house had transferred to a satellite branch of the family after she had disappeared with Marc and her brother had died childless.

While there, something happened that Damon couldn't explain: he started seeing Elena _everywhere_. Brunettes would walk in front of him, and his breath would catch in his throat. He would trail the women with his eyes, convinced they were her until they turned around. Every single time, disappointment would fill him, and he would promise himself it wouldn't happen again.

Until the next time he saw a brunette.

He couldn't understand why it was happening now and in London of all places. It would have made _sense_ if it happened a couple months ago, when he first left. It would have made sense when they were in New York or New Orleans or somewhere else relatively close to Virginia.

At first he thought that it was Katherine – that his luck really was_ that bad._

Then he figured it was the universe's way of punishing him for all the things he had done, not the least of which was loving his brother's girlfriend.

Ultimately he realized it was because he _wanted_ to see her. It was the same old hope and temptation he had felt since leaving Mystic Falls; it was just manifesting itself in a different way.

Lucy was usually enough to distract him, but today the temptation was too strong. Having thought he'd seen her so many times, he _needed_ to see her now. For the first time, he pulled out the photo he had stolen from Stefan while Lucy went out to get them some blood from a nearby private blood bank she knew of from the last time she and Marc had been in the city. When he turned the frame over to look at the picture, he forced himself to look at Stefan first, wanting to hold off as long as possible before actually looking at her. He smirked at the sight of Stefan in his football uniform, wondering how his brother was doing – if he was finally happy now that he had Elena back, or if he was still struggling with what he was. If he was dealing with Elena being turned into a vampire, or if he was beating himself up over it. If he had forgiven himself for his past.

If he missed Damon as much as Damon secretly missed him…

Damon reached out for his glass of bourbon, knocking back the liquid that had been sitting untouched in front of him. He swallowed heavily, closed his eyes for a moment, then re-opened them, finally allowing his gaze to fall on Elena.

She was just as beautiful as he had remembered. She looked just the same in the picture as she did when Damon closed his eyes and thought of her, proving that time had not dulled his memory in any way. With the tip of his finger, he traced her face, her hair. He exhaled shakily, indulging in the moment even though he knew it would only make the temptation to return a thousand times worse.

She looked so alive, so happy in that picture – exactly how she should look. He wondered how _she_ was dealing with being a vampire now, when it was what she hadn't wanted to be. He knew that Stefan would help her adjust, but he still felt guilty for not being there. Stefan would teach her how to _survive_ as a vampire, but not how to accept it. In many ways, Stefan still hadn't accepted it for himself. He probably never would be able to. But… Elena was like Damon. Neither one of them had _wanted_ to be a vampire, but Damon understood that accepting it was the only way to move forward. It had taken him a long time to accept it, in part because he was still so angry at Stefan. In some ways, he didn't truly accept it until after he had realized that Katherine hadn't loved him. In other ways, he didn't accept it until Stefan had gone off the deep end and he had to help him back to himself. In many ways, he was _still_ accepting it – and probably would need to do so again and again. But the point was, you had to try.

Damon heard Lucy opening the door to their room, and he stuffed the picture back into his bag. He grabbed his glass and put his feet up on the opposite chair, trying to look as normal as possible. She walked into the room, pulled a blood bag out of her purse, and tossed it at him. He caught it one-handed, ripped it open and poured it into his now-empty glass.

"So I was thinking," Lucy said as she shoved his feet off the other chair and sat down. "It's time to go to Paris."

Damon furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I thought you wanted Paris to be the last stop on your 'goodbye tour'."

"I do."

"You're ready for that?"

Lucy hesitated, then nodded. "I love Marc. I will always love Marc. There will never be anyone else for me. But I can't spend the rest of my life saying goodbye to him. I've made up my mind. We'll go to Paris and say goodbye one more time, and then _you_ can decide where we'll go next."

* * *

It was different in Paris than their other stops. They still spent the days sleeping, but now Damon held Lucy close while hot tears streamed out of her eyes and onto his chest. She refused to talk about it, pretending like it wasn't happening. They spent most of the nights apart, as Lucy went to places that held memories that were too personal, too private. Damon ached to be able to help her, but he knew from his own feelings about Elena that sometimes a person had to deal with lost love in his or her own way.

It was hard for him too, being in a city known for love. He would spend his evenings at sidewalk cafés, watching couples strolling the streets and enjoying each other's company. The "what if's" that he felt in L.A. came back with a vengeance, but this time he tried to suppress them instead of entertain them.

He needed to stop thinking about her. It was time to for _him_ to say goodbye too.

* * *

It had been about four and a half months since he had left Mystic Falls, but sometimes it felt like no time had passed at all. Other times, it felt like he had been gone for an eternity.

It was almost dawn when Damon made it back to the foreclosed home they were staying in while in Paris. Lucy was already there, having a glass of blood before going to bed. Damon ran a hand through his hair as he walked through the door, grimacing at the way it – and he – felt. It had been a long night.

"I'm going to jump in the shower. I feel disgusting."

"Good. You smell," Lucy said in a deadpan voice.

"Not as bad as you do," he retorted with a smirk, feeling a little childish but enjoying the fact that she was beginning to laugh again instead of cry. He tossed his jacket on the chair and pulled off his shirt, throwing it at her head and chuckling at the muffled grunt of annoyance. "Feel free to join me, if you'd like," he said in his most seductively playful voice.

"Ewwwwwwwww."

Damon grinned and closed the bathroom door behind him, turned on the shower, stripped off his pants and stepped into the stream of hot water with a sigh. He lost himself in the pleasure of it, running a hand back through his wet hair. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, allowing the water to flow down his face. He heard a phone ring and was momentarily confused, since both he and Lucy didn't really talk to anyone besides each other. He ignored the confusion, though, figuring that she probably had made at least one other friend during her 300 years on Earth.

* * *

Lucy slowly turned to stare at Damon's bag, looking at it as if it was something alien. Frankly, she didn't even think he _had_ a phone, but there was no denying that one was ringing in the side pocket. She glanced at the closed bathroom door, noting that the water was still running.

She should respect his privacy. She really should…

But curiosity got the better of her.

"Oh well," she murmured to herself. "It's not like we have any secrets anyway."

She walked over to his bag, unzipped the front pocket and grabbed the ringing phone. _Jeremy Gilbert_.

"Gilbert, huh?" Lucy raised an eyebrow, even more curious now. With one last look at the bathroom door, she hit the talk button. "Hello?"

A slight pause followed, either from the distance or from the fact that she was answering the phone instead of Damon. "Uh, yeah. Hi," a teen boy's voice finally said. He sounded confused. "I thought this was Damon Salvatore's phone."

"Oh, it is," Lucy said with a scheming smile. "He's in the shower right now, but I will have him call you back _as soon_ as he's out."

Another slight pause. "Oh. Uh. OK. Thanks."

"Thank _you. _Bye," she trilled and hung up, already thinking she might get Damon to _finally_ agree to go back to Mystic Falls, even though she had said he could decide on where they went next. He would just have to decide to go there…

A few minutes later, Damon walked out of the bathroom, trailed by heat and steam. He had a white towel wrapped low around his waist. Walking over to the table, he poured himself a drink and swallowed it with a sigh.

"Who was on the phone?"

She held up the cell phone, relishing the sight of him blanching when he realized it was the one from his bag. "Jeremy Gilbert."


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 10/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 10**

* * *

"Better watch your back. Because I might need to get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder." _– Damon, "Daddy Issues" (2x13)_

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."  
_ – Lao Tzu_

* * *

Damon stared at Lucy, and the look on his face caused her initial excitement to fade into a nervous feeling in her stomach. She had anticipated that he would be confused or upset about getting a phone call from Mystic Falls, but instead he looked _terrified_.

Before she could ask him what was wrong, a mask of indifference settled over his face, and he held out his hand for the phone. She handed it over to him without a word. Damon took it and stepped slightly away from her again, avoiding her eyes. He turned the phone over in his hands a couple of times, staring down at it and hesitating, before quickly punching a couple buttons and holding it to his ear.

Damon tried to not worry too much while he listened to the phone ring and ring. _Life and death…_ That's what he had compelled Jeremy to call him about. As much as he had hoped it would never come, a part of him had always been waiting for this call; knowing Mystic Falls, knowing Elena, knowing his own luck, it was only a matter of time before someone found themselves in a deadly situation.

He should have called Jeremy back. He owed it to the boy, after compelling him and after making him pay the bill these last couple of months. But…he knew Stefan, and Stefan knew him. Damon would know in an instant if it was Elena, so he hit Stefan's number instead. Stefan wasn't answering now, though, and it was making Damon more and more anxious. Finally, mid-ring, the call connected.

"Damon?" For a brief flash, Damon forgot about the panic he felt for Elena and the awkwardness he felt at the fact that he was actually calling Mystic Falls after so long. He had worried that it wouldn't be the same, that what he and Stefan had been building was gone forever. But now, hearing Stefan's voice, he felt instead a longing for his brother that he would never have believed he would feel back when he vowed to make Stefan's life miserable all those years ago. He realized now that, while he had ached for Elena over these last couple of months, in many ways he missed Stefan even more.

"Hello, brother." Damon winced slightly at the sound of his own voice. He had wanted to sound sarcastic and uncaring, but his tone had a weakness to it that unnerved him. He had to force himself to not ask about Elena. About who was dead or dying. If it was her... "What do you need?"

"Hold on a second," Stefan responded. "I'm going to put you on speaker, so Bonnie can explain."

Damon had only a moment to wonder _who else_ was in the room with Stefan and Bonnie. He swallowed quickly, hoping that, as a result, he would sound more like the Damon they knew when he spoke again. It helped that it was Bonnie. As long as it was just her, he could fall back into the familiar steps of their usual dance of derision.

"Damon?" Bonnie's voice sounded odd across the gap of ocean, time, and speakerphone. He couldn't help the half-smile from forming on his lips as he thought about the headstrong girl who had made his life so difficult at times, but who had also been a fearless ally whenever necessary. He respected her more than she'd ever know, but, since certain responses were expected of him, Damon felt obligated to acknowledge her in his typical scornful way.

"Witch."

"Listen, a powerful witch came to town a couple days ago," Bonnie began, as his half-smile faded and his fears resurfaced. He gripped the phone tightly, preparing himself for what he might hear next and feeling powerless being so far away.

Yet a part of him still didn't want to be _closer_. Being closer meant being the bad boy, the outsider, the one who screwed things up because of bitterness and jealousy. After spending so much time with Lucy, he didn't know if he could ever truly play that role again. Or if he really wanted to.

More importantly, being closer meant going back to being the second choice.

Damon dragged himself back to awareness, forcing himself to listen as Bonnie explained about the spell and Caroline needing his blood. Relief went through him that, for once, Elena wasn't the one in danger; he didn't have to worry about her. At the same time, he couldn't help but fear for Caroline. Back when they were together, her apparent vapidity annoyed him, but he had gotten to know who she truly was after she had turned. He hated the thought of this happening to her – or, for that matter, to Liz. If he could, he would drop everything this very second and go help them.

But he didn't know if he could…

"I don't know if that's going to be possible," Damon said carelessly. "I'm kind of far away right now."

The words were out of his mouth before he even consciously thought them. Yes, he could easily blame it on the fact that he and Lucy were in Paris, which was a perfectly valid concern. He could just as easily let them think he was still the same old jackass he had always been; he didn't doubt that they would think so little of him to believe that he would not care about the death of someone he had slept with and had fought evil with. Deep down, he knew it was because he was a coward, but it certainly wouldn't be the first time that he made a decision that he later regretted just to protect himself emotionally.

"Damon," Stefan's voice had a tinge of annoyance to it, cutting Damon to the core. As always, Stefan's righteousness had a way of breaking down Damon's defenses, shaming him as much as it irritated him.

He glanced up at Lucy, who was giving him a knowing, disappointed look. He knew that, with her vampire hearing, she had heard everything as if he had it on speakerphone too. She opened her mouth to speak, and he put one hand firmly over the phone to make it harder for Stefan and the others to hear.

"Are you kidding me? _Of course_, we are going to go."

"Just stay out of it, Lucy!"

"You are _not_ going to let someone die when you could save them, just because of Elena." She pointed a finger at him accusingly.

Damon glared at her for a moment, longing to hide behind his armor of indifference but knowing that, like always, she'd see right through it. He knew she was right. He knew they would go back to Mystic Falls. It was a given as soon as Jeremy had called.

But…if it was going to be uncomfortable for him, then he would make it uncomfortable for Stefan too. He lifted the phone back up to his ear. "Are you sure you want me to come back, Stefan? It would go against the terms of our _agreement_," Damon said in his sing-song voice, feeling slightly disgusted with himself but needing someone else to feel as awkward as he did.

"Damon, just get back here." Stefan said tightly, and Damon smirked in response, knowing he had pierced Stefan with that shot.

"We'll be there as soon as we can," Damon mock-sighed. He hoped that his behavior on the phone had made it clear that he didn't care about them, that he hadn't missed Stefan terribly, that the fact that Elena had chosen Stefan didn't eat away at him constantly. That was the message he had wanted to send… And now that it was sent, he could focus on helping Caroline as quickly as possible and then getting the hell out of Mystic Falls. Again. "Tell Blondie to hang on."

He surprised even himself with how worried he sounded.

* * *

Damon and Lucy couldn't leave right away, as they needed to make arrangements that would allow them to travel without the sun being an issue for Lucy. She told him he should go whenever he could and she would catch up, but he wouldn't hear of it. If he had to go to Mystic Falls again, he wanted her there with him. Therefore, it was almost a full day before Damon and Lucy flew out of Paris. Over the course of that day, he wavered back and forth from being scared to resolute to secretly excited and back to nervous, all of it underscored by a dread for Caroline that he tried not to indulge too much. He spoke very little, and fortunately Lucy was willing to let him sit quietly with his thoughts.

Even though a part of him had always expected to be called back eventually, he had hoped it wouldn't be so soon. He had hoped it would have been years – even _decades – _from now, after he had time to let some of this pain become less…raw. But, equally, he was glad it had come so soon since now he didn't have to worry about waiting for it anymore. It wasn't hanging over his head.

He could handle this, he told himself. It's not like he hadn't seen Stefan and Elena together before. And it would only be for a few days, tops – just enough time to save Caroline and figure out where they'd go next. At least, that's what he had told Lucy, and she had – reluctantly – agreed.

They were flying to New Orleans first, so he could get his car. Lucy would then fly alone to New York to get her sun-proof car. With the flight times and the distances they had to drive, they'd wind up getting to Mystic Falls at roughly the same time.

After what seemed like an incredibly long flight, they landed in New Orleans and exited the plane together. Damon walked her to her next gate, still lost in his thoughts. He was about to leave her when he realized it would be the longest they had been apart from each other since they had met. He had only known Lucy for a short time in the grand scheme of things, but it felt strange going off on his own.

"So…" Damon teased as he shifted his duffel bag farther up onto his shoulder. "Try not to miss me too much."

Lucy shot him an amused look. "Yeah, that'll be a _real_ challenge."

Damon smirked, comforted by the familiarity of their banter. Despite the fact that it was always hidden by sarcasm, the affection was clear in her voice. It felt good, knowing that she was there for him – knowing that she _would_ be there for him in Mystic Falls. For so long he had avoided relationships, hiding behind his waiting for Katherine to be freed from the tomb but really just wanting to avoid being hurt by people he thought he trusted – like Stefan. Elena, Ric, Liz: they had wormed their way into his heart even while he had tried to push them away. Stefan had somehow, surprisingly, become his brother again. But Lucy…Lucy was the first real friend he had _chosen_ to make on his own since he became a vampire. And, inexplicably, she had chosen him too.

Right now, she was watching him closely, as he had once again been lost in his thoughts.

"Thinking about Elena?" She asked quietly.

Damon exhaled through his nose, smiling slightly. "No. You, actually."

"Uh oh. Don't go falling in love with me there, buster," she teased back.

"I'm serious." Damon took a deep breath, almost afraid to say what he was about to say. Every time he had opened his heart to Elena, she had shot him down. He had cared too much, and that was always their problem – at least, according to her. He didn't want to destroy his friendship with Lucy by once again caring more than the other person did. "Listen…uh, I wouldn't have been able to handle these last couple months without you. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you're coming with me."

Lucy smiled, then pulled him into a hug. She whispered into his ear, "Damon, you're stronger than you think. That's one of the reasons I love you so much."

Damon pulled back slightly, shooting her a bemused look. "Now who's the one falling in love?"

Lucy squirmed out of his arms, pinching him in the side in the process. He shied away from the pinch, chuckling. She mock-glared at him and crossed her arms, but she couldn't hold the act for long. Softening, she smiled. "I do love you, you know. I wouldn't have been able to handle these last couple months without you either. And…" Lucy averted her eyes, reaching out to play with the collar of his jacket. She sighed deeply, almost sarcastically, as if what she was about to say was not something she wanted to admit. "As much as I think Elena is an idiot, I can't completely hate her."

Damon scrunched his face in confusion.

"Look, I didn't know you before you loved her, but you've told me a lot about yourself. You've changed. You might not think you have, and you might not be happy about it either. But you _have_ changed. And for the better. You may think that loving her or Stefan, or me makes you weak. But it makes you brave, Damon. I just wish you could see it."

Damon looked over her shoulder, avoiding her eyes. After a moment, he looked back down and caught her eye. He smiled, nodded once and turned and walked away, leaving her to her plane and himself to his thoughts.

* * *

It was actually quite surprising that Damon didn't kill other drivers on the road as he drove from New Orleans to Mystic Falls. He didn't remember a single part of the trip and the first real part of the road that he truly _saw_ was the sign welcoming him to Mystic Falls.

His obliviousness was not caused by thinking about seeing Elena again. Rather, his mind focused on Lucy's words, which, for some reason, had stuck with him. He didn't _quite_ believe that love made him brave because, in many ways, he had never felt as pathetic as when his feelings for Elena had caused him to feel emasculated. But he also knew that, without those feelings, he wouldn't be coming back to Mystic Falls right now. He wouldn't have come back here to save Caroline because, frankly, he wouldn't have cared about Caroline. Or Ric. Or Lucy. Elena had reminded him what it was like to feel for people. Yes, he would always be torn between wanting to be worthy of her and wanting to live the life expected and even encouraged by his nature. But, because of his love for her, he had found a way to make his vampiric urges serve a more…_heroic_ purpose than before.

And he could live with that.

Damon pulled off on the side of the road next to the welcome sign and checked his phone. Lucy had texted him an ETA, and she should be meeting up with him fairly soon. He would then lead the way to the boarding house. He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes for a moment – only to be jerked awake by the sound of her horn honking 15 minutes later. Putting his car back in gear, he drove down the familiar streets, seeing them both as they were now and as they were in the past. He thought back to how he had told Lucy he had yearned to leave Mystic Falls and his father. Now, he realized that he could never truly escape his home; it would always be a part of him, no matter how much time or distance he put between it and himself.

Damon couldn't help the surge of relief that went through him when he pulled into the driveway and didn't see Elena's car. He knew that he would have to see Elena and his brother eventually, but he welcomed the chance to get settled before having to face them. Jumping out of his car, he pointed to an open spot in the garage for Lucy to pull into. From there, she could get into the boarding house without having to go in the sun. He then led the way into the living room, dropping his bag on the couch and looking around.

It was like he had never left…

"Damon?!" The voice was filled with equal parts shock and relief.

Damon whipped around, surprised to see Matt entering the room. Damon shot him a confused look. "What are you doing here?"

The boy pointed back toward the stairs. "Someone needed to stay with Caroline. She's gotten to the point where we don't want to leave her alone anymore, so today was my day to stay home from school."

"She's here?" Damon asked, trying to hide the concern sparked by the knowledge that Caroline was so sick she couldn't be left alone.

"Yeah," Matt nodded. "She's been living here…basically since you left. The Council and everything."

Damon grimaced, tightening his lips and feeling a pang of guilt for leaving town when everything was still so tumultuous. Catching Matt glancing at Lucy, he quickly introduced the two of them and then led the way up the stairs. He walked into the darkened room that had once belonged to Zach, smirking at the new decorations that were so utterly _Caroline_. Focusing on the blonde, he walked over to her bedside, shocked at her appearance. She was pale and clammy, mumbling incoherently in her fitful sleep. The veins in her hands and arms were beginning to pop out, as if she was desiccating in slow motion. She looked nothing like she should, and he couldn't help but miss the bubbly – albeit irksome – way she usually acted.

"Well," Damon announced. "It looks like we have no time to spare. Where's Bonnie?"

Matt pulled out his phone. "I'll text her. She's at school with the others. We've been trying to keep up appearances so no one on the Council guesses what's been going on."

A chirp announcing Bonnie's reply text came shortly, and the witch herself arrived at the boarding house a little bit after that. Damon felt a mixture of relief and disappointment that it was just she who had come, but he suppressed those feelings and reminded himself to focus on Caroline at the moment. Lucy and Matt went downstairs to wait, while Bonnie started pulling out herbs, a small bowl and a grimoire.

"I don't really know what this spell will do or look like," Bonnie explained as she started dumping the herbs into the bowl. She was sitting on the chair next to Caroline's bed and he was standing next to them. "The grimoire wasn't too clear on that. But…" She looked up at Damon and the business-like attitude she had assumed since she had arrived faded, and she was suddenly just a teenage girl worried for her friend. "Thank you for coming, Damon."

Damon half-smiled, touched at the fact that she was actually speaking to him in a pleasant tone. "Couldn't have you hexing me in revenge, if I didn't."

Bonnie rolled her eyes and set fire to the herbs in the bowl. She pulled the open grimoire toward herself and started chanting in Latin. The fire sparked in the bowl, turning a shade of purple before subsiding. In a moment, all that was left in the bowl was a pungent-smelling ash. Bonnie dipped her finger in it, reaching out with her other hand toward Damon's left arm. He obligingly rolled up his sleeve and held it out toward her, and she rubbed her finger along his wrist, spreading the ash over it.

"OK, now Caroline has to drink from you."

Damon stepped closer to the bed, half-sitting on it with one leg while keeping the other foot on the floor. He positioned himself behind Caroline, easing her head off of the pillow and onto his chest as he leaned back against the headboard. He held his wrist close to her mouth, feeling her hot breath on his skin. Leaning forward, he whispered "drink" in her ear and winced as her teeth pierced his skin. At first it was just a slight tug, but soon she started drinking deeply, bringing both hands up to hold his wrist to her mouth. After a minute, he glanced at Bonnie, slightly alarmed. He raised an eyebrow in question, and she just shrugged her shoulders.

Caroline merely kept drinking.

And drinking.

He tried to pull gently away, but she held his arm even tighter. Using the strength that came with his years and health, he forced his arm away from her teeth. "Caroline, you need to take it easy."

With a speed he wouldn't have anticipated she would have in her current state, Caroline whipped around in his arms to face him. She was kneeling in front of him now, with a crazed look in her eyes and his blood dribbling down from her mouth over her chin.

"I need _more_!" She screamed and lunged toward his neck. She drank deeply again, as her fingernails tore his shirt and his chest to shreds. He felt dizzy and weak, as there was now a dangerously low level of blood in his body. Try as he might, this time he couldn't push her away.

He vaguely heard Bonnie shouting Caroline's name as he succumbed to the darkness.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 11/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 11**

* * *

"I get it. He's the reason you live. His love lifts you up where you belong."  
_– Damon, "Let the Right One In" (1x17)_

"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." – _Stendhal_

* * *

Elena walked out of the girl's locker room, once again grateful that she had gym the last period of the day so that she didn't have to worry about how it affected her appearance for other classes. Running a hand through her hair, she headed toward her locker and mentally prepared herself for being around Stefan, since he always waited there for her. She felt guilty having to prepare herself, but it was getting more and more difficult to talk with him lately. It was as if something was in the air around them, waiting to be said – but she had no idea what it was…

He was leaning against her locker, watching her walk toward him with an expression on his face that used to give her butterflies in her stomach but which now left her with a slight feeling of mourning. They shared a smile, and he pushed himself away from the bank of lockers so she could open hers. Elena focused more than she needed to on her combination, hoping he wouldn't realize that something was off.

Although she didn't know how he _couldn't_ realize it…

Elena opened her locker and grabbed books for homework she already knew she wasn't going to do that night. Fortunately, she could still play the orphan card to some extent, which was the only reason she still had somewhat decent grades. She shut the locker door and finally leaned up for a kiss from Stefan, pulling away after just enough time where it wouldn't have been noticeably quick.

Out in the parking lot, they made their way to Elena's SUV, where Jeremy was already waiting.

"Where's Bonnie?" Elena asked, confused since her friend's car was no longer in the parking spot next to hers even though they were in the habit of driving over to the boarding house together after school. Jeremy shrugged, and they all climbed into the car. Elena dug through her purse for her phone, realizing she hadn't checked for messages since before gym class. Sneaking glances at it behind a teacher's back was easy enough in a regular class, but no matter how small a phone was, it was impossible to hide it when wearing a gym uniform.

Glancing at the screen, Elena's stomach dropped and her heart soared simultaneously. _Damon's here._

"She's…" Elena cleared her throat. "She's at the boarding house. Damon is here."

* * *

Elena was pretty sure she had never made the drive to the boarding house so quickly before. She had tried a couple times to blame her nervous excitement on the fact that Caroline was getting the help she needed, but she was pretty sure she wasn't fooling either her brother or her boyfriend.

Stefan hadn't said anything the entire drive. He stared pensively out the window at the passing scenery, occasionally tapping his fingers against the door. The part of her that loved him – and would always love him – wanted to talk to him, to ask him how he felt about his brother returning, to promise him that Damon's return wouldn't change anything between them.

The part of her that…_cared_ for Damon whispered in her heart that she shouldn't make promises she couldn't keep.

Soon, though, there was no time left for talking or for thinking. She pulled into the driveway, parking next to Damon's blue convertible in front of the house. It was a soothing and familiar sight for Elena, who had spent almost as much time in it as anywhere else the summer she and Damon had searched for the missing Stefan.

The sight of another, unfamiliar car parked in the garage was not so soothing.

Taking a deep breath, Elena suppressed the surge of what she had to admit to herself was jealousy. She turned off the car and tugged the keys out of the ignition with more force than the action required. Stefan led the way into his house. Elena dragged her feet; now that they were there, the nervous excitement that had coursed through her the entire drive had mutated into plain old nervousness. She had no idea what she was going to say to him after so long, especially since during their last conversation she had rejected him – again. Part of her wanted to yell at him for leaving after he had promised he wouldn't. Part of her wanted to not say anything and instead just step into his arms for an embrace.

But she could only drag her feet for so long. Elena stepped into the house, her eyes immediately shooting to where Matt sat next to a beautiful young woman.

Of course she was beautiful…

Fortunately, Elena had a bit of a reprieve before she had to decide what to say to Damon. He, Bonnie and Caroline were nowhere to be seen. Apparently the spell had not been completed yet.

Matt and the woman stood as the others walked in. He gestured toward her and cleared his throat. "Guys, this is Lucy Ainsworth." She smiled and lifted one hand in a choppy wave, glancing at all three of them before letting her eyes linger on Elena. Matt first pointed at Stefan. "Stefan Salvatore."

Stefan stepped forward, a hand outstretched. Lucy grabbed it and shook it, gushing about how she had heard so much about him and that it was so nice to finally meet him. Elena, meanwhile, bristled at her enthusiasm, taking an instant dislike to her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lucy. Welcome to Mystic Falls." He paused. "Can I get you something to drink?"

The way he said "drink" struck Elena as odd, and, in that moment, she realized what Stefan had obviously already figured out. Lucy was no easily compelled human that Damon kept around to serve as a walking blood receptacle and sex toy. She wasn't someone who could be easily dropped whenever he got tired of her. This wasn't an Andie situation. Before now, she could tell herself that Damon hadn't _really_ moved on from his supposed undying love for her in only a few months. Now, though, it was hard to deny the aching realization that she had been…_replaced…_

"No, thank you. I'm good for now," Lucy said with a smile before turning her attention back to Elena. "And you must be Elena."

Elena smiled tightly, trying to hide her dislike – and her pain. "Hello."

Lucy merely offered her a smile, which Elena interpreted as a smug one. Lucy turned toward Jeremy and was about to introduce herself when Bonnie's piercing cry shattered the pleasantries.

"Caroline! No! Stop!"

* * *

All five of their heads swiveled toward the stairs. Stefan rushed off and, with the dual advantages of his vampire speed and knowledge of the house, naturally got to the room first. He burst into the room, immediately taking in the sight of Caroline attacking Damon's mangled, bloody body. Bonnie was standing at her side, trying in vain to pull her off. Fear raced through him when he realized that Damon was unconscious and, therefore, unable to protect himself.

He turned back toward the hallway, seeing the others running after him with Lucy in the lead.

"Stay out!" he shouted, slamming the door shut and locking it. Neither Lucy nor Elena needed to see Damon in this condition. Hedidn't want to see Damon like this either, but at least he could spare them from this.

Rushing over to the bed, he shoved Bonnie to the side, grabbed Caroline around the waist and used all of his strength to yank her off of his brother. He forced her across the room, slamming her into the wall opposite in the hopes that the shock of the impact would snap her out of her crazed state. She didn't even register his presence, instead snarling and straining against him toward Damon's prone body. He shook her a couple of times, calling her name. Finally she seemed to deflate and a spark of intelligent thought returned to her eyes.

"Stefan…?" She said softly, bringing a hand up to rub against her forehead. She stared with horror at the blood dripping from her fingernails down to her wrists. She looked back toward the bed and gasped. "Oh my God."

Stefan let her go, convinced that she was no longer a threat. They both made their way back to the bed where Bonnie was now kneeling next to Damon, trying to get him to wake up.

"He needs blood to heal," Stefan said, letting the need for action distract him from the emotions that seeing his brother again – and seeing his brother injured – stirred up in him. He headed back to the door, unlocked it, and opened it just enough to slip out of the room but not enough for any of the others to see in. They were all waiting impatiently in the hallway, staring at him with concern on their faces. He offered them a quick smile. "Everything will be fine. Go back downstairs. Nothing to worry about. I'm just going to grab some blood from the refrigerator in the basement."

Elena, who knew Stefan, could tell that he wasn't telling the exact truth. She opened her mouth to defy him, ready to force her way into the room if necessary. Stefan, who knew Elena, gave her a pleading look that was strong enough to make her capitulate…for now.

Making his way back upstairs with several bags of blood, Stefan forced himself to stop thinking about how Elena was acting so oddly. How she _had been_ acting oddly for the last couple months. He had been reluctant to address it, not yet ready to accept what would happen after he did so. But, now that Damon was here, he knew it was only a matter of time.

Now was not that time though.

He let himself back into the room and ripped open one of the bags. He squeezed the contents into Damon's mouth, smiling when he saw his brother start to swallow. Although Damon was still unconscious, the scratches and bites Caroline had left on his body clearly started to heal and some of the deathly pallor gave way to healthy color. Caroline, who had been anxiously watching from the side of the bed, sighed in relief, and then seemed to finally realize that she was also feeling healthy for the first time in a long time. She turned toward Bonnie, a bright smile lighting up her face.

"You fixed me!" Bonnie grinned and the girls hugged and squealed. When they were done, Caroline wrinkled her nose, looked down at her body, and ran a hand through her hair. "I have to take a shower. For, like, an hour."

Bonnie laughed as Caroline gathered fresh clothes and went into the bathroom. Stefan smiled at Bonnie before they both turned their attention back to Damon, who was now working on the second bag of blood. By the third, he was starting to stir and make noises, and he was able to hold the blood bag on his own. The wounds were all closed now, and Stefan wiped the remnants of blood off with a corner of Damon's torn shirt. There was no saving the shirt, and since it looked expensive and foreign, Stefan anticipated that Damon would be upset about that. After the fourth bag, Damon finally opened his eyes, looking groggily up at his younger brother.

"Stefan?"

"Damon."

Bonnie scoffed, shaking her head at how very _male_ their reunion was. She reached out to touch Damon's shoulder. "I'm sorry about that."

"You owe me one, witch," Damon attempted to joke, but the weakness in his voice failed to pack a punch. Bonnie smiled, then walked out of the room to give the brothers some privacy.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Damon finally half-smiled. "It's good to see you, brother."

Stefan let out the breath he had been holding and returned Damon's smile. He nodded once and stood up off the bed, grabbing the empty blood bags and throwing them into the garbage can by the desk. "You're going to need to change your shirt."

Damon glanced down at his chest, taking in the damage that had been done by his blood and Caroline's nails. He let his head fall back on the pillow and groaned. Stefan chuckled and walked out of the room.

* * *

After Bonnie's cryptically brief explanation that Caroline had been "a little thirsty," she and the others sat in the living room in a tense silence, waiting to see what happened next. They turned at the sound of steps to see Stefan enter the room.

"They'll both be down sooner or later," he said, taking a seat next to Elena. "So…uh, Lucy, how did you manage to find yourself with my brother?"

Lucy grinned. "We met at a bar in New Orleans, and ever since then we've been traveling around together. It's basically been a whirlwind world tour." She paused, catching Elena's eye for a moment before Elena glanced away. Lucy's grin deepened into a smirk. "I guess we just realized we were kindred souls."

Jeremy snorted. "I gotta say, you don't seem that bad."

Lucy let out a sparkling laugh. "Well, neither is Damon."

Elena swallowed heavily. A war raged inside of her. Yes, she disliked Lucy and her annoying laugh and her stupid beautiful face. But with that one statement, Lucy proved to Elena that she saw the _something _in Damon that Elena had seen; maybe he had let Lucy see his goodness too, and Lucy recognized how rare and special that goodness was.

So maybe she wasn't as horrible as she seemed…

"How long have you been traveling together?" Stefan asked.

"Oh…" Lucy scrunched her nose up as she thought. "About four months or so."

A surge of anger went through Elena. Damon and Lucy had been together since almost the time that he had left Mystic Falls. He couldn't even wait a little bit longer than that! He had waited for Katherine for over a hundred years, and he couldn't even wait a full month for her!

_ Apparently I did make the right choice, if that's how much he "loves" me…_

A gleeful voice shouting "Taa daa!" interrupted Elena's thoughts. Caroline burst into the room, clean, healthy and happy. Her arms were spread wide, and she spun in a circle to show off the fact that she was no longer dying. Matt was the first to react. He stood and stepped over to her, embracing her and lifting her high into the air as she squealed. Jeremy took his turn next, and then Elena held her tightly.

"I'm so glad you're better," she said.

"Me too," Caroline replied, giving her another squeeze before letting her go. Elena stepped back from the hug, but another voice behind her caused her to freeze as a flurry of emotions danced around her heart.

"Me too," Damon drawled. "But I'd have to say that that experience will _not_ be in my top ten favorite things to do in a bedroom with you."

Elena hesitated for a moment and then turned slowly to face Damon. Her heart skipped a beat and a rush of desire went through her. He was still in the process of buttoning the shirt he was wearing, and his abs peeked through for a second until his nimble fingers fastened the last button. Letting her eyes travel up from his body to his face, Elena didn't know if she should be upset or relieved that he wasn't looking at her; instead he was smirking at Caroline.

Was he avoiding looking at her?

Or did he just not care _at all_ anymore?

Caroline, too happy about being healthy to be annoyed by Damon's reference to their past, rolled her eyes and laughed. Matt, however, cleared his throat. "Should you be talking like that in front of Lucy?"

Damon scoffed, waving a hand dismissively. "She doesn't care about that."

Lucy smiled and shook her head. "I really don't."

Finally – _finally_ – Damon glanced at Elena, for what to her seemed like the briefest part of a second. No smile, no smirk, no indication in his eyes that seeing her meant _anything_ to him. Just a glance.

And then he was walking past her and pouring himself a drink.

* * *

Damon was grateful his hand wasn't shaking as he poured himself a glass of bourbon. He was_ painfully_ aware of Elena's presence in the room, not even having to look at her to know that she was staring at his back. It had taken all of his strength to act normally when he had walked into the room and saw her again, and he would be damned if he let her or any of the others see that he was still so utterly affected by her. He knew he was overcompensating by practically ignoring her, but that was better than making a pathetic fool of himself like he had done so many times before.

He walked back over to the couch and sprawled out next to Lucy with a sigh. He was still feeling incredibly weak despite all the new blood circulating in his veins, and it felt good to have her at his side. Strength and confidence radiated out from her, and he knew he would need her support more than ever during this first conversation. Damon took a small sip of his drink, then gave Lucy a quick, tight smile. When he caught her eyes, he was surprised to see instead of support a mischievous glint in them. His heart lurched as he realized that she was already planning something, and that the mischief didn't bode well for him.

Suddenly he knew they weren't going to be leaving in a few days like she had promised…

He narrowed his eyes at her, letting on that he knew she was up to something. Her smile deepened into a smirk, and she curled up against him before turning her attention back to the others.

Damon closed his eyes briefly, summoning his strength. He then too turned to look at the others. They were all practically gawking back at him and Lucy, clearly unsure of how to deal with this new relationship. Damon let his gaze rest on each of them briefly, perversely amused at their discomfort. He finally reached Elena, who was now sitting next to Stefan. Her eyes had a glint of anger in them, but Damon wouldn't allow himself to read too much into that. They stared at each other for a moment, and Damon relished the opportunity to finally look fully at her. The sight of her was like a balm to his pain, while, simultaneously, the sight of her sitting so close to Stefan increased that pain exponentially. It hurt to look at her, but it would have hurt even more to look away.

And that's when he realized something odd – the flush of color in her cheeks, the slightly quicker than normal breathing, the throb of her pulse in her neck.

"You're still human," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Elena scrunched her face in confusion. "Yeah, why wouldn't I – Oh! Yes, I never turned."

"But Meredith said…"

Elena nodded. "We have a theory, but we don't know for sure. But whatever the reason, I'm not a vampire."

Damon took a long gulp of his bourbon, draining the glass. He stood to walk over for another. "Well, I'm glad for you," he said, forcing his voice to not show howglad he actually was, which resulted in it having absolutely no emotion at all.

He sat back down and took a sip, nearly spitting it out in shock when Lucy let her hand settle high on his thigh. He shot her a look, to which she responded with an impish grin. He cleared his throat and turned his attention to his brother. "So, what else has been going on around here?"

Stefan explained about the Council and about what was happening with Liz and Carol. "But we still haven't figured out how to fix it, since they all drink vervain and can't be compelled," he said as he finished the story.

Damon stared dumbfounded and a little disgusted at his brother for a moment. _They really can't take care of anything without me, can they…? _He lifted a hand to his forehead, rubbing it for a second. He sighed deeply, then looked up at Stefan again.

"You _do_ realize the Salvatore family is the vervain supplier, right?"

Stefan's eyebrows shot up in acknowledgement. "I can't believe I didn't think of that."

"I can't either," Damon sneered.

Caroline, a slightly hopeful expression on her face, looked back and forth between the brothers. "But you can't just not give them some when they ask for more to replenish their supply. Then they'll suspect you two too."

"We'll just give them a _different_ crushed herb," Damon said slowly, as if talking to a child.

"Thank you, Damon," Elena said quietly. He turned to look at her again, his heart twisting at the soft smile she was giving him – the smile that didn't quite hide the sadness in her eyes. He wondered about that, but he couldn't think of why she would be sad when they now had a plan to stop the Council. The sound of his name on her lips again affected him more than he would have liked, though.

He swallowed heavily and tried to think of something to say that would let her know that he had forgiven her for not choosing him, but that would not make things awkward for her, for Stefan, and most importantly, for himself. He hadn't even truly realized that he _had_ forgiven her until he had seen her again. The pain of rejection was still there and probably always would be, but he ultimately could never stay mad at her.

So she didn't love him as much as he loved her…he could live with that. After all, loving someone was something you did because of who that person was, not because of anything the person felt in return for you.

Before he could say anything, Lucy spoke. "Well, now that Caroline is going to be OK, I hope you will all excuse us for a little bit. I would love a tour of Mystic Falls, Damon."

Damon jumped to his feet, grateful for the opportunity to escape for a little while. Not to mention, he also wanted to ask Lucy what she was planning. He reached for her hand, helping her off the couch. She grasped his hand tightly, not allowing him to release her when she was standing. She tugged on his hand, leading the way out of the room.

* * *

Damon drove toward town. They had taken her car since the sun was still up, and it felt strange to be driving around Mystic Falls in something other than his convertible. However, he was happy to do so if it meant getting away from the awkwardness for a little while.

"So what was that all about?" he asked, shooting a glance over at his friend, who was staring out the window.

She turned to look at him with a sly smile on her face. "I'm sure I don't know _what_ you're talking about."

He snorted. She giggled.

"Well, it was _quite_ clear to me from Elena's behavior that she was jealous of me and of my relationship with you. So I decided to let her think that our relationship is…a little more than what it actually is."

Damon turned his attention back to the road as a stoniness settled on his features. Lucy was wrong; Elena couldn't be jealous. She had chosen Stefan. He couldn't let himself be dragged back into their messed up love triangle. "She wasn't jealous," he said stiffly.

"Uh huh. Sure."

"She wasn't jealous. She's with Stefan. You don't know them like I do. Their relationship is what '80s rockers sing love ballads about."

Lucy snickered. "Whatever you say, Damon." She sighed and slouched in her seat. "Just remember…I'm a girl. And girls know when another girl is jealous."

Damon clenched his jaw and continued to drive, forcing himself to ignore the tiny flutter of hope in his heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 12/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 12**

* * *

"I will always choose you." – _Damon, "As I Lay Dying" (2x22)_

"He is not a lover who does not love forever." - _Euripides_

* * *

Shortly after Damon and Lucy Left, Stefan called Liz, who ran into the boarding house only minutes later. She clearly needed to see for herself that her daughter was OK. The others dispersed to give them some privacy.

Elena told Jeremy they should go home for the evening. Stefan immediately started walking to the car, ready to escort her home like usual. Before she could stop herself, Elena raised a hand, stopping him from getting into the car.

"You should stay here. Make sure Caroline is OK."

Stefan's brow furrowed in confusion. "She's fine. And her mom's here."

"We'll be fine on the ride back, Stefan," Elena quickly said, as if she hadn't even heard him. She leaned forward and pecked the corner of his mouth with her lips. "See you tomorrow."

Elena sat in the driver's seat, careful not to look back at her boyfriend. She knew she was acting oddly, but she couldn't help it. She had to get away from him for awhile. She had to be _alone_ for a little while.

She knew it was just jealousy that was making her feel this way. She really did care for Damon – she had told him as much – and it hurt to see him with someone else. But what she didn't know was why she was _really_ jealous. Was it because she just didn't want someone else to have him?

Or…was it because she wanted him?

Elena knew she shouldn't even be having these thoughts. She had chosen Stefan; she had told herself that she would push aside all feelings for Damon. It was harder to do that now that he was here – with _Lucy_ – but it could still be done. She just needed to be stronger…

But, for tonight, she needed to give in to the pain and the jealousy. And she couldn't do that with Stefan around.

Luckily Jeremy seemed to pick up on her mood. The two of them didn't speak the entire drive home. Elena turned off the car and practically ran up to her bedroom, closing the door and locking it behind her. She didn't even turn on the light as she crossed the room and climbed onto the bed. Rolling onto her side, she clutched the extra pillow to her chest and held it tightly as the tears came.

* * *

When she woke up the next morning, Elena felt horrible. She had cried herself to sleep, and the pillow under her was still damp. She hadn't even changed out of her clothes. Even worse, she realized that her hope that giving in to the crying for one night would get it out of her system hadn't worked. She was still just as upset as she had been, and her heart felt like it was still being torn in two.

With a sigh, she pushed herself up off the bed and dragged herself into the bathroom. She had to make herself look presentable, if she was going to be able to convince herself, Stefan, and Damon that she was fine with the way things were.

She spent longer in the shower than she should have, trying to scrub away her thoughts. Strangely, it wasn't thoughts of Damon and Lucy that were plaguing her; instead it was thoughts of what _could be_. She couldn't stop herself from fantasizing about phantom conversations in her head: one where she told Stefan she loved him but needed Damon, one where Damon expressed his love for her and said he never cared for Lucy at all. In her imagination, those conversations all ended well, with no one's feelings hurt, which obviously could never happen in real life…

The water ran cold long before Elena's mind gave up on its fantasies. Wrapping herself up in her most comfortable robe, Elena walked in a daze back to her room. She jumped back in shock at the sight of Stefan sitting on her bed. Holding a hand to her chest, she tried to calm her racing heart and hoped he couldn't tell by her guilty expression what she had been thinking and crying about all night.

They caught each other's eyes, and Elena couldn't help the surge of grief that went through her. Things had been so much easier before Klaus, before she and Damon had gotten close – back when her fantasies were about Stefan and she didn't feel this conflict in her heart.

Elena thought back to the time Katherine had told her that she had loved both brothers too. Katherine probably thought that she _had _loved both of them, even though it was clear that she had never loved Damon as much as she had loved Stefan. Katherine had used Damon, but she had easily chosen Stefan instead. Elena couldn't help but wonder if the reason she was having such a harder time staying true to her choice of Stefan was that, unlike Katherine, she – deep down – wanted to choose Damon instead.

Damon. Love. The two words didn't seem to belong together. She could never bring herself to use those words to him. She _cared_ about him. That's what she always said both to him and to herself.

But…even if the word wasn't said, that didn't mean the emotion wasn't there.

The realization almost knocked her backwards, and she suppressed it just as quickly. She couldn't think about that right now – not when Stefan was sitting on her bed right in front of her. She had to deal with that first…

Forcing a smile to her face, Elena walked quickly over to Stefan and leaned down to kiss him. She was so wrapped up in her own guilt that she didn't think too much of the fact that he pulled away first. Turning away from him, she grabbed her hairbrush and started to work at the tangles the shower put in her hair. She glanced up at Stefan's reflection in the mirror. He was staring at her, a strange, unreadable expression on his face. When he saw her looking at him, he offered a sad smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Much like he had been the first to pull away from the kiss, he was also the first to look away now. With Stefan not watching her, it was easier for Elena to truly look at him. She watched him look down at his hands and take a deep breath. Her heart clenched as he cleared his throat.

"I think we need to talk about this," he said so softly she could barely hear him.

The words "talk about what" threatened to jump out of her throat, but she bit them back. It was the least she could do for him, to not pretend that everything was OK anymore.

"Elena…," Stefan finally looked up at her again, and his face was twisted with pain. Tears sprung up in Elena's eyes and the fantasy of this all ending with no one hurt vanished for good. "I love you-"

"I love you too," she said quickly, interrupting him. She needed that said; she needed him to know that.

Stefan half-smiled, rubbing his brow. He sighed again. "I know, Elena. I know you do. But…I also know that you're not happy, and you haven't been happy for a long time."

Elena put her hairbrush down, the tangles forgotten, and turned around to face Stefan. She folded her hands on her lap and sat quietly, waiting for him to continue. She was afraid that if she talked again, she would try to stop this conversation from happening.

And – as hard as it was – this conversation had to happen.

"Damon…" Stefan's voice was strained as he struggled with saying the name of the person who almost seemed to be a third person in the room. However, the mere fact that the name was finally said seemed to release some of the tension that had been in his body. He seemed more relaxed now, able to finally say what he had come to say. "Damon is a good man, Elena. I never thought I'd say that, and even a couple years ago, I wouldn't have. I always liked to pretend I was better than him because of the choices I've made and the choices he's made. But…choices aren't the only things that matter. And Damon is a good man. In many ways, he's a better man than I am."

Stefan paused again, taking another deep breath in a clear attempt to gather strength for what he was about to say next. He finally met her eyes again. "If I have to lose you, I'd be OK with losing you to him."

A hot tear trickled down Elena's cheek and she reached up to wipe it furiously away. She felt like vomiting. Wrapping her arms around her stomach, Elena opened her mouth but nothing came out for a moment. Finally, she croaked out around the tears building in her throat, "I can't lose you, Stefan."

Stefan stood, crossing over to her in a couple quick steps. He knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands with his. Looking up at her, he said softly and firmly, "You are _not _going to lose me, Elena. I will always be here for you."

"But…"

"I will _always_ be here for you," Stefan repeated.

"Damon said he would never leave me…"

A tiny, sad smile quirked at the corners of Stefan's lips. "I'm not Damon."

An involuntary laugh escaped around the sobs that were now racking Elena's body. Stefan stood, wrapped his arms around her, lifted her and carried her to her bed. They laid next to each other, his body wrapped around hers, for what seemed like an eternity. Elena's sobs eventually faded, and Stefan surreptitiously reached up to wipe away the tears that had fallen from his own eyes. He didn't want her to know he had been affected to, so that it wouldn't start her crying again.

"Just…don't let him rub it in my face too much," Stefan said lightly, trying to inject a little humor into the situation.

Elena laughed bitterly. "I think you were forgetting something during this whole conversation, Stefan."

Stefan paused for a second, clearly unsure of what Elena was talking about. "You love him; he loves you. What's to forget?"

"He _loved_ me, Stefan. Or at least he said he did. He moved onto Lucy pretty quickly for me to believe that's actually true."

Stefan snorted. "Elena, I know my brother. Maybe he is with Lucy. That doesn't mean he isn't in love with you. He doesn't fall out of love that quickly – we _both _know that."

Elena hesitated, trying to not let his words spark hope inside of her. "He didn't fall out of love with _Katherine_ that quickly, you mean. You've both reminded me a million times: I'm not Katherine."

"No, you're not," Stefan acknowledged in a matter-of-fact voice. "But why do you think I've been jealously warning him away from you for almost as long as you two have been friends…? Even back then, I knew it. I could tell. He loves you _more_ than he ever loved Katherine. And that's what always scared me."

Elena was quiet for so long that Stefan figured she was done talking to him about it. Finally, she pulled herself out of his arms and into a sitting position. Rubbing her hands over her face, she sighed again. "Just drop it, Stefan."

* * *

Sorry for the longer wait for this chapter than usual. Real life might get in the way for the next couple chapters/ days.


	13. Chapter 13

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 13/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 13**

* * *

" There's no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones."  
_– Damon, "The Dinner Party" (2x15)_

"Be the better man." – _Elena, "Daddy Issues" (2x13)_

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out." – _Roy Croft_

* * *

Damon woke slowly, the familiarity of Lucy in his arms contradicting the unusual feeling of being in his own bed. They had gotten back to the boarding house late after their tour of Mystic Falls, and Damon had been happy to avoid yet another conversation with the people he had left behind. He knew it was only a matter of time before he had to interact with them again, but for now, he could pretend it was just him and Lucy again.

His bedroom felt odd, in part because the heavy curtains had been closed against the late morning sun. Damon took a moment to look around the darkened room, and flashes of memories came back to him: the pain-laced sweetness of his goodbye kiss with Elena as he lay dying from the werewolf bite, making wolfsbane grenades in his bathroom. Damon had thought that he was learning how to suppress his love for Elena, but being back here made it all rush back to the surface.

With a sigh, Damon tried to carefully extricate himself from Lucy's embrace, hoping the slight movement wouldn't wake her. Unfortunately, her vampiric senses made that impossible, and she jerked awake with a gasp.

"Sorry"

Lucy groaned, rubbing her eyes and then stretching like a cat. "That's OK."

Damon rolled off the bed and strolled towards his bathroom, calling back to her as he walked. "Have you given up on your plan yet?"

The night before, ever since she had tried to convince Damon that Elena was jealous, Lucy had excitedly been developing what she called her diabolical matchmaking plan. Damon had so far managed to talk her out of a fake engagement, but she was still dead-set on making Elena believe that she and Damon were an item.

"Nope!" Lucy responded with a laugh.

Damon sighed. "You know, I _used_ to think that there was no such thing as a bad plan. Leave it to you to prove me wrong…"

Lucy sighed. "Why are you so sure it's a bad plan?"

Her question remained unanswered as Damon turned on the shower.

* * *

Damon wandered around the boarding house, wondering where Stefan had gone, hoping that it wasn't to Elena's but knowing without a doubt that it was. Lucy sequestered herself in the library, intent on finding a book she hadn't read yet in her long life. As much as he loved her – as much as she had _saved _him – Damon was somewhat relieved to have some time away from her. Since they had come to Mystic Falls, she had been saying too many things that he couldn't handle hearing. He knew her heart was in the right place, but he couldn't allow himself to let her bring him down that path.

And yet he also didn't know if he could bring himself to set the record straight for Elena and Stefan about who Lucy was to him. A part of him – the reckless, wicked part of him that seemed to have disappeared until now – was starting to return. That part of him thought…it might be _fun_.

A slow smirk grew on Damon's lips. Maybe he was right before; maybe there was no such thing as a bad idea.

His sensitive ears picked up the sound of the front door opening. The smirk turned into a full-blown smile as he made his way to the foyer, impishly looking forward to once again keeping a diabolical plan secret from Stefan – even if this one really was more mischievous than diabolical.

The smile fell and the plan to tease Stefan was abandoned when he saw his brother's ragged expression. He didn't want to flat out ask Stefan what was wrong, but curiosity brewed inside of him. Did it have something to do with Elena?

"Brother," Damon said in his most mockingly casual voice.

Stefan gave him a look, then sat down on the couch and stared blankly ahead. Damon's curiosity – especially about whether Elena was the cause of this behavior – faded as concern for Stefan rose. They had managed to rebuild their relationship, which was why Damon had left town in the first place, and he truly didn't want Stefan to have problems.

Damon quietly took the time to pour himself a drink and, almost as an afterthought, poured one for Stefan too. He handed the glass to Stefan and sat down on the couch next to him. Damon took a sip and made a face at the bitterness of the alcohol. Stefan merely played with his glass, appearing as if he didn't even realize it was a drink. Damon watched him for a minute before finally breaking the silence.

"So, how have you been, Stefan?"

Stefan finally looked up at him, snapping out of his daze. He offered Damon a tight smile and finally took a sip of the alcohol. "It's been…strange without you, actually."

Damon smiled. "I am the glue that holds us together," he joked.

Stefan let out a sharp bark of laughter and rolled his eyes. He stared down at the glass in his hand, his smile slowly fading away as the moment of levity passed. Damon, too, fell silent, unsure of what to say anymore.

Stefan cleared his throat. "I was wrong. I never should have suggested that the one she doesn't pick should leave town." He hesitated again, avoiding Damon's eyes. "You and I…we belong together."

Damon sat quietly for a moment. A mocking retort easily came to his lips, but he forced it back down his throat. He was touched, and he would rather say nothing than ruin one of the rare moments where he and Stefan were actually having a good conversation.

Finally, Damon drained his drink, stood, patted Stefan on the back and started to walk away. When he was no longer visible to Stefan, he allowed a true smile to grace his lips. "I missed you too, brother," he said softly, his diabolical plan momentarily forgotten.

* * *

The setting sun shone through the trees as Damon stood, looking down on the graves. Lucy had said she wanted some time to explore the town on her own as soon as the sun set, so he had taken the opportunity to visit Ric. As much as Lucy meant to him, Damon still felt a gnawing ache at the thought that he could no longer talk to his friend. He had watched a lot of people die over the years – and, frankly, most of them he had killed. The faces blurred together, and the screams only echoed in his mind on the rare occasions that he couldn't suppress them.

But Ric…Ric was different. Ric hadn't even been one of his victims, and yet Damon blamed himself. The guilt burned inside of him, whispering to him late at night about all the ways he could have prevented Esther from turning him, the ways he could have made sure Bonnie hadn't gotten to him that night when he was trying to die instead of turning, the ways that he could have realized that something was wrong with the ring long before it had even become an issue. Damon knew that, even if he lived for another 150 years, Ric's face would never blur and the memory of him dying in Damon's arms would never fade.

Damon was lost in his thoughts, only vaguely aware of his surroundings. He knew someone had walked up behind him, but he didn't know who it was. He doubted it was someone who would pose a threat to him, and he hoped ignoring the person would make him or her leave.

A hand touched his back. Damon clenched his jaw before turning to look. His annoyance disappeared immediately when he saw who it was.

"Liz," Damon drawled, a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Damon," she responded with a nod, before turning her own gaze to look down on the graves they stood in front of.

They both stood quietly and companionably for a long time before Liz finally broke the silence again. "Thank you."

Damon shrugged it off. "It was nothing."

"No, Damon." Liz said forcefully, turning to him and forcing him to meet her eye. "Thank you. I can't say it enough." Liz's voice broke and tears sprung to her eyes. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. After a moment, he returned her embrace.

"You're a good man, Damon Salvatore," Liz murmured in his ear. "You're one of the _best _men I've ever known." A wry chuckle escaped Damon's lips, even though a part of him soared at those words. Lucy said it so often that he was almost starting to believe it, but it was different coming from someone else. Even as he secretly acknowledged that he would never be good enough for _some_ people…

* * *

"Wait," Bonnie shouted. "What?!"

Elena glanced around uncomfortably, convinced that someone would hear them, even though Caroline had sworn that neither of the Salvatores nor Lucy was at the boarding house. She hadn't even wanted to come over after this morning with Stefan, but she needed her friends and Caroline couldn't leave until the vervain was out of the Council members' systems. She looked to Caroline after Bonnie's outburst and wasn't surprised to see the same look of shock on Caroline's face. Honestly, it was what she had expected, but that still didn't make this conversation any easier. She sighed.

"Stefan and I broke up," she repeated the statement that had caused their astonished reaction in the first place.

"Why?" Bonnie asked innocently.

Elena crossed her arms and leaned back on the couch, preparing to defend her feelings for a man who had caused so many problems for her two friends in the past. Yes, he had become an important part of their group, but that didn't erase controlling Caroline's mind or turning Bonnie's mom. Unable to look at the other two girls, she looked over their shoulders as she quickly and quietly said, "Because I'm in love with Damon."

After a moment, she finally risked glancing at them, and surprisingly neither girl looked disgusted or angry. In fact…they looked almost a little happy.

"God! _Finally_!" Caroline burst out, throwing her hands up in the air. Bonnie started giggling.

Elena looked back and forth between them, trying to make sense of what she was hearing.

"Elena," Bonnie said, taking pity on her friend. "We know that. We know _you._"

Elena sputtered, her mouth opening and closing a few times. "I know we've talked about Damon and me before. I know you guys knew that I _cared_ for him…but I didn't even realize it was love until a little while ago."

Caroline shrugged. "I guess we're just smarter than you are," she joked.

Elena was silent for awhile, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that everyone but her had managed to figure out what she had been struggling with since the day she had found out Damon had left. When the front door opened and Lucy walked in, she was pulled out of her thoughts by a walking reminder of why it didn't even matter what she felt for Damon.

"Hi ladies," Lucy called out, walking through the foyer toward them. "Isn't it a beautiful night? It felt sooo nice to get out of the house after being cooped up all day!"

Elena had to force herself not to make a face. How could Damon be with someone so…so… _cheerful_? It had to be an act, too. No one was that happy all the time – especially not a vampire.

Lucy ignored the nonverbal signs that she was not welcome and flopped in the chair next to them.

"That must be hard, not being able to go in the sun," Caroline said, uncharacteristically trying to be tactful.

Lucy glanced over at Elena so quickly that Elena thought she might have imagined it. Lucy grinned slyly and stretched. "Well, it hasn't been that difficult lately, since Damon and I tend to stay in bed so late anyway. By the time we get up, it's practically evening again."

Elena felt her hands curl into fists, and tucked them in her lap to make it less obvious.

"Speaking of which, I'm going to go take a shower before he gets back," Lucy announced, springing up out of the chair, giving them a little wave and strolling out of the room.

She was barely out of the room before Bonnie and Caroline leaned closer to Elena, clearly aware that now there was someone in the house who could hear them.

"So what are we going to do about her?" Bonnie hissed in a whisper.

Elena shook her head vigorously. "Nothing," she whispered back.

"What?" Caroline whisper-shouted.

"Nothing," Elena repeated. "We're not going to do anything."

"Why _not?!_"

"Because," Elena hissed forcefully. "Because I chose _Stefan_. I chose Stefan and I hurt Damon. He has someone who makes him happy. I can't take that away from him after everything I've done to him."

Bonnie shook her head. "You may not think you _should_, but you definitely could. There's no way he'd stay with her if he knew how you felt."

Elena shook her head. "I don't know if you're right about that. I mean, did you see him last night? He seemed like _such_ a different person…"

Caroline snorted. "Pretty soon you're going to run out of excuses."

"I'm not trying to make excuses! She brings something out in him that I never have been able to. Yes, I love him. But if I really loved him, wouldn't I want him to be with the person who is best for him?"

"Elena," Bonnie said as if she were talking to a small child. "When we first met Damon, he was a vicious killer intent on making Stefan's life miserable and doing whatever he wanted no matter who he hurt. Now look at him. _You _brought that out of him. This new Damon that Lucy has brought out wouldn't even be possible if it wasn't for you."

Elena let out a little chuckle. "He brought something out in me too, you know. All the fighting and the trying to protect me and the constant annoyance…he made me strong. I can handle this. It will hurt, but I can handle it. Thanks to Damon."

Elena stood and walked out of the boarding house, trying to be buoyed up by the words that even she didn't quite believe.

* * *

I SWEAR that I had the graveyard scene in this chapter written BEFORE last night's episode. My beta can confirm that too… but speaking of which, wasn't that the most amazing scene ever? It was so beautifully sad! And a totally unexpected surprise visitor too.

And, maybe I'm just reaching here, but it freakishly reminded me of my first chapter…


	14. Chapter 14

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 14/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 14**

* * *

"I am not Stefan. How about you stop trying to turn me into him?" – _Damon, "Disturbing Behavior" (3x4)_

"Love is suffering. One side always loves more." – _Catherine Deneuve_

* * *

For the first couple minutes after Elena left them, Bonnie and Caroline vented about Elena's choice to not do anything, convinced that she was making a mistake. They had waited – not so patiently – for her to finally admit she had feelings for Damon, and now that things seemed to finally be progressing, they were annoyed that it wasn't going perfectly.

"Don't get me wrong," Caroline said, exasperated. "I feel bad for Stefan, and I don't want him to be hurt. But _someone _needs to be with the person they love. And clearly that's not going to be me, so it may as well be Elena."

With a loud, dramatic sigh, Caroline fell back onto her pillows. A slight smile flitted across Bonnie's lips as she rolled her eyes at her friend. "So now we're talking about you, huh?" she jokingly asked.

"What's there to talk about?" Caroline grumbled in her most depressed voice. "Tyler's gone, and I've been stuck in this house for so long I don't even remember what Mystic Falls _looks_ like. I'm never going to be in love _again_!"

Bonnie was silent for a moment, feeling a surge of guilt for not telling any of her friends yet about the spell she had done for Klaus. As far as the rest of them knew, Tyler had died as part of Klaus' lineage, and she couldn't bring herself to tell them – especially Caroline – that his body was still walking around, even if it wasn't him controlling it.

And she really couldn't bring herself to admit that she had helped the person they had fought for so long remain alive.

It was tearing her up inside, but while Caroline had been sick, it was easy to shove the guilt aside and focus on helping her friend instead. But now Caroline was better, and this wasn't the first time she had mentioned Tyler's name in passing. Bonnie didn't know how much longer she could live with the guilt, but she also didn't even know how to start a conversation like that.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Caroline's voice, quiet and sad now rather than exasperated. "You know, I had a dream about him when I was sick."

Bonnie's stomach dropped. "Who?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Tyler," Caroline said with a sigh. "I dreamt that he came into the room when I was sick. It was really weird; he was talking about how he wished he could help me but that he couldn't because it wasn't his blood."

_Huh. That explains the grimoire, I guess_, Bonnie thought to herself, even as she realized that, with that new knowledge, she no longer had the luxury of not telling the others about the spell – or that she had texted Klaus to see if he could help with Caroline. It was time to come clean.

Since it dealt so closely with Tyler, though, she felt that Caroline deserved the truth first. Taking a deep breath, Bonnie forced the words out of her mouth. "I have to tell you something, Caroline."

Noticing that something was odd about her friend's voice, Caroline looked sharply over at her. She furrowed her brows in confusion and pulled herself back up to a sitting position. "What's wrong, Bonnie?"

Bonnie launched into the story, feeling guiltier and guiltier at the play of emotions across Caroline's face: shock at the spell, concern at the thought of what was happening to Tyler's consciousness, disgust at the thought of Tyler's body being inhabited by Klaus, anxiety about what this meant for all of their safety in the future, resolve that this situation be taken care of as soon as possible.

Bonnie finished the story, shrinking away from Caroline with the last words of it. She was afraid of how her friend would react, but knew that she deserved whatever came her way. But, surprisingly, Caroline seemed more concerned about what needed to be done next instead of what happened in the past.

"We have to tell the others about this. We have to make sure Klaus can't hurt anyone else."

Bonnie nodded, climbing off of Caroline's bed and leading the way downstairs. Fortunately, Stefan and Damon walked into the house just as they reached the foyer. They were laughing about something, and Bonnie was glad to see that Stefan wasn't going to let Elena's new choice destroy the hard-won closeness that he and Damon had finally recovered. Bonnie wondered if Stefan had even told Damon that he and Elena had broken up yet, or if he was letting Elena handle that.

The brothers' laughter died when they saw the determined expression on Caroline's face.

"What's wrong?" Stefan asked.

After they filled the Salvatores in on the truth about Klaus, the room was silent for a moment. Damon paced, tension just simmering under the surface, while Stefan sat still, looking down at his clasped hands.

"We have to get rid of him once and for all," Damon declared. "We've lost too many people because of him. I'm not losing anyone else."

"And how do you suggest we go about doing that, Damon?" Stefan's voice was testy, the lightheartedness from earlier long gone.

"I don't know," Damon practically shouted. "But we're going to figure it out. Hell, he's in Tyler's body now; he's going to be at least a little bit easier to kill than if he was in his own!"

"No!" Caroline interrupted, turning to Bonnie. "Bonnie, is there any chance to get Tyler back? We can't hurt Tyler's body, if there is."

Bonnie looked at her friend, at a loss for words. "I…I don't know, Caroline. I really don't. I'm sorry."

Caroline stood to her full height, trying to look imposing compared to the glowering, older vampire staring at her in disgusted disbelief from across the room. "We're not going to do anything until we know for sure."

Damon growled in exasperation, walking toward Caroline. "Listen, Blondie, if I get the chance, I'm going to take it," he said, then left the room.

* * *

Damon knocked back the shot and indicated to the bartender to pour another. He avoided looking to his left, not wanting to think about the man who should have been drinking at his side. Right now, all he wanted to think about was how _stupid_ he was for even coming back to this _stupid_ town where every single _stupid_ person made _stupid_ decisions that were reckless just because of some misguided idea of love.

And yes, he fully understood the irony of him condemning other people for being controlled by their love.

Klaus was still alive. Elena was happily in love with Stefan. Lucy was in his life now. All those things together added up to the thought that he should just find Lucy and leave town tonight. He wasn't Stefan and he never would be; so why should he stick around town to save the day? Screw Lucy's plan of making Elena jealous. In the long run, he'd be the one hurt by it. What was that saying about insanity being doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result?

"Hey."

Her voice was quiet and had an emotion in it that Damon couldn't quite identify. Turning slightly, he saw Elena standing by his side. She was as beautiful – and as unattainable – as ever.

"Speak of the devil," he smirked, then knocked back his second shot.

She shot him a confused look, then climbed up on the bar stool next to him. He forced himself to turn his head forward again, pretending to ignore her presence, but he couldn't stop himself from looking down at her hands out of the corner of his eye. She nervously played with the square napkin in front of her, and he felt a slight twinge of petty satisfaction at the thought that she was nervous around him.

"I…" she hesitated, then cleared her throat. "I wanted to thank you again for coming back to help Caroline."

Damon had the distinct impression that that wasn't what she had wanted to say, and he couldn't help but long for the days when they could easily talk with each other. True, that usually meant that she was yelling at him about something, but at least it wasn't this strained politeness.

But, really, it was her fault that they were in this situation in the first place, wasn't it?

Or was it his, for even daring to think that he could actually stand a chance against Stefan? How many times would a woman have to pick Stefan over him until he realized he was never going to be the first choice?

Anger and self-disgust coursed through him. "I didn't do it for you, Elena," he said, his voice icier than he intended it to be.

Elena was silent for a moment. "I know. But I still appreciate it."

They sat side by side for a long, quiet moment, neither of them knowing what to say to break the tension that settled between them. Damon was unsure if he really wanted to break it, or if it would just be easier to keep things this uncomfortable between them. If it was no longer easy to be around her, then he couldn't make a fool of himself again, could he?

"Lucy…seems nice," Elena finally said, and Damon wondered what the slight edge in her voice meant. He glanced over at her quickly, but she was avoiding his eyes.

"She is," he replied, a little wary about where this conversation was going.

"That's good," Elena said softly. A second passed, and then she turned to look at him fully. Damon was surprised to see that her face was raw with emotion. His heart twinged at the sight of it, but he couldn't allow himself to hope that that emotion was what he had longed to see for so long. "I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy."

Now his heart hardened slightly. First she chooses Stefan, and then she has to remind him of that by bringing up the fact that he had – as she thought, anyway – moved on to someone new? It was as if, even though she didn't want him, she couldn't let him forget that he wanted her.

"What do you want from me, Elena?" He asked before he could stop himself. The distraught and confused tone of it embarrassed him.

She reeled back from him, a flash of something in her eyes. She turned quickly away from him again, resuming her previous position of staring at her own hands.

"I want you to have love, Damon. I want you to have passion and adventure. Because you wouldn't be you without those things. But I want you to have peace and friendship too…because you deserve them."

A cold almost-fear settled in Damon's stomach. The first part of what she said sounded way too similar to what he had told her the night they first met, and he was afraid for a second that she remembered it somehow. In light of what she said about things possibly being different if they had met first, he never wanted her to remember that they _had,_ in fact, done so. He wanted that to be his special, secret memory: a memory that he could carry with him long after she was gone.

The most difficult part was that he would never have what she wanted for him, because she would never choose him. He would never have love or peace with her, and any kind of friendship they could have would only be tainted with his suffering at the thought that she would never love him the way he loved her.

His silence must have confused her. Elena snuck a glance back up at him, and Damon snapped himself out of the shock. She couldn't remember that conversation. He had been at full vampire power that night when he had compelled her to forget, and nothing had happened that would have broken that compulsion. He cleared his throat, stood, and pulled out a couple bills from his wallet. He tossed them on the counter for the bartender and looked at her one last time.

"You know what I want, Elena?"

Elena shook her head, staring at him intently in a way that discomfited Damon.

"I want you to get everything you're looking for."


	15. Chapter 15

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 15/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 15**

* * *

"Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny: we were bad ass!"  
– _Damon, "Let the Right One In" (1x17)_

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love."  
― _Sophocles_

* * *

Damon dumped the dried herbs into a mortar, grabbed the pestle and began to grind them down into small enough pieces that the Council wouldn't notice that it wasn't vervain. The members had Carol contact him to renew their supply, which meant they could finally put his plan to gain Caroline's freedom into action.

And as an added bonus, the action of grinding the herbs into miniscule specks allowed him to work out some of the frustration, anger and hurt that had been festering now that he was near Elena again. He was lost in his thoughts as he pushed the pestle down again and again. Lucy startled him when she walked up behind him and rubbed his back, wordlessly offering support without having to be told that he needed it.

He slowly stopped grinding but couldn't bring himself to turn around to look at her. "Thank you for being here," he said softly.

"Of course," Lucy responded.

After a moment of companionable silence, Lucy moved to stand at his side, dragging her hand across his back to his shoulder as she did so. She leaned slightly to inspect the herbs, a smirk on her face. "So, when are you going to deliver the 'vervain' to the Council?"

"Later tonight. It should take a little while for the real stuff to pass out of their systems, and then we can compel them to forget what Alaric told them.

Lucy nodded, then squeezed his shoulder. "Be careful when you bring it. You better come back safe to me."

Damon finally looked up at her, a quick smile flitting across his lips. "Awwww," he mocked her.

She made a face at him in response, turning toward him and fake-punching him in the side. He stood quickly, and in the blink of an eye, they were engaged in a tickling, pinching, laughing blur of a wrestling match. Despite the fact that she was older and had superior strength, she allowed him to toss her over his shoulder and swing her around – only for him to come face to face with Elena and Stefan, who had walked in unnoticed during the middle of their scuffle. The laugh died on his lips and his smile began to fade. Clearing his throat, he gingerly lowered Lucy back down to the ground, and she turned to face them too. She was breathing heavily and leaned against Damon's arm for support – even though Damon knew without a doubt that she didn't need to and was only doing so as part of her "diabolical plan."

Damon reached back and grabbed the mortar off the table behind him. Holding it up, Damon avoided looking at Elena and looked at his brother instead. "I have the fake vervain ready. I'll be bringing it over tonight."

Stefan, who had been staring in shock at the sight of his brother acting in such an innocently light-hearted way, shook himself out of it. "OK. Do you want me to come with?"

Damon shook his head. "I've always been the face of the Salvatore family with the Council. No need to give them any reason to think that you know about the things that go bump in the night."

Stefan nodded. "Be careful."

Damon snorted in derision. "When am I ever reckless?" He shot off his trademark, sarcastic smirk and walked out of the room, patting Stefan on the back as he passed him and avoiding the fact that Elena trailed him with her eyes the entire way.

* * *

After Damon walked out of the room, Stefan looked between the two women, made a transparent excuse about checking on Caroline, and quickly left the room. Elena, clearly uncomfortable at the suddenness of being alone with Lucy, fidgeted for a moment. Lucy had to turn back to the table and pretend to be cleaning up the remnants of Damon's supernatural science experiment to make sure that Elena didn't see the smile that she couldn't keep off her face. Lucy found it incredibly amusing how easy it was to make Elena jealous; she only hated that Damon refused to see it too.

"So, Elena," Lucy broke the silence. "Perhaps you and I should spend some time together. Damon has such good things to say about you; I think we could definitely be friends."

Lucy glanced up at Elena, anxious to see how Elena reacted to the idea of Damon talking about her with Lucy. She was pleased to see that Elena had a slight blush rising in her cheeks – and a slight glint of horror in her eyes at the thought of having to be friendly to Lucy.

"Um…OK."

"Good!" Lucy said, turning to face Elena fully. "Let's go for a walk."

Lucy grabbed Elena's hand, dragging her along while blatantly ignoring Elena's mild protests about how now was not the best time. The two women walked through the woods near the boarding house, and Lucy kept up a steady stream of chatter about her travels with Damon, and about how Damon had said this or that about Elena on those travels. She was secretly thrilled about the nonverbal reactions those stories were eliciting out of Elena: a mixture of jealousy and relief, of resentment and hope. When Lucy felt like she had sufficiently stirred up a maelstrom of emotions in Elena's heart, she finally said the one thing she had been planning to say ever since she had come up with her plan to make Elena jealous of her relationship with Damon.

"Oh, Elena," she sighed deeply. "Why do you have to be so nice?"

Elena glanced over at Lucy, confused by this sudden turn in conversation – and by the fact that Lucy had somehow come to the decision that Elena was nice even though she had hardly talked at all.

"What do you mean?" Elena asked cautiously.

"I mean, I was kind of hoping that you wouldn't be, so that I could hate you." Lucy groaned, feigning an internal conflict that she didn't actually feel.

Elena stopped walking. "Why would you want to hate me?"

Lucy inwardly smirked at the tone of Elena's voice, as it clearly implied that Elena felt like she was the one who had every right to hate Lucy instead of the other way around.

"Because I love being with Damon!" Lucy cried out, not even having to pretend when she said those words. She really did love being with Damon, not only for his ability to make her feel like her world wasn't destroyed without Marc but also just because of the place he had carved in her heart for himself. This conversation – although it implied a romantic relationship between Lucy and Damon – was not completely a lie. She had always known that eventually their adventure would come to an end, that eventually he would go back to Elena. And she had even been the one to encourage it.

But that didn't mean that she was completely OK with him being gone from her own life.

"I _love_ being with him, but I know there's something he's not telling me. And after finally meeting you, I realize now what that something is," Lucy raised a hand to her mouth, letting out a fake, violent sob. Then, she rushed off with her vampire speed so that she could be long out of Elena's earshot before that fake sob turned into a peal of giggles.

In many ways, this diabolical plan was just way too much fun.

* * *

"Thank you, Damon," Carol Lockwood said. "I'm sure I speak on behalf of the Council when I say we appreciate how you're always willing to bring us more vervain when we need it."

The other Council members sat in the shadows behind her, content to let everything seem normal by having Carol continue her role as the figurehead of the group.

"My pleasure," Damon drawled in his most pleasantly charming tone. "I would hate to think what would happen to this town if the Council didn't have some way to protect themselves from vampires. It's certainly the least I could do for the town my ancestors helped found."

Damon avoided looking over at Liz, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. He knew that, if he did, the amused expression in her eyes would make him smile in response. He couldn't do anything that would make the Council suspect that something was off.

"If only more people had your sense of civic duty," a random Fell piped up from the back, clearly implying his dislike of Carol and Liz. Damon resisted the urge to snap his neck, which he wanted to do not only for that comment but also because the idiot must've read a little too much fiction because he reeked of garlic. Instead, he merely offered a tight smile and nodded his head as if in total agreement.

Making his excuses, Damon cut out of the Council meeting early, but instead of going straight home, he headed to the Grill. He didn't know why either – he, for once, didn't really feel like a drink, Lucy was waiting for him at home, and going to the Grill always involved the risk of running into Elena or one of her annoying friends. Yet, somehow, he felt drawn there, and he had been alive long enough to know that sometimes one had to follow his instincts.

He was almost there when a whimper of pain emanating from the dark alley caught his attention. Stopping, Damon turned to look, trying to pierce the shadows with his powerful vision. He could make out a lump and easily recognized the sight of a vampire feeding on its prey. With the usual twinge of self-disgust for being a knight in shining armor, Damon called out and rushed into the alley. By the time he reached them, the vampire had pulled back from the woman, who was too frightened to run even though she now had the chance.

Damon stopped in his tracks when he recognized the vampire: Tyler. Or, more accurately, Klaus.

"Damon Salvatore!" It was a little surreal to hear the tone of derision that was so utterly Klaus in Tyler's voice. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Klaus," Damon said coldly, his mind racing to come up with some kind of plan of attack. He wasn't ready for this confrontation; he hadn't been expecting it. "Have you done something differently with your hair?"

Klaus chuckled, lifting one hand up to wipe away a lingering trace of his victim's blood from the corner of his mouth. "You know, mate - "

Klaus' retort was interrupted by the surprise of a flashlight's beam flickering down the alley toward them. The light didn't quite reach them, but it was enough to let the deputy know that someone was back there.

"Hey! What's going on back there?"

That was enough to shock the woman back into awareness. She opened her mouth and let out a shriek of terror. Klaus reacted quickly, shoving her into Damon's arms and rushing away. Damon swore under his breath and let her drop to the ground. He, too, began to rush off, but the delay caused by Klaus' actions was long enough for the deputy to react.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Damon's superspeed had him safely away in a matter of seconds, and it was only then, with the adrenaline starting to dissipate, that he realized the bullets in his back hurt even more than usual. Yes, it always hurt getting shot, but the advantage of being a vampire meant he healed quickly – especially with a little bit of fresh blood. But something was wrong with these bullets. They burned, and pain radiated out along his nerve endings from each of the bullet holes. Breathing heavily, he hunched over, trying to figure out what was wrong.

One of the bullets was in his side, and he dug his fingers into his own wound. Grimacing in pain, he pulled the bullet out. He stared down at his bloody hand and realized what the problem was: wooden bullets.

Unfortunately, the other two bullets had hit him in that inconvenient spot on the back that he couldn't reach on his own. He needed help getting them out, and he was feeling weaker and weaker with every passing moment. He knew he wouldn't make it back to the boarding house before passing out from the pain, so he needed to go somewhere closer.

Elena's.

Breathing hard, he stuck to the shadows as he made his way toward the Gilbert house, not wanting to draw the wrong sort of attention. He was in so much pain that he didn't even have time to think about the issues he had with Elena and her rejection of him. He just needed to get these bullets out; at this point, it wouldn't have mattered who it was that helped him. When he got close to the house, a wave of relief washed over him when he saw the lights blazing in the living room window. It hadn't even occurred to him to worry about someone not being there.

Stumbling up the steps, he almost crashed into the front door. When he tried to turn the doorknob, he was shocked to find that it was actually locked. Normally he would have been happy to see that Elena was finally taking some precautions for her safety, but now it was just another impediment for him. He didn't even have the strength to break the lock, so he had to settle for leaning on the doorbell. He could hear it ring inside the house, followed by a faint "coming!" from the upstairs landing.

A moment later, Elena opened the door. He caught a glimpse of shock and concern on her face before he stumbled forward into her arms. She caught him with a muffled grunt, and inwardly, he had to find amusement in the fact that this was the first time they had really touched since he had come back.

"Damon!" She said, and he could hear the worry in her voice. If he wasn't in so much pain, he might have appreciated that she actually did care enough about him to at least be anxious for him. But right now, all he could think about was the sharp, throbbing agony.

She struggled under his weight as she helped him into the kitchen, and he tried to help her as much as possible. Now that relief was in sight, he was starting to think clearly again. Grimacing, he shrugged out of his coat, with her help.

"What happened?" Her voice was distraught, and now instead of being appreciated, her concern almost irritated him. Why was she concerned? She didn't love him. She didn't choose him. She shouldn't sound so upset; she had no right. A surge of bravado rushed through him.

"It's nothing," he said through gritted teeth. "I just can't reach it myself."

Elena stepped in front of him, her hands going quickly to the buttons of his shirt. He caught a glimpse of her expression, and he saw something in it that he couldn't identify. Yet seeing it somehow hurt him more than the bullets did. His stomach flipped at the color in her cheeks, the brightness of her worried eyes, the quickness of her breath. Damon sat almost-frozen as she quickly unbuttoned his shirt, and when her knuckles brushed against his stomach, he inhaled sharply from an inexplicable rush of painful pleasure.

She mistook that for a gasp of pain, and she froze in the act of pushing the shirt off his shoulders. "Are you OK?" she asked sharply, unsure of whether she should continue.

He was more than OK. In fact, he could have lived through far worse pain as long as this moment never ended. But he couldn't tell her that…

He smirked. "You should see the other guy," he bragged, trying to sound like a bad ass instead of someone who had clearly come out of the altercation with the worst injuries. His joke netted exactly what he hoped it would: Elena rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop the slight smile from blossoming at the corner of her lips.

A flash of desire went through him, and it was all he could do to stop himself from pulling her into a kiss. He firmly reminded himself that that wasn't an option; that he had resolved to honor her choice of Stefan. He couldn't do things like that anymore.

Fortunately, she moved behind him to examine his wounds. The brush of her fingers against his tender skin burned more than his injuries did, and he closed his eyes to relish in the feel of them. When she dug those fingers in to pull out the bullets, though, it was no longer enjoyable. He couldn't help the grunt of pain. She murmured "sorry" over and over again until she had pried both remaining bullets out of his back.

Elena moved to stand in front of him again. "I'm sorry; I don't have any blood bags here for you."

Damon shook his head, waving off her concern. "I should be OK now. I'll just head home and drink something there."

Determined to get out of there before he did something that he would later regret, Damon stood quickly – quicker than he should have given what he just went through. Dizziness washed over him, and he fell back onto the stool with a thud. When his vision cleared, he was shocked to see Elena holding her wrist in front of his mouth.

"No," he said vehemently.

"You need something, Damon," she responded just as firmly, reminding him of all the other fights they had over the years. Why did she have to be so pigheaded?

And why did he have to find that pigheadedness so damn irresistible?

"I won't drink from you, Elena."

She shot him a frustrated look before stepping away. For a moment, Damon was surprised that she backed down so quickly, but then he realized that she had just moved slightly away to grab a knife from the block. Stepping back in front of him, she pressed the blade down on her wrist. Immediately, a thin line of scarlet popped up on the whiteness of her skin, drawing his eyes with an almost magnetic force. He swallowed heavily as he watched her lift her arm again, putting her wrist back in front of his mouth.

Damon caught Elena's eyes, which were challenging him to say no again. He continued to hold her gaze as his own hand slowly rose and his long fingers wrapped lightly around her wrist. When his lips closed around the pulse point of her wrist, his eyes fluttered shut not only at the taste of her blood but also at the taste of her skin. He swallowed a few times, glorying in the hot liquid trickling down his throat. He drank only enough to regain his strength, then pulled back again. He didn't drop her wrist though; he wasn't quite ready to let the moment pass yet. Their eyes met, and it seemed like time froze.

Damon could have sworn that she was leaning closer and closer. She seemed to be mere inches away from him now, and he could feel the soft brush of her breath against his lips. He was sure he was imagining it, but he didn't want to do anything that would break the spell of that fantasy. He could feel her blood coursing through him, and he was vaguely aware of the fact that he was breathing heavily. But that was in the background compared to what he was truly aware of: the redness of Elena's lips, the faint smell of her perfume, the rapid flutter of her pulse at her jugular, the fact that her other hand had somehow ended up lightly resting on his chest.

He was imagining this. He had to be imagining this.

The front door opened with a bang. "Hello?" Jeremy called out.

Damon snapped out of his daze, grateful that Jeremy had interrupted before he had made a fool of himself by misinterpreting Elena's act of kindness for something that it wasn't – for something that it never would be.

He mumbled a quick thank you, grabbed his shirt and jacket, and escaped out the back door.


	16. Chapter 16

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 16/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 16**

* * *

"Why don't you let people see the good in you?"  
"Because when people see good, they expect good. And I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations."  
_- Elena and Damon, "Heart of Darkness" (3x19)_

"You've got to dance like nobody's watching and love like it's never going to hurt." – _Victor Hugo_

* * *

Damon looked at his reflection in the mirror, deftly tying his bowtie as he prepared for … whatever ball the Founders were hosting this week. He had lost track. All he knew was that it was the perfect time to compel the Council members, as the fake vervain had been delivered almost a week ago. He hadn't told Lucy this yet, but he intended to leave town immediately after the ball. The other night with Elena had been too awkward – he had avoided her ever since, actually – and he wanted to leave before he was sucked back in for good.

He hadn't told anyone actually, not even Stefan. He knew he should. This time, he…they… deserved a goodbye. Maybe even saying goodbye would make it better for him too, as it would let him come to terms with some things instead of basically running away like last time. But he knew deep down that he wouldn't say goodbye; he was sort of afraid that they'd try to talk him out of leaving.

And he was even more afraid that they wouldn't.

Lucy walked out of the bathroom in her slip, pulling Damon out of his thoughts. She walked over to his bed, where a sky blue gown was laid out waiting for her. She stepped into it, then walked over to join Damon in front of the mirror.

"Pretty sexy, Salvatore," she said, running her hand over his tuxedo-clad back. "Elena's going to love it."

Damon glanced down at her, rolling his eyes. "She's seen me in a suit before, Lucy." Damon finished with his tie, then moved to stand behind Lucy to zip her dress up. "And you look beautiful. As always."

Lucy jokingly tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "I know," she teased.

Damon smiled, bringing his hands up to squeeze gently at her bare shoulders. "Listen," he said softly and seriously. "I think tonight, after the ball, we should head out of town."

Lucy whipped around, giving him a dark frown. "No." She held up a hand to stop him from speaking further, and he obediently closed his mouth instead of arguing with her like he was about to do. "I know the other night … disconcerted you, but I really don't think you were imagining it. We're _so_ close, Damon. I can feel it. We can't give up now."

Damon sighed, stepping away from her. "Lucy…"

"Damon, I want you to be happy, and I'm not letting you run away from this opportunity just because you don't feel like you deserve it."

He shot her a confused look, clearly disagreeing with her assessment of what he felt.

"Don't even bother to deny it. You know I'm right." Lucy said, grabbing her wrap and leaving the room.

* * *

Elena's stomach flip-flopped as she heard the sound of footsteps descending the stairs. They were all at the boarding house to do a last minute planning session before the party, and Elena was nervous about seeing Damon again after their moment in her kitchen almost a week ago. She didn't know what he had thought about that, primarily because she had been avoiding him. It was getting more and more difficult to stick to her resolution about not getting in between him and Lucy, especially since she replayed that moment in her head constantly.

If Jeremy hadn't come in when he did...

She didn't have any more time to think about hypothetical situations: Lucy walked into the room. Her satin dress draped over her curves in a way that made Elena feel woefully inadequate, despite the fact that she had scoured all of the nearby stores to find the most beautiful dress she could for the evening. With a pang in her heart, Elena pulled her eyes away from Lucy – only to find herself looking into Damon's clear blue eyes. She glanced down to take in the sight of him in his crisply pressed tuxedo that perfectly matched the black of his hair. Swallowing heavily, she looked back up into his eyes, pleased and a little relieved to see that he was still looking directly at her as if he was frozen.

Maybe her dress wasn't so inadequate after all…

Elena turned away, in part to hide the small smile that had blossomed on her face. The smile dropped when she saw Caroline curled up on the couch, scowling in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. She had been pouting all day that she was missing out on yet another town event, and even the thought that she would soon be freed from her house arrest didn't make up for the fact that the other girls got to dress up in pretty clothes while she had to stay inside. Again. Elena felt bad for her friend – and guilty that they hadn't thought of this solution on their own a long time ago. She reached over and squeezed Caroline's hand affectionately.

Caroline snapped herself out of her funk, glanced over Elena's shoulder, smiled, then leaned forward to whisper in Elena's ear. "He can't take his eyes off of you."

Elena shot Caroline a look, afraid that Damon could hear with his vampire senses, but she couldn't help the flutter in her heart caused by Caroline's words. Stefan walked into room, giving her the opportunity to push aside the spark of hope and focus on business instead.

"Lucy and I will take care of the compulsions since we're the strongest," Damon announced, his voice firm and business-like. "The rest of you will be in charge of keeping the Council members away from each other until we've gotten to all of them."

Elena watched Damon offer the crook of his elbow to Lucy, who stuck her hand through it and smiled up at Damon with a sparkle in her eyes. Elena couldn't help but think about Lucy's utter devastation when they were in the woods the other day, when she all but said that she thought Damon was in love with Elena. As much as Elena hoped that was true, she did feel slightly guilty about it too.

The look in Damon's eyes as he glanced down at Lucy held a softness in it that Elena had never seen before; he certainly never looked at her that way, and it made her think that maybe Lucy was wrong. Maybe Caroline and Bonnie and Stefan were wrong too. Maybe Damon had moved on, and she had just been imagining that that moment in her kitchen had meant anything.

And the thing was, if he had moved on, then she couldn't really be mad at him. Yes, it hurt but it was also her fault. She had jerked him along for such a long time, leading him on then acting as if he was crazy for thinking that she had feelings for him. Kissing him, then basically ignoring that she had done so. Saying she cared for him, then choosing Stefan. So many times she had accused him of morally bankrupt actions when, in some ways, she was no better.

She had asked him once why he didn't let people see the good in him, and he said he didn't want to live up to anyone's expectations. Elena realized now that, for so long, her expectations for Damon had always been too low; she always expected him to be evil, to be selfish. And because she expected it, that's what she saw. In reality, his actions may have not always have been what other people would have called "good," but they had almost always been necessary. In reality, she was the one who had failed to live up to her own expectations of what it meant to be a friend, but she had been too busy pointing out Damon's shortcomings to recognize her own.

And now she was paying the price for it. Lucy was with the man she loved, and Elena was alone, watching them and regretting that she hadn't seen the goodness in Damon long before finding out what he had done for Rose.

Maybe things would be so much different now, if she had.

* * *

Elena played with the glass of water in her hand, trying to watch Damon out of the corner of her eye without being obvious about it. The ball had only been underway for a little while, but so far Damon and Lucy had already managed to compel half of the Council members. It was amusing to watch their method: it was like a dance in itself as they flitted from one member to the next, weaving around the room and in between groups of people. They had even started keeping score on who was able to reach the most members, holding up fingers at each other to keep count after every compulsion.

It was over quickly, bringing all the fears and problems of the last couple months to an anticlimactic end. A weight lifted off of Elena's shoulder. She glanced up to find Stefan giving her a look.

"What?"

"Have you talked to him yet?"

Elena averted her eyes and avoided answering his question.

"You know, I didn't end things with us just to have you do nothing. I did it because I wanted you to be happy."

Elena took in a deep breath, turned back to look at him and offered a bright, cheery smile. "Let's dance." She placed her glass on a passing waiter's tray, grabbed Stefan's hand and dragged him out onto the floor, ignoring his exasperated sigh – and ignoring the fact that Damon and Lucy were wrapped in each other's arms just a few feet away. Elena tore her eyes away from them and looked over Stefan's shoulder instead, blinking back tears. She was so studiously ignoring them that it came as a shock to glance over and see that, somehow, they were now right next to each other. She risked a glance at Damon, but he was staring straight ahead with a clenched jaw. Elena glanced away, wondering why he was upset.

"Mind if we swap partners, Damon? I would love to get know Lucy a little better," Stefan's voice startled Elena out of her thoughts, and her jaw nearly dropped at his betrayal. She didn't have time to object, though, as Lucy was already out of Damon's arms and moving toward them, a huge grin on her face.

"I would _love_ to swap partners, Stefan. Great idea."

Lucy stepped into Stefan's arms, and he whisked her away. Elena and Damon stood slightly apart from each other, both unsure of what to do next. They were in the middle of the dance floor and couldn't easily just walk away, so there was really only one thing they could do. After a tense, silent moment, Damon cleared his throat, stepped forward, slid one arm around Elena's waist and grabbed her hand. Their bodies just barely brushed against each other, far enough away for the propriety the dance required but just close enough to feel the electricity sparking back and forth between them. Elena inhaled a shaky breath, closing her eyes to take in the scent of his cologne.

Elena kept her eyes closed, letting the music wash over her and completely trusting Damon to move her safely around the dance floor. His arm was strong; his hand splayed out against the skin of her back. Gently, slowly, his thumb moved up and down, sending tingles down her body. Elena thought back to the first time they danced together, during the Miss Mystic Falls competition, and how it had unnerved her in a way that she hadn't wanted to explore too much back then. Now, she knew that dance was the flint that first sparked her love for Damon.

Elena opened her eyes, finding the courage within herself to look up at Damon to see if any of the magic from that first dance was still there, or if it was all reserved for Lucy now. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized that he was staring down at her with the same intensity that he stared at her that day. The fire behind the blue of his eyes consumed her, and she couldn't look away. They finished the dance never breaking eye contact, without saying a word.

The music faded as the song came to an end, but they stayed in each others' arms for a moment afterward. Elena wanted to say so many things in that moment – that she was sorry, that she was so happy that he had come back to town, that she could try to accept it if he was happy with Lucy, that she secretly hoped he wasn't happy with Lucy.

That she loved him. That she wanted him. That she couldn't stand the thought of being without him again.

That she chose him.

She opened her mouth, feeling like she had to get the words out now before they burned her up from the inside out. She felt guilty knowing that what she was about to say could destroy what he was building with Lucy, but she also knew that she lied to Bonnie and Caroline: she wasn't strong enough to let him go without a fight.

"Well, there you are," Lucy called out, coming up next to the two of them.

Elena jerked backward out of Damon's arms, stammering out a couple words that didn't even make sense to her, and practically ran from the dance floor.

* * *

Bonnie put her car in park and killed the engine. When it was clear that the compulsions would work without any magical help from her, she had made her excuses and left the ball. She wanted to celebrate with Caroline – not to mention that, if she had to watch the soap opera that was Elena, Damon, Stefan and Lucy one more second, she would go insane.

Walking toward the front door of the boarding house, she began to have an odd feeling – like someone was watching her from the shadows. She turned around in a circle, trying to see something in the darkness and wondering if she was sensing something physical or something magical. Just when she was starting to think she was imagining it, she saw one of the shadows start to move toward her. It got closer, and she realized what it was.

"Klaus."

"Hello, Bonnie."

"What are you doing here?"

Klaus didn't answer until he had finished making his way to stand next to her. He glanced at the front door of the boarding house with an unreadable expression on his face, then looked back down at Bonnie.

"Just came by to see how things were going."

Bonnie nodded once, fighting an internal battle with herself: she was grateful for the help Klaus had provided in finding the grimoire that saved Caroline's life, but she couldn't forget that he was responsible for so much pain. Just looking at him in Tyler's body was a constant reminder that he was still hurting them even now.

"Caroline's better. Thanks," she said stiffly, clearly implying that it was not something she felt comfortable saying to him.

Klaus smiled briefly. "I'm glad to hear that." He hesitated for a second, glancing once more at the door. "You want to know how you can repay me – and get me out of your hair for good?"

Bonnie shook her head, already knowing what he was going to say. "No! I lied to my friends for months about the last spell I performed for you. I'm not going to do it again – and I'm especially not going to do a spell that will put you back in your all-powerful hybrid body!"

Klaus smirked, crossing his arms. "You'd get Tyler back," he offered in a sing-song voice.

The door jerked open to reveal Caroline. "Do it, Bonnie."

"Caroline! I can't. What happens when he comes back to kill more of us? Or to get more of Elena's blood for his hybrid army?"

"We'll deal with it then," Caroline said firmly, crossing her arms.

Bonnie looked back and forth between them, torn between wanting to help Tyler for Caroline and wanting to avoid doing a spell that could cause such terrible and unknown repercussions. Caroline continued to glare at her resolutely until Bonnie sighed. "Fine!"

The three of them left, knowing that the best place to perform the spell would be anywhere that a Salvatore would not find them.

* * *

Damon watched Elena run away from him and Lucy. There was no way he imagined it that time. He couldn't deny it any longer: there was still something there.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Casanova?" Lucy encouraged him. "Go after her!"

Damon glanced down at her and smiled with a twinkle in his eye. He stalked off after his prey, forcing himself to not use his vampire speed; he didn't want to have to re-compel all the Council members, after all. He caught up with her in the library where the Founder's records were kept. She was leaning on the table, using it for support as she sobbed.

"Elena?"

She whipped around to face him. His heart broke at the sight of the tears streaming down her cheeks, but at the same time, he rejoiced to see that she actually did have feelings for him.

But were those feelings _enough_? Or did she still just "care" for him but _love_ Stefan?

He couldn't worry about those questions right now. He could no longer stop himself from doing what he had wanted to do since coming back to Mystic Falls. He rushed across the room, taking her in his arms and pulling her into a searing kiss.

* * *

Elena melted into Damon's arms, losing herself in his kiss. The tears were still falling from her eyes, but now they were tears of joy. Her body burned wherever his hands touched, and she couldn't seem to get close enough to him. Their lips and tongues battled for dominance, and she smiled inwardly as the thought that, even when kissing, they were also fighting.

She knew this moment, this kiss, was just a start. She had so much to make up for, and she was so grateful that he was giving her a chance to do so.

The almost vicious kiss gentled into something a little more tender and soft, and Damon's roving hands slowed to a stop to hold her close and tight. Elena dragged one hand down from around his neck to rest on his chest. She pulled back from him with a shaky breath, but feeling a little shy, she couldn't bring herself to look up at him yet.

Earlier the words wanted to pour out of her, but now she didn't even know how to start. What could she possibly say to make up for the way she had treated him?

"Damon," she whispered. "I…I'm sorry…I…"

Damon pulled back from her, and suddenly the magic of the moment vanished. She looked up and was shocked to see that his face was empty of all emotion.

"No, I'm sorry. You're right. It won't happen again."

Damon rushed out of the room while Elena was still trying to figure out what had just happened.


	17. Chapter 17

**Title:** Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 17/17  
**Author: **EdieZee  
**Rating: **PG-13, possibly R later  
**Based on:** TV series  
**Relationships:** Damon/Elena  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.  
**Summary: **As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.

**Chapter 17**

* * *

"You should have met me in 1864. You'd have liked me."  
"I like you now. Just the way you are."  
_– Damon and Elena, "As I lay Dying" (2x22)_

"It's right. It's just not right now." _– Damon, "Our Town" (3x11)_

"Love conquers all." – _Virgil_

* * *

Lucy swore under her breath when she saw Damon storm out of the library and head toward the front door of the Founder's Hall. She loved Damon and she wanted him to be happy, but this whole thing was getting a little old. She had never seen two people so completely in love yet so completely oblivious to how the other person felt. It was time to stop playing games and just smack Damon repeatedly until he saw what he was too blind to see.

She moved quickly through the crowd, hindered by her dress and heels. Slipping out into the cool night, she paused briefly to lean against the door frame and slip out of her shoes. Grabbing them with one hand, she used her other hand to hitch up her skirt and rush off after Damon.

By the time she got to the boarding house, he was already in his room, his duffel bag open and half-packed on his bed.

"Running away again?" She asked, knowing the phrasing would irk him.

As expected, he whipped around to glare at her. "I am _not_ running away."

"What would you call it then? Because what I see is someone who's afraid to be happy."

Damon snorted, turning back to his packing.

"It's true, Damon. All your life, you've been mad – at your father, at Stefan, at Katherine, at Elena. And rightfully so. But you have the chance to be happy now, Damon, and you don't know how to be that person. I get it; it's scary to finally get what you've always wanted. It's easier to be the bitter, lonely, angry person you've always been. But if you run away again, then the only person you should be mad at this time is yourself."

Damon had frozen while she was talking, the shirt he was packing hanging forgotten from his hand. The tension was visible in his shoulders, and Lucy walked over to rub them. He almost jerked away from her touch, but after a moment, he relaxed into it and the tension started to fade slightly. Finally, he turned to look at her, and Lucy's heart broke at the pain, fear and uncertainty in them.

"I can't go through this again," Damon said softly. "I can't have her tell me no again."

"How do you know she's going to say no?" Lucy had to force herself to keep the exasperation from toughening her voice. She had never seen Damon so fragile, so skittish, and she couldn't help but hate Elena a little for making him feel so unworthy. But now was not the time to force him to see the truth of what Elena so clearly felt; instead it was the time to try to get him to finally see the truth about himself and what he had to offer the world.

"Because she just did."

That threw Lucy. She scrunched her face in confusion. "What?"

"She just rejected me – again."

Lucy shook her head forcefully, refusing to believe that had actually happened, that she had been so wrong about Elena's feelings. "What happened?"

Damon finally dropped the shirt he was still holding, turned, and sat down on the bed. Lucy joined him, still keeping one arm around his back. Slowly, almost as if it was being torn out of him, Damon told Lucy about the kiss and about how Elena's first words after it were the start of an apology.

"I should never have tried again. I know she's never going to choose me. I was an idiot for doing what I did. I just…I was so _sure_ that there was something there tonight. I could feel it, and I could've sworn that she felt it too."

Lucy was silent, pensive. The hopelessly romantic side of her wanted to speculate about other reasons for Elena's behavior: reasons that would make sense and show that it was actually good for Damon. But she had to force herself not to share any of those speculations out loud. She didn't want to be responsible for giving Damon false hope, in case Elena actually was still too clueless to realize that she did have feelings for Damon.

But she couldn't help but ask one thing: "She kissed you back, though? She didn't try to push you away?"

Damon hesitated then shook his head. "No, she wasn't trying to force me off of her. She was kissing me back."

"Huh…"

Damon stood abruptly and put some distance in between himself and Lucy. "Don't start again, Lucy. I can't do this anymore."

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it!" Lucy exclaimed, standing in excitement. "My goodness, that girl sure does know how to send mixed signals, doesn't she?!"

Damon shook his head, walking back toward the bed and picking up the discarded shirt again. He shoved it into the bag. "Which is why we need to leave. I'm never going to be good enough for her, no matter how hard I try. So I'm not going to try anymore."

Lucy sighed, then gave him a quick squeeze. "Well, _I_ think you're good enough. Just the way you are."

* * *

Elena sped down the dark roads, feeling like she was running out of time. Tears were flowing down her face, and she wiped them away furiously. She didn't know who she was madder at: herself or Damon.

Why did she have to say what she did? Of course, he was going to misinterpret it…

But _why_ did he have to misinterpret it? Why couldn't he have stuck around just long enough to actually listen to her?

God, he was so damn _frustrating_!

Elena took a shaky breath and started driving even faster. It was time to tell him how she felt, because apparently that kiss hadn't made it clear.

Her brakes squealed as she screeched to a stop in front of the boarding house. She practically fell out of the car and ran toward the front door. Yanking it open, she ran inside, shouting Damon's name. She was halfway upstairs to his room when he rushed toward her, a trace of fear in his eyes – probably thinking that, as usual, some supernatural threat was the reason for her urgency.

"Elena? What's wrong?"

She couldn't help but let out a breathless laugh, a little giddy that he was actually there. For some strange reason, she had been afraid that he wouldn't be, that he would have disappeared again without saying goodbye. A surge of relief went through her, and she smiled up at Damon. He continued to look confused. Feeling playfully flirty, she continued to smile up at him as she very, _very_ slowly climbed up the remaining steps until she was just one below him. They were so close they were almost touching, and Damon was watching her with clouded, almost suspicious eyes. He swallowed heavily, and the movement of his throat drew her eyes like a magnet.

She had the sudden urge to kiss him there.

And it was about time that she gave in to those urges.

She leaned forward, moistening her lips and feeling a rush of anticipation.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to interrupt. Don't mind me," Lucy started tiptoeing theatrically back toward Damon's bedroom, but she had already ruined the moment. Elena jumped backward, feeling a little guilty.

And then she suppressed that guilt.

"I'm sorry, Lucy," she announced with a firm confidence that she didn't really feel. She couldn't believe that she was about to fight a 300-year-old vampire for Damon's affections. It was a little…surreal. On the other hand, she was a little proud of herself. She had finally found the strength that she told Caroline and Bonnie she had. To them, she argued that it took strength to let him go, but now she knew that that was the fear talking. What _really_ took strength was fighting for love, admitting you were wrong, asking for forgiveness and for another chance. What took strength was stepping out of your comfort zone and being with the person who challenged you to be better. As she told Caroline and Bonnie, Damon had helped her develop that strength, and now she had the opportunity to finally use it to get what she wanted – and to finally admit that she actually _did_ want it.

Lucy turned to face her, raising an eyebrow. If Elena wasn't so nervous about what she was going to say, she probably would have wondered why Lucy was so obviously suppressing a smile.

"Sorry about what?"

Elena hesitated, knowing that there would be no going back after this…but a calm settled over her as she realized that she was perfectly okay with that.

"I'm sorry, but I…I _love _Damon, and I like you, I really do, but I'm going to fight you for him." The words came out in a rush, and Elena ended up breathing as heavily as if she had just run a race.

She must not have been as strong as she thought she was because she couldn't bring herself to look at Damon to see how he reacted. She instead focused intently on Lucy, trying to appear braver than she felt even as she simultaneously prepared to defend herself the best she could against Lucy's teeth. For a second, she thought that Lucy was baring those teeth at her. But then…she realized that Lucy was…grinning…

"OK. You win."

Elena reeled backward, completely caught off-guard. She didn't understand how someone who was so clearly in love with Damon would just give in like that. It actually made her angry; Damon deserved better than that. He deserved someone who would fight for him with the same passionate love that he felt for others. Elena was ashamed to admit that _she _didn't deserve him after everything she had done to him over the years, and it broke her heart to realize that Damon didn't have that with Lucy either, even if it would have made it more difficult to win him back.

"What?"

Lucy laughed. "You win, Elena. You've always won."

Elena shook her head, still trying to figure out what was happening. "What?" she repeated.

Lucy smiled and laughed again. "Elena. I love Damon. I love him so much that I can't even describe it. But I'm not _in love_ with him. I'm…" Lucy spread her hands out, clearly at a loss for words. "I'm… I'm his Lexi."

With that, Lucy smiled, winked, and walked away.

Elena stood stock still, trying to wrap her mind around what was just said. The words were simple enough, but what they actually _meant…_Elena wasn't expecting that, and now she didn't know how to react.

She took a deep breath and turned toward Damon.

* * *

Damon hadn't moved a muscle since Elena started talking. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as she made her declaration, even though she was steadfastly refusing to look at him. A part of him – the part of him that would always feel inferior – couldn't bring himself to believe he was actually hearing her say that. It was a dream, a fantasy, a werewolf bite induced hallucination. It couldn't actually be real.

But the other part of him – the part that Lucy had been nurturing all these months, the part of him that was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, he was worthy of love and of friendship, the part of him that didn't want to be angry and bitter anymore – that part was soaring. There was no denying the words that came out of her mouth. He should be feeling guilty for stealing his brother's girlfriend. He should be feeling a little angry that Elena had waited to finally admit her feelings until she thought that he was with someone else. He should be feeling a little embarrassed by the fact that it was now obvious he and Lucy had been playing a trick on everyone.

But all he was actually feeling was shock.

And…a little bit of fear. Things were going to change now. There was no going back after this…but a calm settled over him as he realized that he was perfectly okay with that.

He watched as Elena took a deep breath and turned toward him. A nervous yet excited feeling swirled around his stomach, and he was a little relieved to see that she looked about as scared as he did. They stared at each other for a long moment, both frozen and clearly unsure of what to do. A smirk blossomed on his face, and she slightly blushed in response. Seeing the effect he had on her gave him strength, and he found the words he wanted to say.

"So, is _now_ the right time to kiss you again?"

She smiled deeper, nodding her head vigorously as a few happy tears rolled down her cheeks. With his vampire speed, he practically attacked her, lifting her in his arms and pulling her into a deep, passionate kiss. All the other kisses they had shared were always tainted with a sense of wrong-doing; this was the first time that Damon actually felt like he was doing the right thing. He could sense the future in her kiss, and it was a future that promised friendship and love, passion and adventure.

A future that gave Damon everything he had always been looking for.

* * *

Oh my goodness, I'm so sad to be done with this story. Maybe inspiration will strike for a sequel someday because I really don't want to say goodbye to Damon and Lucy forever…

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the reviews. I always loved reading them and they really encouraged me to keep writing and finishing it. You all are the best readers a fanfiction writer could hope for.

While inspiration hasn't given me a sequel idea yet, I do have a couple other ideas for potential stories, so I thought I'd put it up to a vote about what you were interested in having me work on next (although no promises about when I would actually get around to posting another story…). I'll _try_ to honor the top vote-getter, but I'm not promising anything there either. I have to go where the muse takes me, but you can help direct the muse…

Anyway, here are your choices:

A re-telling from episode one in Damon's perspective (more like vignettes, thoughts during certain scenes or behind the scenes events – not every single minute of every single episode).

A story inspired by these two exchanges: 1) when Damon tells Stefan that maybe he'd go to London to see some friends, Stefan says he doesn't have any friends, and Damon sarcastically responds that Stefan is right and he only has him. And 2) Alaric saying that taking care of Jeremy and Elena was the closest he ever came to having the life he always wanted. (No, it wouldn't be a Damon/Alaric fic.)


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